1k of credit card debt, feel stressed and ashamed

[Cheddargorgeouss]

I got one of those 0% cards to purchase something I use for work.
I'm also going to visit family long haul with my partner and I got our flights on them too.
Then I changed jobs and went from weekly to monthly pay, so ended up using it a bit.
I don't use it at all now and I'm paying back more than the minimum each month. Ideally I'd like to have it fully paid off in the next 5 months.
Anyway I've been a bit stressed about money as also trying to save for a house deposit, save spending money for this holiday, and still have £150 of our accommodation to pay.
I don't have an overdraft or any other loan or credit card etc.
My partner and I had an advance from UC last year as he was unemployed so used to claim, I offered to pay it back so I pay £70 a month for that, luckily I've only got one more payment!
I'm on around 22k and partner 17k. He's on a zero hours contract and some weeks doesn't get full time hours. I am encouraging him to look for better paid work.
Anyway as a result we split bills accordingly, so I pay £100 a month more in rent than him, and I'd say I generally pay for around 2/3 of stuff but he does definitely contribute. He offers more but I feel like it's unfair seeing as I earn more.
Anyway last night I told him I was a bit stressed with how much there was to save and pay for and told him about my credit card. I mean he already knew about it but didn't know the exact amount.
He was furious, sighing and refusing to talk to me. He was really annoyed and now I feel really ashamed and irresponsible.
He has a card too but only uses it a little each month.
About a year ago he did also have around 1k debt on it, I can't even remember why not, but he cleared it eventually.
I know some people have 20k debt for instance, I have a great credit score and I'm always paying more than the minimum.
I've got almost 1k in savings which I know isn't a lot but it's a start I guess.
In the end he apologised and said he was just concerned and didn't want me to end up in trouble. I said I understood where he was coming from.
I just feel really ashamed now and irresponsible. I should have handled it better. I explained to him about how having to pay this UC back etc. And paying the extra 100 rent means maybe I don't save as much as I'd like. He offered more but I feel unfair.
I'm going to sell the original thing I'd bought on the card as I'll get around 400 pounds.
Any advice appreciated

I need to look at your finances and make sure you’re paying for things proportionally to your savings and have an equal amount left over.

You earn £22k and he earns £17k so, before tax, that’s a difference of £5k a year so only about £400 a month. After tax and NI you’re probably talking about £300 more a month maximum?

Youre paying off your own debt each month, plus the £70 pm, plus £100 extra rent and 2/3s of all extras. Are you really being left with the same amount as him at the end of each month because it sounds like all that would add up to more than your extra earnings. I think you need to look at both of your take home earnings and your shared outgoings and make sure it is fair and that you’re being left with the same money to save or spend on nice things after paying for essentials.

Sorry that should have said 56.5% ( of your joint income) is your salary pre tax within those maths figures. A good few typos there

Quickly checking what your post tax income is, there should be an approx £250 difference in that you should be getting approx 1500 pm and he 1250pm. Add in that you are paying for his £70 and his flights and etc. With that is mind do you think it is fair that you pay 2/3rds so that he can save?

Honestly. Stop being ashamed. Credit card use is NOT shameful and the most financially savvy people use them very effectively. Your credit score will be positively affected by having credit card debt AS LONG as you pay at least the minimum.

I have credit card debt. I have it on a 0% credit card and I have set up a direct debit set up so that it will all be paid off my the time the 0% ends. I have savings, I could pay it off now. But I don't need to and having cash savings is really useful.

Sounds like you've been really sensible.

Sorry just at work so thanks for the replies.
He gave me some towards the flights but I put it on my savings. He said he was furious about this and I should have put it back onto my credit card immediately.
Yeah I bring home maybe 300 net more than him per month.
I should ask him for a bit more, I just felt harsh because I earn more. But indeed nothing stopping him from getting at least a guaranteed hours job. He could be ok 20k at least with 40 hours

Thanks for reassuring me though I am feeling less ashamed now

17k = £1300 ish post tax
22K = £1550 ish post tax

How many months do you have left on the 0% rate? They are normally just promotional.
divide the £1000 equally over the remaining months and see if that is affordable if it isn’t then you need to either use your savings to pay it off or ask him to give you the money for his flights to help lower the balance.
you could look at moving the balance to another 0% card with a longer time to repay but you can easily fall into the trap of spending on the original card again.

have you compared both your take home pays rather than salary’s before deciding how to split the bills.
personally I would still go half’s regardless of income it’s not your fault he only earns 17k if he wants more disposable income he needs to get more hours or a better paid job

Christ, I long for the day I only have £1k of cc to worry about. Give yourself a break. Give him
some long, baleful looks.

You don't need to be ashamed and I agree with everyone else that you are taking on too much of the financial burdon. My dh pays for a lot more than I do now because his salary is about 5x as much as mine and I am part time to do all the childcare but pre kids we split everything 50/50 when we were both full time. There was a time when I was the higher earner. Split everything 50/50 and plan your outgoings on what he can afford. And stop offering to pay for things for him. Whole different ball game once you are married and have kids but at this stage look after your own finances a bit more.

If he can afford to save more, then he should be paying more towards the home.

Don't feel ashamed!

Your dp sounds like a twat sorry.

I would trade him in for a higher paid, nicer, non-twat partner. There will be plenty out there.

Go half’s on all bills and why were you paying his debt ? Don’t panic about the cc it’s 1k which if you now go half’s on bills you can then pay £200 a month you can pay it off in 5 months. Just shut it down if it’s stressing you out after it’s paid for, also I wouldn’t be buying a house with your partner if this is his attitude over a cc when your paying his debt!

To be fair, I can see why he’s be annoyed at you being in debt over something he gave you the money for (so his part of the flights).
He has also offered you more money. Take it, you barely earn more than him. When I was earning 26K and my husband 20K we split everything 50/50.

I wonder if you'd feel so ashamed if he wasn't prone to being furious when you make a (personal) decision he doesn't agree with. My controlling behaviour spider senses are getting a bit tingly.

I thought he would be ok with me putting it in my savings. It's not like I just blew it. I do see where he's coming from. I told him I'd put it onto the card

I think you needed take a hard look at your emotions around money, and also ask yourself if your boyfriend is actually not a decent human being.

first up, on your joint income, £1k of zero interest debt that you could (if you wanted) pay off immediately from savings is fuck all. Bloody hell, 4 years ago I had £20k unsecured loans and credit card debt plus mortgage, plus vehicle loan, on a similar combined income. (Though The split was different, I earn the bulk of that)

fitness card is zero interest, you did the right thing bunging the flight payment in to savings. Him being furious is, well, blood weird.

100% this.

OP if it helps with the shame thing - I earn a 6 figure salary, I have about £6k of debt on a 0% card. Because if someone is going to give me cash for free, and it smooths out my outgoings which I could ultimately otherwise afford I'd be stupid to say no! If you're aiming to pay the card off within 5 months it sounds like you could afford the amount you've borrowed on the card too so it's very financially savvy to manage your cash flow in this way. Obviously you don't borrow what you can't afford to spend but that's not what you're doing. No shame here at all.

Your DP sounds like a knob.

Be careful in this situation OP. I was exactly the sanecwith my (now ex) partner, dudnt like to ask fir more, he earned less etc. I ended up paying far more of my "fairshare" and in debt because I felt stupid that I couldnt manage it.

I'd contine to make the payments if th cc is still 0% abd aim to have it paid by the time the 0% runs out.

He’s setting off our collective spidery senses here..

this looks like the start (?) of controlling behaviour. Stick around and keep talking to the vipers here. Do NOT show him the thread though.

It sounds like he actually has more money than you after rent, food etc.

Can you actually afford to go on holiday?

Ultimately you have enough in savings to pay off the card so you don't have any debt as such?

I agree, 1k is fairly minimal and you sound very organised. If you're losing much on the item you purchased I wouldn't do it, presumably it was something you needed.

He reckons you only ever use a 0% for one specific purchase

Times are getting tough. Dont use your savings for £1k debt especially when its on 0%. Carry on clearing with amount you are comfortable and when 0% period finish , you can transfer it to another credit card . Dont let this small debt bother you.

🙄

Well I use 0% to buy stuff on so I can overpay our mortgage, then wait for a 0% with £0 transfer fee to move it to before the rate runs out etc.

It has saved us ££££££ in mortgage interest doing this - we are lucky to have the privilege of enough income and the type of (old) mortgage where we can overpay and draw back down the overpayment reserve without penalty.