1k of credit card debt, feel stressed and ashamed

[Cheddargorgeouss]

I got one of those 0% cards to purchase something I use for work.
I'm also going to visit family long haul with my partner and I got our flights on them too.
Then I changed jobs and went from weekly to monthly pay, so ended up using it a bit.
I don't use it at all now and I'm paying back more than the minimum each month. Ideally I'd like to have it fully paid off in the next 5 months.
Anyway I've been a bit stressed about money as also trying to save for a house deposit, save spending money for this holiday, and still have £150 of our accommodation to pay.
I don't have an overdraft or any other loan or credit card etc.
My partner and I had an advance from UC last year as he was unemployed so used to claim, I offered to pay it back so I pay £70 a month for that, luckily I've only got one more payment!
I'm on around 22k and partner 17k. He's on a zero hours contract and some weeks doesn't get full time hours. I am encouraging him to look for better paid work.
Anyway as a result we split bills accordingly, so I pay £100 a month more in rent than him, and I'd say I generally pay for around 2/3 of stuff but he does definitely contribute. He offers more but I feel like it's unfair seeing as I earn more.
Anyway last night I told him I was a bit stressed with how much there was to save and pay for and told him about my credit card. I mean he already knew about it but didn't know the exact amount.
He was furious, sighing and refusing to talk to me. He was really annoyed and now I feel really ashamed and irresponsible.
He has a card too but only uses it a little each month.
About a year ago he did also have around 1k debt on it, I can't even remember why not, but he cleared it eventually.
I know some people have 20k debt for instance, I have a great credit score and I'm always paying more than the minimum.
I've got almost 1k in savings which I know isn't a lot but it's a start I guess.
In the end he apologised and said he was just concerned and didn't want me to end up in trouble. I said I understood where he was coming from.
I just feel really ashamed now and irresponsible. I should have handled it better. I explained to him about how having to pay this UC back etc. And paying the extra 100 rent means maybe I don't save as much as I'd like. He offered more but I feel unfair.
I'm going to sell the original thing I'd bought on the card as I'll get around 400 pounds.
Any advice appreciated

Oh and he needs to pay you back for the UC or pay the balance of the holiday .

Stop subsidising him! I'm normally all for the higher earner contributing more but in this case you both earn so little that I can imagine it is a struggle. Let him pay his own debts and half of the bills. When he can't manage maybe he will pull his finger out and get a new job.

What job does your partner have OP?

The credit card really isn't a big deal. Just make sure you can pay it off before the interest free period.

I also think you should be splitting your living expenses 50/50 as your earnings are not that different.
Is your partner contributing to the cost of the holiday at all? Even though it's visiting your family and therefore not his choice, he's still getting a trip away and presumably some free/leisure time whilst you're there.
Don't sell the thing you need for work and stop apologising for what is a small amount of (affordable) debt. It sounds like you have it all under control.

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Personally, with your good credit rating, I'd be paying the minimum off each month, and look at transferring the balance to another credit card with a 2 year 0% balance transfer at the end of your 0% term.

In the mean time, make sure your savings are in a saving account with a decent interest rate.

So you earn £22k and your partner £17k. But what is the actual difference in your monthly take-home wage?

It sounds like you are paying too much. I think you need to go back to the beginning and rejig your finances as I find it hard to believe this setup would actually work out equally.

(Also, if you increased your pension contributions - wise thing to do - you could both have the same amount of monthly take home pay. That would be way better for you going forward, and would mean you would be able to do everything equally now.)

Why are you laying the £70 pm for him?

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I guess everyone has different attitudes to these things but we have a similar income to you and have cc debt (0%) of about £6k and we’re not worried about it at all. We always pay off more than the min payment and it’s slowly going down - we put a holiday on it and some roof repairs- and we just treat it like any other bill. As long as you can manage it then I don’t understand what the issue is, £1k is nothing…!

Can you afford a long-haul holiday if your partner was unemployed not so long ago and both of you are on modest salaries? Why do you need to pay for accommodation if you are visiting family - can they put you up to help reduce your costs? A lot of people seem to think holidays are essentials, they are a massive luxury and when your partner is only on 17k a long haul holiday is a bit 🤔

I can see where your DP is coming from! He offers to cover more of the bills, meaning you'd have more money to pay off your debt and you've refused and as a result have 1K debt.

Come on, get your priorities in order. I was £12.8k in debt. I also felt I might like to use my savings for a nice holiday. I made a sacrifice instead and am no longer in debt. There will be other opportunities to save up for luxuries and you have a credit card for emergencies anyway.

Sorry one more from me as I'm still thinking about it.

I can't help but feel that in your scenario it's unusual to be subsidizing your partner. You have a slightly better job, so you have slightly more money. That's fair and normal.

You are saving him money already by sharing rent and bills, compared to living alone. Not sure how you got to the point where you are paying off his debt, buying him holidays etc.

He’s offered more so take it. Don’t be a martyr.

Hi op, have you considered switching bank accounts? My other half and I did and was a easy £300 made straight away. I had been with the same bank for years and its so simple to switch. I wouldn't be concerned over your debt

Whilst it’s on 0% interest it makes sense to save keep the savings and pay off the card as much as you can afford

You do realise that the take home pay difference between 17k and 22k really isn't that much? There is absolutely no reason for you to be paying two-thirds of extras while your partner only pays one-third.

I note that your partner has offered to pay more but really this shouldn't be an offer, he should just do it as it would be paying his fair share.

He is in no position yo criticise you given you are subsidising his lifestyle and you supported him when he was unemployed.

@Cheddargorgeouss if it stays at 0% and you can manage the payments then there is no problem. If you want to get out of the habit then cut the card up so you end up with no debt and no card. I think you’re doing fine - you’re not a reckless overspender; you’ve borrowed at 0% and you’re still saving.

Absolutely ridiculous idea.
There's no shame to be had, it's just digital made up money anyway, not based on anything, no one lost out.

Take full advantage of your situation. If you are on UC look at setting up a nice payment plan for the credit card debt then forget about it.

Just pay off a little bit, keep saving, you need that, a bank doesn't.

I know everything is relative but 1k cc debt as debts go is really not going to be the undoing of you. It's easily repayable in many ways depending on how you wish to proceed. That aside, your partners reaction is more concerning.

Pre-tax he earns 80% of what you do.

It might be better to consider your post-tax, use that as your starting point and allocate the basic payments from there (that would include the UC repayment).

That seems fairer.

Myself and my partner pay proportional bills to our earnings also but I think you are paying too much more than your partner's . You should be paying 56.5 percent and he should be paying around 43.5 towards bills and food

Oh sorry just saw others response, they are right , you need to do your maths based on post tax earnings. You are paying too much for sure

Ps why are you the only one paying back the 70 per month. Your partner now owes you money

There is nothing wrong with debt. Well-managed debt allows you to live a fulfilled and happy life, and is financially smart. Everyone who has a mortgage has an enormous debt, far larger than a 1k credit card. Let alone a 0% credit card that is not currently costing you anything in interest.
I've spent my life buying almost everything I can on 0% credit cards and putting the money I would have spent on those (less the cc minimum monthly payments) items into a savings account. Then when the 0% period ends I pay it off with the savings and any savings interest earned in that period is "profit"! This approach is incredibly financially savvy and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Debt in itself it not intrinsically bad. You can be smart with it and use it to your advantage!

Just to help you add your two salaries together , divide by 100. That's the combined income. I did it pre tax but you likely get taxed more than him.

So ore tax 17k + 22k (39k) divided by 100 =390 x 55.5 = 22035 ( your salary ore tax).

If you do the calc post tax you probably work out closer to 50 /50.

You don't have money because you pay too much for your joint spending