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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you sibling relationship are like

142 replies

Fluffycow78 · 24/09/2022 21:25

Good or bad?

OP posts:
familyissues12345 · 24/09/2022 22:18

It's a bit none descript, very different people. Nothing overly wrong with my brother, but we don't see each other, or talk to each other unless a prearranged bigger family event.

Ihaveoflate · 24/09/2022 22:20

Not great but a lot better since we both had children. I think now she's just too tired to constantly pass judgement on

Ihaveoflate · 24/09/2022 22:21

.... pass judgement on me.

bookworm14 · 24/09/2022 22:21

These threads always fascinate me as so many people seem to have an indifferent, bad or non-existent relationship with their siblings. Really belies the idea that you must give your first child a sibling at all costs or they will grow up lonely and miserable! I get on with all my siblings, for what it’s worth, although I don’t see them as often as I should.

JockTamsonsBairns · 24/09/2022 22:22

I'm the youngest of 6. There's 14 years between my eldest sibling and me.

I was 7 years old when my eldest brother emigrated to Australia, so I didn't have any sort of relationship with him. I've never been out to Australia to visit him, but he comes home to Scotland every five years or so.
Being honest, I find him insufferable. He's got some questionable views, and prides himself on his misogyny.
Obviously we're siblings, but I know nothing about him, and I find him utterly repellent.

My second oldest brother lives in the USA. We message each other occasionally, but we don't have a lot in common. He earns stupid money, and will say to me stuff like "Come over for a holiday!" - but I'm not in a financial position to do so. Despite earning a multiple six-figure salary, he has no concept of what life is like when you can't afford to pay for flights. He's never offered.
Sorry, italics - I'm not sure what I've done?

I have another couple of brothers living in the UK, who I'm reasonably close to. That said, our mother has been ill for the past 5 years, and neither one of them has stepped up to make anything of a contribution - so I'm feeling pretty resentful of both of them at the moment.
They like to text me asking for updates, but their actual tangible input has been next to nothing.

As for my sister, she's my absolute lifeline. We are the best of friends, and we could absolutely call on each other at any time of the day or night, no matter what.
It wasn't always thus - we fought like cat and dog as kids, and there were a couple of occasions as teens where we actually tried to murder each other.
But, she's the one person in my life who I can rely upon, and the same goes for her.

Alexisrose16 · 24/09/2022 22:23

I have very lovely siblings. We have had awful things happen to us in life but how we dealt with it together was amazing. Despite the awful situation I have many happy memories from that time. I wouldn’t be without them and we are all very different people.

InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise · 24/09/2022 22:23

Two brothers, one older, one is my twin. Love them both and we’re all there for each other. I prefer the company of my older brother though.

imnotthatkindofmum · 24/09/2022 22:24

My sister is one of my best friends, I only have 2 others. We're very close, we've volunteered together for the last 5 years. She looks after my youngest after school and I used to have her kids when they were younger too. She moved back to our home town near me just after I had my first and I don't know how I'd have coped without her tbh. We see each other almost every week day but we don't spend enough time being social without kids!

My brother is a recluse. He makes bad decisions and I get frustrated with him. I rarely see him even though he's just the other side of town. He doesn't really like kids. The kids only see him at Christmas. Last Christmas my nephew said "who's that man?" BUT we are close in our weird way. I made a lot of effort to see him on his doorstep over covid because even though he's reclusive he wasn't even going to work and I was worried about him. When we do see each other everything's fab and we get on really well. We take the piss out of our sister together.

Pinkandgreentrousers · 24/09/2022 22:25

3 siblings all very close help each other with children, especially the ones in the same school as mine.

Sunsea21 · 24/09/2022 22:25

Very good. I chat via WhatsApp most days with my brother and meet up with him about once a week- either doing something with his partner and my children, meeting with extended family or just lunch the two of us. I’m very blessed to have him in mine and my childrens lives

Auntieobem · 24/09/2022 22:25

I have a twin brother, who I see rarely but love to bits

DowntonCrabby · 24/09/2022 22:26

We’re all very different but keep in touch and have a great time when we’re all together. I’m not sure we’d have chosen each other as the best of friends if we weren’t related.

DH is close to his siblings and his DS I get on really well with, I genuinely would have chosen her as a friend and she’s now been in my life for longer than she hasn’t, I just see her as another sister.

Monkeywithaminiaturesymbol · 24/09/2022 22:27

I have two siblings. I live close to neither one of them, but we stay in touch by phone quite a lot. One of them never annoys me. The other one I can get very wound up by. Just totally different values and also, she gets really aggressive over nothing and towards totally innocent bystanders, so I do have to keep her at arms length really.

yasminisa · 24/09/2022 22:28

I don't have contact with any of mine. I was the black sheep

squashandrun · 24/09/2022 22:28

Two sisters, closer to one than the other but that's because we're more similar, love them both to absolute pieces and we can talk for hours or just sit in comfortable silence. We meet up about once a week for dinner and go away on holiday together too. We fell out a lot as children but space has helped our relationship a lot.

Swannning · 24/09/2022 22:29

Sister is three years younger than me but we are so so close that she is like part of me, and I her. She lives in the next road over, as do my parents.

We are all exceptionally close, our husbands are good friends with each other, our kids get on well.

We are incredibly lucky.

FlowersFlowersFlowers to those of you who have difficulty relationships

Frances0911 · 24/09/2022 22:32

Not great since my sister married the male equivalent of Meghan Markle and distanced herself from me and my parents. My DM died suddenly having barely seen her nieces for five years, so I can never forgive my sister for this.

Stationsofthecross · 24/09/2022 22:32

We are very close - big age difference between us. Don’t live in the same country though - we speak everyday. 3 of us in total.

LetMeSpeak · 24/09/2022 22:32

my sibling relationships are good but somewhat divided. There is big age gap between 3 of the older ones and us younger ones. Them 3 are closer to each other. I have become closer to 1 of my older siblings because our DCs are closer in age then our older nieces/nephews though

Frances0911 · 24/09/2022 22:33

Frances0911 · 24/09/2022 22:32

Not great since my sister married the male equivalent of Meghan Markle and distanced herself from me and my parents. My DM died suddenly having barely seen her nieces for five years, so I can never forgive my sister for this.

Meant Grand children, not nieces.

Parkmama · 24/09/2022 22:36

Very close to both of my sisters (half) and consider them to be great friends

mamabear715 · 24/09/2022 22:37

Just one sister, close.

mrsfollowill · 24/09/2022 22:37

Some sad stories on here. I have one sister who is a less than a year younger than me. We are 50+ these days but still the best of friends. She lives 100 miles away but we meet up monthly and phone/whatsapp daily. Had a 'girls night out' this year- gig, hotel stay just us two - was brilliant and I'm going to make sure we do it every year now. We were like a pair of 16 year old kids for 24 hours with a lot more money than back then!

Mabelstearooms · 24/09/2022 22:38

I get on very well with my brother when we are together at family events but we just don't see each other or talk that regularly. I have a few step brothers I get on well with too but the same situation. My eldest stepbrother is twice my age and more like a father figure to me. No relationship with my step sister because she's a twat.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 24/09/2022 22:40

I have two brothers, I think I have a fairly good relationship with both of them and their wives.

We have our moments and disagreements but ultimately I know of I needed them they'd be there for me and vice versa.