To feel like I've been "brainwashed" by my DH

[RitaHi]

My DH has become the type of person who believes the covid vaccine is a way to depopulate.

He puts all his money into cryptocurrency.
He has spent more money than we have on "supplies" such as tinned food and weapons.
He genuinely believes that he has some inside knowledge into the future of the world and needs to "protect" us from it.

We have 400 tins of beans, 200 tins of tuna, hundreds of kg of rice, and it's taking up a whole room in our house.

We had a big chat last night and I said I wasn't on board and could no longer live this way. He agreed to donate half the food to the food bank (which would be about £3000 worth of food.)

Today he's changed his mind and says there is no harm in stockpiling food and he's keeping all of it.

I've tried so many times. He's gone down the rabbit hole and I don't think I can bring him back.

What would you do? I'm so lost 😞

I think this is serious enough for you to need professional help for him, OP.

I couldn’t live with someone like this, not so much the fact you’ve got a ridiculous amount of food (that will surely go off) but I couldn’t have a conversation with someone night after night who is clearly deluded.

I've come to the point where I'm questioning myself.

He's got so angry about it tonight that he's stormed out.

Bollocks to that.

Leave.

Protect your own assets. Who owns the house or whose name is on the lease? Do you have your own income.
Encourage him to seek help and leave if he won’t.

Agree with PP, you either need to leave or get him some serious help.

Given food prices keep the food! Take half when you leave.

Can you get him to stop going online for a week and see if that helps?

I'd be worried too.

This. There’s something seriously wrong with him, sorry. I couldn’t live with that. Don’t question yourself. He’s losing touch with reality. Either he needs help or you need to leave. Please protect yourself in the meantime - financially if nothing else, if he’s investing silly money into food and goodness knows what into possibly unreliable cryptocurrencies. Also find people around you, a professional therapist if necessary, to keep you strong and believing in yourself while you sort this out as you’re not the one with the problem. So sorry you are having to deal with this 💐

He follows everything Donald Trump says and he gets annoyed at me when I disagree.

I want to leave but we've been together for 16 years and our lives are so intertwined.

I would try to unentwine yourself op.

Weapons? What weapons? Are you safe from him?

OP safeguard your finances because if he goes down a crypto hole you could lose everything. Crypto is for suckers and is totally unregulated so you have zero protection from fraud, zero protection from crypto exchanges just banning withdrawals, etc etc.

He sounds mentally unwell. He needs professional help. What weapons has he got? Terrifying!

What would I do?! I would have left him a long time ago!!

You really need to leave.
Sorry.

I'm a prepper and have maybe 70 tins total for a family of 6. That's doable to rotate before it goes out of date. Your dh food is all destined for the bin surely? Can you approach him from that angle?

Starting today, little by little, step away. Start hiding money, sorting out joint finances, look into divorce, getting your own place etc etc. He is on a downward trajectory to misery and loneliness, don't go with him.

You have £6000 worth of food in your house as spare? That's unbelievable. If this is true I'd lay my hands on any documents which showed my entitlement to the assets, take cash out of any joint account and leave.

He has a machete and a crossbow. He doesn't use them but he claims that they're there if we ever did need them.

He also has water filtration systems and army ration packs.

We live in a big city, on a third floor flat.

My friend's husband is also a conspiracy theory nutter. It's been testing to say the least.

He's spent six thousand pounds on food!

I'd be very concerned about the weapons. Do you have anywhere you could go ?

I remember (now ex) H starting.

Believing everything he read online. Freeman of the land stuff, initially.

You couldn’t question it. Anything but agreement was met with anger. It escalated to flat earth stuff, all sorts

I ended up leaving with the kids and slept on a friends sofa with them.

We split, the kids are 12 and 18 don’t speak to him. He cried and begged dd not to have the covid vaccine. Then screamed and shouted when she did. He called me and asked my to let him know where 5g masts were, so he could report them to a group that was pulling them down as they spread covid.

His contribution to dd going to uni was 40 cans of beans and 20 tins of tuna. These types really like beans and tuna 🤷🏻‍♀️

He has recently been better. At his worst he was engaged to a woman who, I believe, also believed these things. He is now with someone else, who I think doesn’t and he has calmed down.

It got quite scary during covid. Calls about how he knew that secretly millions were planning on a revolt and going to put an end to the government and how we would go back to trade skills rather than money. He was so happy believing this dystopian future.

apart from the odd ranting phone call or package of beans, we don’t hear much now.

I can not recommend you leave enough. Especially if you have kids. It’s taken along time for the kids to recover from some of this.

If your in a third floor flat would there be any issue with the floorboards bearing the weight of what must be tonnes of food?

Sorry, if he won’t get any help I would advise you leave him.