To say that long term marriage

[Bluey124]

Can be easy, fun and that you can stay in love as much as you always were?
This forum can be so depressing at times. We married at 23, still together 14 years later and very happy. Many of our friends are the same and this isn't looking happy for social media either

@Bestcatmum what a shitty thing to do to you , I hope your health is better now , you deserve better than that

We're still early days as opposed to many here! 12 years together, 6 married. But he's still my best friend and I can't imagine life without him. We've been through our rough patches but never contemplated separating. Hoping it'll still be like this in another 20 years!

@Bestcatmum
sorry my post was meant for you - hope you’re well now and sorry to hear about what happened 💐

31 years and counting, here.
Wouldn't swap him for anything and I know he feels the same.

Yes, there are some who decide to jump ship at this length of time but sometimes marriage is for life.

19 years in.

Happier now than the day we met. Lots of spontinaity and fun in the earlier days have been replaced by certainty and commitment in the more recent days. I value and treasure both. Been through some difficult times but OH has NEVER NEVER let me down.

Hear hear. Celebrating 30yrs next month. He drives me nuts sometimes, no doubt he would say the same. If I could go back in time I would choose him & do it all over again.

My parents split when I was 13 (I'm the youngest). My aunt and uncle split when their youngest was 18. I think things burnout early on or around the 20+ year mark for most I've known. But NOTHING surprises me now.

We've reached nearly 38 years married and 2 sons in their 30s, we did it all young, so neither of us hitting our 60s yet and we are still as good as the start. We have grown together, corny as that sounds.

Any long term relationship or marriage is a leap of faith.

And for some people, that leap and the continued work (or not, it might come easily) to remind yourselves that this is why you made that choice, pays off.

Pissing over anybody's chips because they haven't had it all fall apart yet or haven't made it to 40+ years (we'll never do that because we met too late in life - it doesn't mean it can't be as good a relationship because I'll be dead before that point) is mean when there isn't any signs it's going wrong or was never fated to last/be happy.

OP, I'm happy for you that you and your friends have happy marriages. Long may you continue to live your lives together happily.

For the rest of you, I hope that whatever the future brings, it is also happy for you.

It is on mumsnet.

Been 35 years near enough (plus a couple of years as friends and engaged). If I had the chance I'd do it all again. See ourselves growing old together, at least I hope we get the chance to grow old together. 🙏

I think that that is true but I don't think you have been married long enough for it to be classed as long term @Bluey124 I was uncertain of classing myself in that category either at 20+ years when I read your title.

Completely, utterly agree.

I read the most bitter, weird thread that ‘all men will cheat if they have the option’ and people almost unanimously agreeing coming on there saying it’s inevitable, and even if you yourself say you’ll never cheat you can’t ever say that because all people are trash given the opportunity (absolutely not true!). Much as I like it, Mumsnet is truly a midden pit of bitterness sometimes and it can be infectious.

I love my partner. He’s my best friend and every day I feel so blessed to have him. Not every relationship is misery or a build up of gradual resentments! I’m looking forward to nothing more than spending another 17 years together and then some.

14 years married and still in love is something to be proud of. Husband and I are at 12 years now and have outlasted a number of our friends who married at a similar time to us. Get a bit fed up of all the miserable ltb comments on mumsnet.

I think happier people don't tend to post as too busy being happy.

I think most of us turn to forums in troubled times.

14 years is not really long term, but I hope that you continue to be happy.

53 years here. We met in our teens. People said it wouldn’t last as we were always bickering. However, we share the same views and values. I always say we have knocked each other’s corners off ( I don’t mean physically!) and so now the relationship runs smoothly.

A quick google shows that the average length marriage in the UK for opposite sex couples is 12.3 years - so by that metric, 14 years is an over-averagely long marriage.

Thanks whataload and ABC, I didn't mean to be a cranky old so and so but I just don't trust men any more, their heads are so easily turned.
Our friends were speechless when they heard, they said we were the closest happiest couple they knew. Obviously not.
I'm absolutely fine now, luckily I've always worked and the house is mine only - I owned it before I met him. It was 5 years ago and my life is peaceful and I have friends but not sure I will ever get over the shock of it.

Met at 17 and 19. Now in our early 60's. Just had our 43rd wedding anniversary.
Of course there has been ups and downs but still madly in love.

40 years together, married 36. Blissfully happy with each other. 14 years isn't a long marriage.

My parents were married for 50 years. The last 2 were tough because of his Parkinson's but apart from that they were great together - they shared the hard work, the parenting, but also the laughs, the fun and the adventures.

I had a total of 20 years with my late husband which were just like that. The remaining 5 were hell on wheels because he became an alcoholic, but that doesn't mean the good years didn't happen.

That's because the divorces early on skew the figures. More than half all marriages make it to 20 years and then about half to 30 years.

That's not to say happily married of course.

14 years is medium term by almost everyone's standards on here.

28 years here and still very happy. No one knows what the future holds but I would love to spend the rest of my life with my wonderful DH.

@Arou
Hear hear!

25 years. Still happy. Lockdown made us realise that when retirement comes we won’t annoy the hell out of each other,