Does everyone have someone they secretly fancy?

[dottypotter]

In real life I mean not people in the media/spotlight.
If so have you kept it to yourself or told anyone?
Does everyone have someone they secretly fancy.
I do.

Nope. It's perfectly possible to be attracted to other people even if you're happy with your partner. But I honestly cannot even remember the last time I fancied a real life man since meeting my dh over 20 years ago. I'm just very picky (that sounds a bit superior and I really don't mean it that way) and I have really fancied very very few people in my life (aside from the odd mild celebrity crush).

@Underanothersky just because that applies to you doesn’t mean it a universal truth.

To be fair, @Underanothersky said you can, not that everybody does. Just because some people haven't, it doesn't necessarily mean they couldn't ever.

Occasionally I get hit by a crush but I think it probably depends where I am in my cycle because I can meet them again another time and be completely underwhelmed.

It’s nothing like my feelings for dh though. That’s a whole different league. (but he’s a god among men imo)

And also, fanny gallops aside, I really couldn’t be arsed with getting to know someone, figuring out the remote control, sides of the bed and all that. I’m too lazy to be anything but happily married or single.

Fanny gallops aside 🤣🤣🤣🤣 just spat out my coffee. Absolutely belly laughing 🤣

Yes, you are so right, I am having an emotional affair with the Postman🙄

@Fairislefandango
tbh I didn’t say that that poster did say that, I was just making the point we both have different feelings on it. There isn’t a universal consensus on it.
plus to me there’s a difference between a casual fancy, and a full on all consuming crush focusing on a specific person - the op doesn’t really specify which one they’re referring to

@Underanothersky
must be exhausting making everything about yourself

@Underanothersky
when I shared my opinion - it triggered you so much you had to tag me and impose your opinion directly as to suggest mine was incorrect - and you’re continuing to take it all so personally 😂

Yes, I do. I’ve never mentioned it to anyone as he’s married with children, I’m very conscious of making sure he never even gets an inkling.

I love dh but have recently been having very dirty thoughts about a colleague.

No not since I was a teenager.Too old for that nowadays!

Tom Hardy, I saw him in a co-op once and he smiled at me.

In proper real life, one of the surgeons at work, although some times he gives me sociopath vibes.

Nah, too old. :-)

I have a crush on a single male colleague. I’m unhappily married and staying for the kids. But even if I got divorced, nothing would ever happen between us. He’s 30 and his last girlfriend was 28 and beautiful, young and free and single. There’s no way he’d downgrade to a 40yo divorced mum with stretch marks and loose tummy skin and wrinkles starting to appear. We’re good friends and I’d never tell him about my crush, it would ruin our friendship and nothing would come of it anyway.

Occasionally in real life but I’m pretty happy with DH and actually a lot of men I just don’t find attractive anymore!
If Ryan Reynolds or Paul Rudd were to walk in that would be a different matter!

Yes, alas, on a single friend since the spring. It’s made me lose lots of weight and is wrecking my head. I’m (otherwise) happily married. He is a kind, generous, thoughtful friend, and has absolutely no idea.

Not real life people, no.

Yes. Richard from the school run.

It would be interesting if this was on a men’s forum.

My male friend was saying the other day ( and he’s honestly a nice guy) pretty much every woman men meet they have a little think if they’d sleep with her or not. He said men find women attractive all the time.
It seems we’re quite measured on this thread and picky… I know I am! I don’t walk through life finding men attractive left, right and Centre.

Yes, I used to, a lot! When I was in an unhappy marriage - was easier to fixate and romanticise because I ‘needed’ the distraction. I look back and cringe!

Not since being with my wonderful handsome hubby! Just have no interest in anyone else - sorry if I sound smug!

I did have recently. A dad at school. Clearly nothing going to happen, but I enjoyed looking.
Then I bumped into him and his son at the park and he had these awful grey socks and cargo shorts on. I had the ick immediately. Can't even describe the internal reaction I had to those socks.
Have seen him several times since. Not even a flutter.

@GyozaGuiting
is it fair to say what your friend described is a fleeting casual type of thought? And is there a distinction to be made between a casual fancy and a full on crush?

@RhubarbFairy
😂

I will fight you for Ryan Reynolds. My husband teases me about it. He texted me when RR was in Wrexham recently as I was visiting family in Wales at the time. Not even embarrassed to admit I googlemapped the drive.

Yes but he is bad news and an ex that didn’t work out the first time. Probably won’t end up back there and we will both be in relationships again soon, if he already isn’t