To ask DS to not feed all his freinds

[Tonto2001]

DS is starting to get the the age where he's going out and bringing freinds back to play computer and chill in his room.

The other day he brought a few freinds round and whilst I am in no means a tight a**e, he ended up giving them loads of food (Treats mainly) and drinks that we bought DS for the week ahead.

We had a talk with him after and explained that we love that he wants to share but these things were for him for the rest of the week but I couldn't help feeling like I was being really mean.

I'd love to be able to say help yourselves but everything costs so much and now it means DS doesn't have some of his treats until we next go shopping.

How does everyone else manage it?

THIS.
Teenaged boys seem to always be hungry, and friends whose families have full cupboards and fridges are known.

I had a friend whose home was rammed with the type of goodies that we only saw once a year at birthday parties..Eg, crisps, fizzy drinks, biscuits.

I hope your son is being pressured ...We used to say to our friend ''Shall we go to yours?'' because her house was warm and well~ stocked.

@Tonto2001 Hide the treats away.
Teens can be like locusts, and can strip a cupboard bare, especially stuff like 'Treats'
Let it be known that your house isn't a ''Good for snacks'' house, or you will one feeding everyone!

I agree, a grown up conversation about treats and how much things cost etc

i think he needs to know that if he shares everything out, you won’t be buying more.

A cheap snack box for friends is an idea, or just offering biscuits. They don’t need to all be having individually packed packets of crisp and chocolate bars, or whatever it is he’s been giving them.

Our house was always considered a destination, due to cheap white bread, potato waffles and fried egg sandwiches.

@JustDanceAddict

why does he need snacks?
presumably he eats lunch and you give him dinner.
this crazy entitlement to constant supply of snacks that some people have is really strange

He’s very tall and seems to need food every couple of hours even after a full dinner!
he can eat dinner here, go out and eat kfc or similar 😆
its more he finds it odd some friends don’t offer snacks than an entitlement. If you’re there for an evening you’ll wanna eat something.

ButyouwereuptoyouroldtricksinChaptersFouretc 🙃 but the boy is 13.

13 year old boys will go as a group to the house of someone they aren't that friendly with if they're guaranteed unlimited WiFi and console time accompanied by "real" coke and walkers crisps, Kitcats, Oreos, or whatever. Those kids aren't horrible but they're also not real friends, just neutral random kids, and won't stick around in any other context.

Just as 16 year olds will go in groups to a house where they're bought/ allowed to help themselves to beer even if they don't like the teen who lives there and wouldn't be there for them as a friend anywhere else.

But if they eat what are essentially snacks you bought for DS does it matter? Unless he expects you to buy a load more then I don't see the problem. If it is a problem though just buy in a box of cheap stuff and he can use that for his mates. Honestly though, having had a son who struggled with friendships, I'd just let him crack on unless it was massively expensive.

@TokyoTen

food is massively expensive at the moment though isn’t it, that’s what makes it hard

Ha ha as if the only reason they're not hanging around in street corners is because if the snacks you provide.

@WeAreTheHeroes me! Do people put butter and jam on toast together?

Cheap white bread and fried egg sounds like Manna from Heaven to hungry teens :)

@LuckySantangelo35

Tell me you don't have teenagers without telling me you don't have teenagers

If I remember correctly you don't even have children full stop, so not sure why you comment on threads like these when you have no idea

No, but Peanut butter with Honey is divine!...As are Crumpets with honey and a tiny smidgeon of marmite. {Found this combo out by accident, when marmite and honey {Made separately} melted on the plate..Gorgeous!

^ agree with this

My mum was v strict about us not offering food to neighbourhood kids when playing out (and they were all a few minutes from home tbh)

For an arranged hangout I agree it would be more usual to offer something but squash/biscuits etc should cover it - I would not want to be feeding the whole neighbourhood without reciprocation either

@pickledeggnog

does it matter if I don’t have my own teenage child?

I was a teen once as were we all, and I didn’t assume when I went round my mates houses or they came round mine that I would get tons of snacks! It just didn’t enter my head or my mates

you don’t have to be a mother of a teen to be able to have an opinion on this

YABU and yes, mean and tight. You can’t have guests round and not give them treats.

@LuckySantangelo35

For you to so confidently say they shouldn't need food after school, yes it would be helpful if you had an ounce of experience of what teen boys especially are like

Unless you're also male?

Now he faces the consequence; his pals ate all his treats and there's none left for DS.

Show him the supermarket bill and the exact cost of what was eaten/drunk.

I'm not completely starving them, and they aren't being invited round, its a group of boys that have got bored playing at the park.
If it was one freind and an organised visit I'd probably buy some things in for that.
This is just general hanging about.
If this turns into a daily occurance we literally won't have anything left!!

@StarCourt Of course they do!!! Surely you can’t have gone through life having jam on toast with no butter thinking that’s normal!!

Oh for goodness sake please don’t make him sharing food a bloody issue if it’s food that’s earmarked for him anyway. Do teens even eat lunch at school? We never did, I fed my friends younger brother for 3 years with my lunch.

Then he’ll just be going without in his lunchbox that week. It’ll not cost you any extra, and he gets to choose if he gives them the generic biscuits or the better stuff.

If he chooses to eat everything with his friends, then the natural consequence is there's none left for the rest of the week, surely?

I'm not sure why there's an issue. Just don't buy anymore until you next go shopping and next week, buy a load of value crisps/biscuits/cheap bread and let them get on with it.

If he has pocket money tell him to use that to buy snacks for his mates?