Child (momentarily) left on school bus

[Busybus]

My 5 year old gets a school bus. It's a private company with a driver and bus assistant. DC started getting the bus at the start of the year. Its so convenient and generally we have had nothing to say about it but good things.

Two weeks ago on the first day back, I went to collect DS from the bus. When they pulled up, the usual children got off and as I waited for my child, the doors closed and the bus drove off. I had to run after the bus shouting at them to stop. The stopped at the bottom of the street and let my child off. No big deal -not great but these things happen. I laughed it off and that was that.

Yesterday, my daughter was upset not long after we got home. She said that in the morning, when they had all got to school, everyone got off the bus except her. She couldn't unbuckle her seatbelt and the bus started to move off, so she shouted 'no, no, no!' so the bus driver would hear her. Luckily he did. Going by what my child said, the bus had started pulling off but hadn't got very far. He unbuckled her seatbelt and helped her off the bus.

When she told me I was a bit annoyed for her but glad she had got off the bus ok. The more and more I thought about it, the more upset I felt. I woke up several times last night thinking about her shouting 'no, no, no!' and how she must have felt.

I spoke to the assistant this morning as I wanted to hear her side of story. My DC tends to be pretty good at remembering things accurately but at the end of the day, she is 5 so it's important to get all the facts. The assistant didn't deny it. In fact, her response was 'yeah but the bus hadn't got very far...I'll keep her beside me today'.

Something about it didn't sit right with me. I told one of the other mums and I ended up getting a bit upset. The other mum reminded me that situations like these can end up tragically and it dawned on me that while my child was OK in the end, who knows what else might have happened, and this doesn't take away from how scared she was.

I then told DC's teacher who took it very seriously and passed it on. I wasn't emotional, just wrote the facts as I had them and explained my concerns. The bus company has been informed and said it won't happen again. I didn't want to make a big deal about it but my instincts are saying that I need to protect my child (and other kids too). However my instinct when it comes to my kids can't always be trusted, as I can be a bit on the over protective side.

I'm picking my child up from the bus soon and I'm dreading seeing the assistant who most likely has been reprimanded for something she didn't seem to think was a big deal. I'm not sure how to handle it. Human error happens, everyone has made mistakes or overlooked things so I don't want heads to roll. I just feel sorry for my little girl and so many different scenarios have gone through my mind.

Yanbu: the bus assistant should have done a head count and final sweep of the bus and not to do so was dangerous. You were right to escalate it.

Yabu: everyone makes mistakes and it was just one of those things, DC was fine and you should have left it at that.

@TakeawayManAlan the OP has said she lives abroad.
In some countries the bus stopping outside the children's house is common practice rather than a bus stop. Have you never watched the Simpsons where Bart and Lisa are picked up right outside their door (and they've been catching that bus since the 90s 🙂)
It's not 'privileged' in some places - it's just the norm.

Is she at a SEN school? 5 seems very young to get a bus even if there is an assistant on board.

What happens on arrival to school? Are they just dropped and make their own way in? Shouldn’t school also have a procedure whereby they hand over all the children from the bus if they’re that young?

I think the fact that there was an assistant on the bus, whose job is, I presume, to make sure no one gets left behind, would concern me. Especially that there have been two occasions when this has happened.
At this point I would be bringing it up with the owners/management of the bus company, and getting reassurance that this will not happen again. The bus company should ensure extra training, and reviewing their policies, as I would go as far as saying this is a significant event, that should be taken seriously

@Tootels loads of 5 year olds in the UK catch school buses if they live rural. Not unusual.
(The OP isn't in UK though)

Ah ok didn't realise they lived away from school. Even so wouldn't you move closer to a school? I still take my 10 year old.

Do you have to use this bus service? You wouldn’t have these issues if you dropped them and picked them up yourself.

Yes my kids do go to a private school. The bus is not a free service. Kids don't get dropped off at my house, not sure where that came from. Bus assistant isn't a young girl. Even 'privilaged' children deserve to be safe.

I’d be worried if your child didn’t turn up to school that she’d be assumed sick and nothing done about it.

We get a text within 15 mins of the school day if our child isn’t there and then a phone call 15 mins later if you don’t contact them.

missing the point I know and yes you are right to think being left on the bus is a big deal.

@Tootels this isn't relevant to the OP but are you really not aware that if children live in a village that doesn't have a school they will get put on a bus to the village that has a school.
It's a normal thing in parts of the UK.
My mum was bused from her village to the next one back in the 1950s and the current children in the village do exactly the same thing.

Where I am we would get called by 9:30 if forget to ring in and say a child is sick.

I get the anxiety, my son got on the wrong bus home of the first day of secondary school. We live in a rural area so could’ve been anywhere in a 20 mile radius or still on bus heading to a town 30 miles away but your daughter was more resilient - mine was oblivious until tracked down 🤣

I always let the school know if she will be off so have never known what would happen if I didn't. They may very well chase up kids who don't arrive. I'm not sure and was just assuming. Maybe they do call but they never had to for me as I always tell them.

It's the assistants job solely to look after the children on the bus. Which she failed to do, not once, but twice, in quick succession. She needs a formal written warning, minimum. Checking all the children have got off is item number one on the checklist of responsibilities, surely?!

Even so wouldn't you move closer to a school?

DSD used the school coach as we lived 5 miles away from the only school that we could get her in as we were granted an Emergency Child Protection Order midway through the school year. We couldn't move until the final court date, by which time DSD was settled into that school and we did not think another upheaval would be good for her. The one literally a 5 minute walk away (which DD went to when she was old enough), was full. Sometimes things just aren't that simple.

Not unreasonable at all. I hope your child is okay. Child safety is Paramount.
The assistant showed negligence.

Yanbu. This bus assistant needs to properly carry out the job they are paid for FFS!!

Yanbu at all. I would only do this arrangement at this age because there is supposed to be an assistant. Would they notice if anything happened to your child on the bus or getting off. What if her bag or coat got stuck in the doors? What was the assistant actually doing? I don't understand the people saying yabu as no harm no foul. So if it all went horribly wrong it would then be okay to be upset about it?!

The bus is a temporary thing that will stop in a few months. Why our kids get the bus isn't relevant but it's a short term solution to some logistical issues. I assumed that if there is an assistant, the children will all be assisted. I'm not getting the 'take the kids to school yourself' comments. I'm using a service that is supposed to be set up to provide appropriate supervision.

The fact that I'm 'middle class' or 'privilaged' surely has nothing to do with the issue. Do I deserve for my daughter to have been frightened and trapped on the bus, even for a short while because I'm not bringing her to school, because she goes to a private school and gets private transportation? I haven't flung her out onto the streets and told her to walk for 50 minutes along the motorway. The bus seemed like a reasonable and safe solution, used by many othe reagents I know.

Anyway, its all done now and hopefully won't happen again. Thanks again for all the support everyone.

I take it you've not read the thread 🙄

The OP isn't in the UK so doubt the teacher is a 'little englander'.

You sound like one yourself, though. Just because you have no experience of this set-up or understand the danger of what happened, it's obviously not an issue! 🤨

Oh bless her heart, she must have been so worried. I’ve a just-turned five year old niece and can’t imagine how worried she’d have felt in this situation especially to speak up and shout out when they are so little, it actually upsets me to think about it so I can absolutely 100% say what you did was right and I’d have done the same! I’m pleased the school is taking it seriously. They bus company have a duty of care to the children they are dropping off and picking up. The bus assistant needs to be far more alert and has failed to do the job properly on 2 occasions just with your little one so it’s probably happened before to other children, you’ve done the right thing and big well done to DD for using her voice in this situation, I hope she’s been ok xx

This was nearly a year ago - why repost now? 🤔

Oh sorry!! It came up on my feed 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your response sounds fair to me!