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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child (momentarily) left on school bus

123 replies

Busybus · 23/09/2022 12:22

My 5 year old gets a school bus. It's a private company with a driver and bus assistant. DC started getting the bus at the start of the year. Its so convenient and generally we have had nothing to say about it but good things.

Two weeks ago on the first day back, I went to collect DS from the bus. When they pulled up, the usual children got off and as I waited for my child, the doors closed and the bus drove off. I had to run after the bus shouting at them to stop. The stopped at the bottom of the street and let my child off. No big deal -not great but these things happen. I laughed it off and that was that.

Yesterday, my daughter was upset not long after we got home. She said that in the morning, when they had all got to school, everyone got off the bus except her. She couldn't unbuckle her seatbelt and the bus started to move off, so she shouted 'no, no, no!' so the bus driver would hear her. Luckily he did. Going by what my child said, the bus had started pulling off but hadn't got very far. He unbuckled her seatbelt and helped her off the bus.

When she told me I was a bit annoyed for her but glad she had got off the bus ok. The more and more I thought about it, the more upset I felt. I woke up several times last night thinking about her shouting 'no, no, no!' and how she must have felt.

I spoke to the assistant this morning as I wanted to hear her side of story. My DC tends to be pretty good at remembering things accurately but at the end of the day, she is 5 so it's important to get all the facts. The assistant didn't deny it. In fact, her response was 'yeah but the bus hadn't got very far...I'll keep her beside me today'.

Something about it didn't sit right with me. I told one of the other mums and I ended up getting a bit upset. The other mum reminded me that situations like these can end up tragically and it dawned on me that while my child was OK in the end, who knows what else might have happened, and this doesn't take away from how scared she was.

I then told DC's teacher who took it very seriously and passed it on. I wasn't emotional, just wrote the facts as I had them and explained my concerns. The bus company has been informed and said it won't happen again. I didn't want to make a big deal about it but my instincts are saying that I need to protect my child (and other kids too). However my instinct when it comes to my kids can't always be trusted, as I can be a bit on the over protective side.

I'm picking my child up from the bus soon and I'm dreading seeing the assistant who most likely has been reprimanded for something she didn't seem to think was a big deal. I'm not sure how to handle it. Human error happens, everyone has made mistakes or overlooked things so I don't want heads to roll. I just feel sorry for my little girl and so many different scenarios have gone through my mind.

Yanbu: the bus assistant should have done a head count and final sweep of the bus and not to do so was dangerous. You were right to escalate it.

Yabu: everyone makes mistakes and it was just one of those things, DC was fine and you should have left it at that.

OP posts:

inappropriateraspberry · 23/09/2022 13:00

Does the bus driver and/or assistant not help them get on and off, especially with bags etc?
Hopefully school will flag this with the bus company and they'll be more vigilant.

Original poster

Busybus · 23/09/2022 13:01

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 23/09/2022 12:56

Also, No body is going die by being left on a bus on the school bus run in the UK. The worst that happens is the parent realises the kid is not on the bus rings the school, the school rings the company and the driver or another brings the kid back home safely.

I'm not in the UK actually but didn't put it in the OP as my daughter's fear and the thought of her stuck miles from anywhere was what was upsetting me the most. Luckily it has cooled down a lot where I currently live but it was still extremely hot up until very recently and is still currently reaching the 20s midday.

OP posts:

moonypadfootprongs · 23/09/2022 13:03

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 23/09/2022 12:56

And if it happens first thing in the morning and the child is left on the bus all day? Absolutely it could be fatal! If not it could seriously traumatise the child!

Original poster

Busybus · 23/09/2022 13:05

Also, this happened on the way to school, and if my daughter had not have got off the bus and gone into school, they would have assumed she was off sick and nobody would have been phoning anybody for anything.

OP posts:

moonypadfootprongs · 23/09/2022 13:05

2bazookas · 23/09/2022 12:52

You're totally over-reacting.
There were two mistakes, both were spotted and corrected by the adults responsible and there's been a follow up from the school . No harm done.

Neither incident was corrected by the adults! It was OP who alerted them the first time and her DD the second time! How long would it have been before the people responsible would have noticed!

Original poster

Busybus · 23/09/2022 13:06

moonypadfootprongs · 23/09/2022 13:03

And if it happens first thing in the morning and the child is left on the bus all day? Absolutely it could be fatal! If not it could seriously traumatise the child!

Show quote history

And this is what happened, utterly was first thing in the morning. If she had have stayed on the bus, school would have been no wiser. Who knows where she would have ended up.

OP posts:

ehb102 · 23/09/2022 13:07

No one is going to die being left on a bus if nothing else bad happens.

Bad things do happen. That is what makes tragedies. I can think of three nasty scenarios off the top of my head. That's not paranoia, that's being risk aware.

ChiefFinderOuter · 23/09/2022 13:07

My children have been getting the bus since they were 5. They don’t have an assistant, but if they did, I’d expect them to be doing their job! Ywnbu.

Clymene · 23/09/2022 13:09

2bazookas · 23/09/2022 12:52

You're totally over-reacting.
There were two mistakes, both were spotted and corrected by the adults responsible and there's been a follow up from the school . No harm done.

No they weren't. Neither of them were spotted. Perhaps you should reread the OP.

TinaYouFatLard · 23/09/2022 13:11

You were right to raise it, of course. However it all sounds a bit OTT to me.

TinaYouFatLard · 23/09/2022 13:13

I would be more concerned about the fact that the school do t check in on missing children.

Johnnysgirl · 23/09/2022 13:14

I'd be raising merry hell, tbh. Not worrying about being polite to a numpty who has failed twice (that you know of) to do the job she's tasked with.

WillPowerLite · 23/09/2022 13:15

The bus assistant needs sacking - that's the whole job, making sure the children get safely onto and off of the bus at the correct time and place. And the bus company is honestly not to be trusted. There should be clear procedures in place to make sure this does not happen once, let alone twice.

Speak to the school if the bus is organised by them.

GaspingGekko · 23/09/2022 13:18

OP they absolutely should have procedures in place to prevent this happening.
I would hope, if they are a decent company, that they won't reprimand the assistant, but would rather consider how these failures happened and what they can do to stop them happening again.

I'm in a country where being left on a bus in a morning would mean death for a child - my car is usually over 40C in an afternoon after work. The school bus systems here involve a name badge for each child, tapping in and out for the children and parents can track where the bus is.

Hopefully these events will prompt them to put something in place.

Johnnysgirl · 23/09/2022 13:21

I would hope, if they are a decent company, that they won't reprimand the assistant, but would rather consider how these failures happened and what they can do to stop them happening again.
The assistant not doing their job correctly will be a large part of why the failures happened
Why do you think they shouldn't be reprimanded?

whynotwhatknot · 23/09/2022 13:23

what is this assistant doing if not counting or checking a list just standing there

Novum · 23/09/2022 13:26

I'm wondering what on earth the assistant thinks her job is if it's not to make sure that the right children get off at the right stops, and that the bus is empty after the drop-off at school. It sounds as if she's daydreaming/chatting or otherwise distracted. If the first incident wasn't enough to wake her up, you are absolutely right to complain.

Sarahcoggles · 23/09/2022 13:29

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 23/09/2022 12:56

Jesus do you have no imagination? Do you not think that those scenarios would be absolutely terrifying for a 5 year old? Imagine being frozen in fear and then finding yourself at a bus depo miles away.

OP YANBU. At this age the assistant should be much more aware of what's happening, and should be counting kids on and off, or checking every seat is empty at the school drop off before driving away.

serenghetti2011 · 23/09/2022 13:30

So what if op had been a minute late meeting the bus the first time, she working have known if her child had been let off or not. I would have been upset too. Then the second time, what is the assistant doing if not checking the kids are all ok and making sure everyone gets to school safely? This child is 5!! A tiny primary 1 child who would’ve been frightened to be driven off on a bus, thankfully she did shout out but what if she hadn’t?.

there are lessons to be learned by the assistant and whoever is in charge of transportation of these kids. This time is turned out ok, next time It might not, we don’t want a bad outcome so of course you were correct op. The assistant needs to do their job properly, it’s not hard. Check the bus, make sure all kids get off at correct stops with parent etc I mean it’s not rocket science. Hope your daughter is ok and this teaches them to be more vigilant

Hankunamatata · 23/09/2022 13:32

Surely the assistant should be walking down the bus to check its empty before the bus drives off?

Connie2468 · 23/09/2022 13:36

Your priority is your child, not the assistant's feelings.

From now on the assistant will take extra care with your child, job done.

I would just interact as normal with the assistant. She's not your friend, she just needs to do her job.

C152 · 23/09/2022 13:38

Well, I think you were right to raise your concerns and the bus company should know that this happened. I'm a bit perplexed as to why your daughter can't get off the bus at the correct stop - I know you said she had trouble with the seatbelt, but still...regardless, I guess that's why the company employs an assistant. Don't understand why they didn't see she was struggling and help her. Especially when everyone got off in the morning. Surely when your only job is to make sure kids get on/off the bus safely, you'd notice not everyone got off at school? I'd probably talk to my child about being aware of her surroundings, so she was prepared to get off in time etc., but the bus assistant should be reprimanded/re-trained.

lannistunut · 23/09/2022 13:39

HoppingPavlova · 23/09/2022 12:36

This makes my blood run cold. We have had several deaths in the past year due to kids being left on buses at the end of the run, I am in a hot country though. I may be missing something but I just can’t understand how it’s not standard to do a walk through and check if the bus at the end of the run to check there is no child left on the bus, especially given that (here) if you fuck up a kid dies or if lucky lands in hospital in a very bad way which may or may not end well.

WTF? I have never heard of this and genuinely interested to understand more - do their parents not report them as not being at home?

womaninatightspot · 23/09/2022 13:39

really the bus assistants fault. My kids started getting the bus at 5 too OP so I do understand. We just have a driver no assistant. They have set seats and little ones without an older sibling sit in seats so the driver can see them.

NoParticularPattern · 23/09/2022 13:40

What exactly is the assistant there for if they’re not actually going to assist?! You’re not being unreasonable to report it. Surely at age 5 they count them on/off the bus to make sure that everyone who is supposed to be there is?! If that’s not the job of a teacher at the school then surely to god it’s the job of the assistant?

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