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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that maybe MIL would let me know about plans she is making regarding her son?

65 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 14:18

she has been over today to sit with steve whilst i went out,i had to meet someone at 10.15 so she was going to be here at 10 she wasn't here when i had to leave at 10.30 she was supposed to stay with him until i got back but she didn't.
it is steves birthday tomorrow, steve thinks she was on about having a takeaway here but he doesn't know when, now she knows he has very bad memory loss and confusion and therefore not likely to remember what she has said.
i would like to make plans for steves birthday but as i don't know what she is planning how am i supposed to do so.
i could ring her up but i am annoyed with her right now so i think i had best not ring her.
will go and calm down and eat chocolates.

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 21:30

i wouldn't say she is the mother in law from hell, she just doesn't think things throu, she recently wanted to take steve out for the day to vist her parents at the crem i mean why would a terminally ill bloke want to have a day out to the crem
i know it is her son and there is no way that i push her out but i get upset when she cancels coming to see her son cos she is desparate for a hair cut and other stuff like that.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 24/01/2008 21:34

I've seen you about, LM!
Did she apologise for being late OJ?

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 21:36

no she didn't apologize, i asked her if she would sit with him as i wanted to go out, i only get to go out on my own once a week, steve cant be left as he does dangerous things, i caught him putting the hot water bottle in the grill cos he wanted to warm it up

OP posts:
ladymariner · 24/01/2008 21:37

Hi Chipmonkey, was I ok??? Did I do it right?

chipmonkey · 24/01/2008 21:38

LOL, ladymariner, I thought you were an oldtimer!

ladymariner · 24/01/2008 21:40

Oooh thats good!!Hurrah!

quint · 24/01/2008 21:40

OJ that's terrible! What a great idea for a day out!

Maybe its her way of coping with it, not trying to find an excuse but maybe she feels that if she goes on with her life in a normal way, maybe your DH will too.

Is there anyone else who could give you a break?

fortyplus · 24/01/2008 21:43

ladymariner - I only started messaging oj recently, too... and now she has even seen a pic of me in my swimsuit Believe me - not a pretty sight!

oj I hope we sometimes make you smile on the dark days - I'm often up quite late when not many other people are around (except Kerry of corse).

ladymariner · 24/01/2008 21:48

Hey, I really wouldn't want to inflict a pic of me in a swimsuit on anyone, I've only just got to chat with you guys, I don't want to scare you off already
OJ, I'm sorry if I'm posting stuff thats irrelevant to your OP, But thanks to you all for making me welcome!

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 21:55

oh lady M so you are new, welcome. get yourself a profile so we can have a nosy look at your photos.
you can safely look at my photos none of me in bathers thankfully
you guys keep me smiling.

OP posts:
ladymariner · 24/01/2008 21:58

Going to look really dense here but how do you do a profile?
(ducks then looks up to see if anyone is laughing!)

fortyplus · 24/01/2008 21:59

Thankfully! You mean you didn't like seeing me in my cozzie?!

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 22:02

you looked stunning my dear
you can look at other peoples profiles by clicking on the yellow tag nest to the envelope on the right of persons name.

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 22:04

to make a profile you have to go into my mumsnet at the top of each page

OP posts:
ladymariner · 24/01/2008 22:12

Ok, been and had a look at it, shall set one up.
Without swimsuit pics!!

LilRedWG · 24/01/2008 22:14

Hi - I've lost track of your threads the past few days, but you can run but you can't hide! I'VE FOUND YOU!!!!

I hope tomorrow goes as smoothly for you as it can. Have a lovely birthday tea with Steve and the children and don't let MIL suggest any more outings .

xx

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 22:15

do let us know when you have done it as i like to be nosy look

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 24/01/2008 22:19

i think it will be a mixed emotions sort of day. it was on his birthday last year he was first DX with MS and slow growing tumour, how wrong they were.

OP posts:
ladymariner · 24/01/2008 22:19

Will do!

LilRedWG · 24/01/2008 22:23

Maybe see you around tomorrow then OJ. I'm off to bed now - goodnight! x

WendyWeber · 24/01/2008 22:28

Sorry your MIL is so unhelpful sometimes, oj

So awful though, for all of you, to have to acknowledge that this will probably be Steve's last birthday - she must know, but maybe she is blanking the idea?

Hope you all have a good day on his birthday anyway.

XXX

fortyplus · 24/01/2008 22:59

Oh oj - a slow growing tumour... as you say, how wrong can they be. Maybe they don't give the full bad news as it would make people give up hope? My friend I told you about was told 9 - 18 months and he barely lasted 3. But he had heart failure as well which meant they couldn't treat the tumour properly.

I hope you manage to have a lovely day tomorrow. Lovely? That's probably not the right word - but the sentiment is the same... hope it's as nice for you and Steve (and his mum!) as it possibly can be.

bamamama · 25/01/2008 04:33

OJ, I hope you, Steve and your children have a 'good' day today for Steves birthday (Happy Birthday Steve doesn't seem the right sentiment but you know what I mean ). I hope your MIL isn't too difficult, as someone else said he's her baby so she must be feeling terrible. Some people are just not good with how to practically deal with that though. Anyway, I hope there is enough cake in the house for you all. Thinking of you. x

DutchOma · 25/01/2008 09:08

Have as happy a birthday as possible Steve, OJ and family

triplets · 25/01/2008 09:37

Good morning Oj,
The day is still the same, its Steves birthday, nothing can change that, you are all together and thats what matters.Matthew has not been here for 14 birthdays, but we still do something, I get hurt that the family never send me a card, it would mean so much to me. Its still his special day, I want to have a card on my mantlepiece to say its your birthday, but no-one sends one which hurts me. Just something to mark the day from others. In my heart he has grown up, so is now 29, not 14, I need to believe that. I hope Steve can enjoy his day, God Bless you all today, xxxx