Why do parents let their kids take toys to playgroup?

[Peanutbuttermonster]

Seriously, why?? Toddlers are too young to understand the concept of personal property / ownership, and it makes it really hard to teach them how to share nicely when the other parent turns around and says "Well actually, it is little Felicity's doll..." - I mean, why have you allowed her to bring it to playgroup? Surely it's just asking for trouble? AIBU??

God that sounds annoying. Precious parents thinking their special kid can't be separated from a toy nor learn to share. Then they wonder why it grows up a brat. They probably just do it to enjoy smugly telling other toddlers they can't have the toy.

It’s difficult because mine often wants to show his toys to his friends. We have a rule that if it’s out then everyone can have a turn with it but if he doesn’t want to share then it goes away in the bag. That way I’m not forcing him to share but equally we’re not dangling a toy in front of other children that they can’t play with.

Are we talking about stay and play type things when we say playgroup as opposed to a nursery?

YABU.
“Special toy in their hand” becomes “special toy on the floor” very quickly. Luckily when we went to playgroup my son’s special cuddly toy is of very little interest to other kids because he takes it EVERYWHERE and its rather beat-up. I still tucked it away whenever I saw him lose interest in it, but many children are nervous in a group setting and like the comfort of a familiar toy.

Personally I’m not a fan of making toddlers share anyway. They don’t really have the capacity for it, and while we can stress that it’s NICE to share - I think acting like it’s mandatory only causes problems.

I've got late teens so past this stage but honestly, you would like it done one way, because it suits your child and your parenting style, others like it done a different way for the same reasons. There is no right and wrong and one very important thing to remember and teach our child is that in this type of setting everyone is equal and opinions equally valid.
You can't control other people!
Even if you'd like to, and the things they do piss you off you have to find a way to do what pleases you, without trying to change others.
If you continue like this you'll be the parent who is forever complaining that other parents -should- do this or that type of party, invite or not invite on play dates etc.

YANBU - any toy taken into a shared play group needs to be shared - my son probably wouldn't want to share his toy and so he can't take it. He'd also likely be upset if it got lost or broken which is highly likely. It only took one day of explaining to him that he needs to leave his toy/s in the car before he accepted it.

You know what, 3 year olds are going to find something to have the occasional tantrum about anyway, and no outing is going to be a stress-free, sit around and drink a cup of tea without keeping an eye on what little Timmy is up to and possibly intervening kind of situation. Them's the breaks.

Personal toys can create conflict, and the parent who allowed the toy to be brought should be keeping an eye out to try and reduce that potential conflict. But it's really not unreasonable for you to also be keeping an eye on your child and intervening with valuable life lessons about "Sorry, that one is special to someone else, look here's another thing" occasionally.

Yanbu

OP I agree. I’ve always made my DS keep his toys in the car for this exact reason. I tell him if he wants to take it in the other children will want to play with it. We now “keep it safe” in the car. It’s taken sometime and tantrums but he understands now why we don’t take them in.

I've also been a big shrugger, when kids have gone, "X is playing with the Y! I want to play with it!"
My response has pretty much always been, "Well, X is still playing with it. You'll have to wait until he/she is done. But you could try asking X if you can play together."

I've never been a fan of "you must share!" Why should they?

YANBU. Yeah kids this age can't be expected to share but equally kids this age can't be expected to know about personal property. So that's why rules exist about parents making sure their kids don't bring in personal property. I guess if you want to join in with a group then you should respect the rules set by those who have made the effort to put on a playgroup. You might have to suffer a tantrum from your child when you make them leave their toy

Perfectly fine if the child keeps the toy but if it ends up in the pile of toys but you get jumped on for touching it that's annoying. Surely they are risking it getting ridied away and lost if they aren't holding onto it. Still, I couldn't get too het up about it.

What gave me the absolute rage in playgroup was when parents would ignore the no food/drink in the equipment rule and send little Jimmy into the ball pool/mini soft play with a juice carton in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Absolute bastards!

Noviembre, talk about overreaction, toddler has attachment toy, is attached to it and the only possible course of action is to take it away from them in a casual, informal playgroup setting as otherwise they will become a brat!?? Load of crap. You should chill out and teach them to not care about stuff that doesn't matter.