OK. So I'm a housework slut, as evidenced today by the way I didn't know how to get the flex out of the (5+ year old) vacuum cleaner: had to google the maker's instructions as I have no idea where DH put our copy. He does what vacuuming gets done, which is why once it was plugged in & switched on I had to search the house for the stiff hosey bit with a brush on it that slots on the end of the bendy hose.
What sort of sick !"£$%^&* stores the brushy bit in one place & the main body in another room entirely? What's THAT about?
Anyway. Once it was assembled I set to - & found that the vc just moves stuff around; so now I have a neat pile of scrumpled hair in one place, craft detritus (miniscule pompoms, I think) in another, etc. WTF is going on? I checked the instructions & they don't seem to cover this. No lights on the vc are flickering, so I guess the bag isn't full - that's how the old one used to speak to us. I extracted a long lump of hair & fluff from the hole in the brushy bit, but still no luck.
See, this is why I don't do hoovering. It's so bloody dispiriting. It never comes up to my expectations. Polishing furniture, dusting ornaments, cleaning windows, even cleaning toilets: fine. Lovely to see them sparkle. Vacuum cleaners are the work of the devil.