To think some kids have been raised by idiots and act just like them **Title edited by MNHQ**

[WTFsmh12]

After a difficult time in secondary school thanks to bullies. Ds starts college hoping for a fresh start and within weeks the name calling starts again but by complete strangers! Not just names like tramp or scruff- but real sick ones like paedo and nonce and I am perplexed as to why other kids/young adults feel it’s ok to say this stuff? He struggles with anxiety and self esteem issues and over last 3 months had been at rock bottom. I pray he gets the confidence to give them some choice words back but he’s still so stressed. He has a nice group of friends and has said for the most part the people he has talked to ,majority have been so kind and nice. My blood is boiling , When will these idiots grow up?

No replies but at least you have got so far 100 pc YANBU!

In my line of work it is completely unacceptable to call people names, you would be disciplined/fired, and I have brought up my dc so far to be nice to other people, all the time, even if they are not nice to you, partly because that is the right thing to do, it is pretty awful to be bullied day after day, but partly also because it makes for a happier life for oneself too.

I have realised that a lot of parents don't agree with that though. I have heard one parent saying that their dc doesn't have to be friends with anyone and they think that being mean to anyone not their friend is normal. Until I had dc I had no opinions on this but I now think that it is definitely the parents!

I hope your dc can ignore it and can surround themselves with a crowd of people they like!

Where on earth is this coming from?!

If two separate groups of people have independently started calling your son a paedo, is there something going on that's triggering this? I don't mean that in a victim-blaming way, at all, but it's quite an extreme insult to throw at someone you've just met out of the blue - is there an online element to this? How much oversight do you have over your son's SM?

How is your son doing now op? I can't disagree with your statement

I don't think there has to be any basis for the names. They might have just spotted op's son is shy, or quirky or something and see him as an easy target. These will be kids who haven't been brought up to be kind and empathetic, but kids with parents who set a terrible example.

Yep it's not a big stretch to realise shitty parents raise shitty children .

Your title is 100% YANBU !!

Weird sense of entitlement, arrogance and plain stupidity in some children comes straight from parents.

Oh yeah I completely agree that some people just see easy targets - it's the use of the words "paedo" and "nonce" that is especially concerning to me, especially if this is abuse that's come from two separate groups. It would make me concerned that there's either something going on in OP's son's life, IE a friendship with a younger person that's being misconstrued, or there's a concerted, joined-up smear campaign going on, which often happens online and can follow kids from school to school.

I disagree. I think those names are just more hurtful and horrible than many others. It's like using the term 'gay' as abuse when I was at school (and unfortunately still now according to my teen). I hope things get better for your DS.

@MolliciousIntent I agree. Can understand the OP but the name calling seems very similar but it's a new place. Seems strange

It doesnt make sense to me that a child has been called the same words in two different settings.

Unfortunately I think there is something triggering this. If you could find out what it is it might help.

Anyway I know this is an old thread. I hope things have settled down by now.

Sorry I didn't see the date, it appeared on my MN feed "similar threads" for today. Hope your dc is doing okay now.

I didn't think the op was saying that the same words were following her dc she was giving examples of recent words with the older kids.

YANBU
Now wait for „be kind” brigade and all excuses towards pepetrators.

Sick of frequent meeting rude and entitled people whether they are adults or kids.

Encountered a shouted exchange between a lone boy (11ish at a guess) and his ‘mates’ on the other side of the road recently. It was a variation of ‘we’re with <girl name> and you fancy her’ but for these kids descended quickly into ‘you fancy <girl name> but she’s a rapist and a paedo so you’re a sick fuck’ ?!?!?
Hope your son is ok - some kids seem to have no idea of normal behaviour

So sorry your ds is experiencing this

Is there anyone there who is dealing with the bullies

Who the actual fuck is voting YABU?!

Im so sorry he’s going through this OP, you’d think bullying would be left behind at school.

It’s controversial to say but I agree with you - too many scumbags are having kids who in turn behave like scumbags. And the world falls over themselves to excuse them or diagnose them with something or other

I think kids are just getting worse generally in all respects unless I have a short memory. My 17 year old dd cleans at her school. Kids are taking food into the toilets to eat which in itself is gross but then they do thing like shove a load of chips down the toilet and then others piss on top of it. Yesterday there was a whole carton of curry splattered all over the floor and just left for someone else ( my dd) to clean up. Period blood smeared on toilet doors is a regular occurence. last week I was walking my dogs in a small wood quite close to her school and came across 2 kids in school uniform having sex at 3.30 in the afternoon. I now don't feel I can even walk my dogs there anymore. I have brought up 4 kids but if I thought they were name calling anyone or behaving like the examples I've given I would be mortified.

hopefully they will grow up, many won’t I think.

I’ve been looking around colleges with my 15yr. I was shocked at the behaviour at 4 out of 6 of them. One in particular saw students running around the canteen which was open plan. This was next to where the tables for the reception bit for yr 10 pupils and family members checked in. The students were running around calling each other cu**s. Staff did nothing.

Two colleges appeared to pick the worse students to show yr 10s around. They answered their phones were bored and sully. It was awful so I’m not surprised by your sons experience sadly. The students have to be in college or work. Better to doss at college with your mates then be at work.

Im worried for my son, he will struggle too.

Op didn't say that he was being called a peado or nonce at school as well as college, just that he was bullied at school as well as being bullied again now

Not saying it’s right but among teenages(boys) these words are used all of the time. My step son works in infant education. He gets called it by his “mates” and just laughs. I find it highly offensive. But then the C word is used a lot more than my generation and the word for a female dog is now just thrown around by girls as a sign of affection. Awful.

Paedo is used because it's upsetting. It's a go to, easy insult. Doesn't mean anything about your son, it's not a thoughtful comment on him. It's often used to attack boys who are a bit quieter or geekier because it's embarrassing and upsetting.

If two separate groups of people have independently started calling your son a paedo, is there something going on

Kids just pick the most offensive and extreme insults for sheer shock factor. I'm a teacher. It's not unusual, unfortunately.

I’d be looking at why these are the insults being used against my child to be honest.

Is there something about him that gives him a ‘look’

Before I’m jumped on I work with high risk sexual offenders and 99% of the time they look like one, we have a game at work of guess the offence and myself and colleagues have extremely high rates of accuracy with the sexual offenders!

YANBU. Many people aren't fit to raise kids these days, have not the slightest sense of responsibility, common sense, respect etc etc.

I had a boy in my class once who used to stand at the fence and shout abuse at the adults with learning difficulties who were walking (with their chaperones) along the street to the community centre. Apparently it was what his parents always did for a laugh. Charming.