To think some kids have been raised by idiots and act just like them **Title edited by MNHQ**

[WTFsmh12]

After a difficult time in secondary school thanks to bullies. Ds starts college hoping for a fresh start and within weeks the name calling starts again but by complete strangers! Not just names like tramp or scruff- but real sick ones like paedo and nonce and I am perplexed as to why other kids/young adults feel it’s ok to say this stuff? He struggles with anxiety and self esteem issues and over last 3 months had been at rock bottom. I pray he gets the confidence to give them some choice words back but he’s still so stressed. He has a nice group of friends and has said for the most part the people he has talked to ,majority have been so kind and nice. My blood is boiling , When will these idiots grow up?

Bullshit

What a disgusting way to behave !

I don’t know many who work in the prison service who can’t with a very high degree of accuracy guess the crime from the face. It’s a very common pastime!

My Dd is 11 and today some girls (15 ish) told her she’s fat and ugly and should just jump in the road and kill herself.

I’m happy to be proved wrong but I’ve a feeling the girl who said that will be vile well into adulthood. (For info, Dd is very slim with long blond hair and I think beautiful)

That's so horrible

Behaviour breeds behaviour unfortunately OP

Probably people who've dragged up the sort of kids who call nice kids vile names are the minority voting YABU

It's really not, actually. I know a few people who work with serious offenders and they all say how once you know what you're looking for you can spot them a mile away. There is 100% a 'look' to sexual predators.

Thank you for all your replies ,good ones and the ones not so helpful. so it’s been a good while since I posted this , and luckily things have settled down. Turns out that the complete strangers just happened to be seen hanging with a person from the secondary school a few days later who went to the same college, he’s become a bit stronger mentally thanks to some work on his mental health and no longer cares about these idiots shouting . He knows that the person is obviously just trying to hurt his feelings to make themselves feel better. Obviously I was so angry when I posted it. @Tundrawave my son was one of the first to grow facial hair in his year and was name called nonce and paedo from that, never mind the first induction day in year 6 he was called a paedo from another kid from a completely different school who he’d never even met before. Maybe he had ‘the look’ then too at 11 smh. When the child was pulled aside and spoken to by a teacher turns out He didn’t even know what it meant .Kids can be hugely offensive and will just say anything to get a reaction. Especially if they take a dislike to someone different, my son has recently been told he had autistic tendencies in his behaviours so maybe that’s why he’s been picked on - cos he’s different - it’s Brutal . They just don’t realise the effect it has all round. Unfortunately these are the kids that will grow up into men that will open their mouth at someone in a bar and say something they shouldn’t and get knocked out ,that’s when they’ll learn maybe? Who knows. I’ll just take pride in knowing I’m raising my boys to be polite and respectful , shame others can’t do the same. Apologies if am rambling ,it’s late . Enjoy your Christmas all x

I work for a local authority as a behaviour as a School Improvement Consultant- I support Heads in challenging circumstances eg they have taken over a weak school, I work on behaviour support across the LA - with schools, services and families.
My DH is a Head in a secondary school in a neighbouring LA.
There is no doubt that things are very hard at the moment in many secondary schools.
At the moment I work with two schools in particular which are struggling with behaviour. In both schools there is a core group in each year group who are exactly as OP describes.
Last week, in one school, a group of 4 x 14 year old boys boys went into the toilets, shit in the wash basins, wiped it on the walls and wrenched basins off the walls and smashed up toilet bowls causing a flood. No one would name them but a CCTV camera caught them on the corridor heading into the toilets and then leaving and they admitted it. Not a single one of their parents was supportive of the school. 2 of their fathers were very aggressive verbally to the Head and me. One mother never turned up to the meeting and spoke to us once on the phone, cut us off and would not answer the phone again and the other one's mum sat in the meeting saying the school picks on him.
In the other school a group of Y10 girls are wreaking havoc in lessons with absolutely defiant behaviour and a group of Y7 boys are almost running the staff ragged with outrageous behaviour- regularly saying to male staff 'D'you want to suck my dick?', making sexual remarks about female staff, throwing things at staff, being verbally abusive to other children with name-calling, refusing outright to do as they are asked.

In almost every instance they come from families where there is a history of poorly behaved children from the family, they are known to social services, attended/have attended more than one primary/secondary school locally because of exclusion, are known to local police, have parents unsupportive of the school and other services, often no father involved, problems in school with behaviour started in primary school. These families consume resources and support services.
It's horrible being a child that comes to the attention of these children because they will pick on other children usually using awful language, humiliating them, labelling them.
The issue is not, in its roots, from the school but they are facing the effects of it. The issue is in society.

I can’t believe that no one has picked up the hugely offensive disability slur word that you have used in your title! You complain that other people are calling your young person names but you are using a massively offensive word to criticise them. Pots, kettle, black. Signed, the parent of a very disabled child.

@EmmatheStageRat The dictionary doesn’t support you if you mean the word moron.

Right back at you:

www.globaldownsyndrome.org/about-down-syndrome/words-can-hurt/

medium.com/@elizabeth_87041/idiot-moron-freak-how-to-not-insult-disabled-people-ef70856b6679

And the above, just to give the opinion of a disabled person.

I’ve heard this word all my life and never ever to refer to a disabled person. We need a word to describe the awful people in society and this is what people use. How anyone with a disabled dc would read the op title and think “ah she’s referring to me and my disabled dc” is beyond me. Please stop looking to be offended and inflicting restrictions on language and instead appreciate the English language has many nuances and the definition used in this instant isn’t one for you to be offended by.

Yes I agree, these words should not be used to describe disabled people… and they’ve not been. The op was using the word appropriately to describe someone who is making bad choices that impact on others with no regard of others.

My god, literally dont you know any kids?

They really dont need a reason to use words like that

To counter, I’ve heard the ‘n’ word used to describe people of colour a lot of my life. Everyone knows this word is offensive now.

For your information, the word ‘moron’ was coined by a eugenicist to describe people of low intellectual capacity. It IS an offensive word in the world of disability.

If you want to talk about who are anti-social, then why not use that terminology? Rather than a disability slur word?

I'm married to a teacher. Asked him, and he said that he very rarely hears language like that from students at his school. Generally speaking those aren't words used casually.

What school is this?

Local comp in a midsized town.

Local comp in a midsized town

My daughter has been called pedo several times at secondary for being gay.

I have been referred to as a peado by a group of kids on two occasions, the insults were directed to DS (as in, your mums a peado) - apparently I'm also incest. Some kids are dragged up and use the most offensive, disgusting language they can think of for shits and giggles, there's often no more to it than that. I'm surprised some posters feel OPs child must look a certain way or be doing something to attracted those kinds of insults, sounds like victim blaming to me - along the lines of "well, what was she wearing".

As for the posters insisting you can tell a sex offender just by looking at them, what an absolute load of shite and that has been disproved so many times (dig up the studies yourself). It harks back to the times of Cesare Lombroso whose theories have been rubbished many times over. If we could tell just by looking at someone then the cases of abuse would be significantly lower because these people wouldn't be employed to look after children, parents wouldn't let certain families look after their kids etc Aside from being completely ignorant it's also dangerous thinking. Imagine believing for one minute you could truly identify criminals just from their appearance, bonkers, we don't need the police or the judicial system then? We can just get you and your colleagues to come along and point out all the guilty ones 🙄

Generally speaking those aren't words used casually. In his experience perhaps but spend 30 minutes listening to a bunch of 12 and 13 year old boys in the area I live on Xbox and it would make your ears bleed with the shit they come out with.