To think I'm not mental?

[Maybemental123]

I was chatting to my DH today about an "episode" I had the other day. I wouldn't call it "normal" but I also don't think it means I have some sort of disorder. Basically I had a very vivid imagination episode where I could see souls ascending to heaven. My DH said it was definitely not normal, but also no need to be concerned.

I suppose that’s quite hard to police though. If it came to being in an accident op could easily lie and say ‘it just happened out of the blue, I couldn’t believe it, I’ve never had a hallucination before.’ Like you could just lie and say this is the first time.

Well exactly
but that’s for the DVLA to solve

In yen meantime we just hope when when someone has insight in to how their migraines would render them unable to drive… they report themselves

@Kanaloa It is hard to police but that's the legislation nevertheless. I should think if someone caused a serious collision because of an illness, the insurance company or police could take one look at their medical records and see they weren't fit to drive. Lorry drivers are supposed to inform the DVLA and employers about sleep apnoea because it can lead to excessive sleepiness and blackouts. Sadly people have lost their lives because some don't want to report it and lose work temporarily.

Yes of course I’m not saying people should lie and just drive around merrily. It was just an observation that it must be tricky because it’s one of those laws/guidelines that requires people to use their own morality to police it, because it could be really easy to lie around. Not that I would be driving if I was disrupted by watching the souls of the departed. I’d be seriously freaked out!

😂You and me both!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia

Sounds like it is this. A neurological, rather than psychiatric, condition. The fact you could reproduce it with the same music suggests that anyway.

OP, go to the GP! I think it's likely related to your migraines, but could be a mini stroke or some other neurological thing. My mum saw some weird stuff following a mini stroke!

Exactly @mustbetheseasonofthewitch ! I was able to reproduce it, so that trumps the hallucination element and given its music related ir does point to synesthesia. The migraines are an unrelated event that has been diagnosed.

It is a morality question, indeed. What would Saint Theresa of Avila do?

Synaesthesia sounds really interesting, I don't know much about the condition but it might be that if you only see these things while listening to music. I found an quick online test:

exceptionalindividuals.com/candidates/neurodiversity-resources/neurodiversity-quizzes/synesthesia-quiz-test

An example from someone with synaesthesia is, "The name 'Martin' has the tastes and texture of a warm bakewell tart." Wow, I feel like I'm missing out!

So when I was little, numbers did have genders and roles (and colours attached to them) I would normally have a storyline attached to each of them. I remember 2 was female, 4 was a princess that wore pink and such... I grew out of it.

With music, I can separate the different layers of a song, and can create different projections in my head, when I was a teenager I enjoyed doing that. You could say, that whatever I imagined created an extra "visual" layer".

In the past when I've been very happy I could "paint with colours" and see the colours as another translucent layer.

Same when I've been very much into something I'm reading, I can see the letters glow and almost float.

Whenever I'm really happy with my DH, I can see both of us in a field, and I can feel the breeze, the grass, the flowers.

All of this is pleasant and can block it out if I want to. I've always thought it was just having a very vivid imagination, as I can trigger it too (at least the music related ones).

Lovely 💖you sound very creative. Best get it checked out just in case though and mention what you think it might be.

This soul episode got triggered by a song, and would go away if I changed song.

This is classic sound/vision synaesthesia. I have it too. It's rarer than word/colour synaesthesia, though it sounds as though you may have that too, as well as perhaps some other variants,@Maybemental123.

If you have concerns about its normality, you might seek out a university department of neuropsychology or neurophysiology where someone is doing current research into it and see if you can take part. Their fascination with what your brain is doing (and tbh your brain does sound particularly special) will be tempered with an awareness of when to investigate medically. You'll probably also learn a lot more about ways it affects you that weren't previously aware of.

Thanks @AllNightDiner I've already been accepted as a research subject at UCL so I might as well as if I can be referred to either of the departments you've suggested.

Who referred you?

And what is the subject of the research?

I contacted the professor myself. I have a very rare genetic blood condition.

I've got all my documentation it arrived a couple of weeks ago :)

So the research is about the rare blood condition rather than the visions?

Yes, it's for the blood condition, but as I have neurological symptoms I'm seeing a neurologist as part of the interdisciplinary team (or at least that's part of the plan) so I can ask then.

The research I took part in was at the University of Sussex. There still seems to be work going on there: https://www.sussex.ac.uk/synaesthesia/

Also possibly somehing being done currently at Brunel: http://people.brunel.ac.uk/~systnns/synaesthesia_RESEARCH.html

This resource covers non-UK research: https://www.thesynesthesiatree.com/2021/04/seeking-research-participants.html

Initial contacts all seem to be online, but with the UoS research, for example, they then contacted me based on my online questionnaires/tasks to invite me to participate in person. It was quite a while ago, so what they're specifically looking at/for may have changed, but it was very in-depth and closely monitored, and I found it a very worthwhile experience (I thought I was just being dramatic and imagining it until then).

All of that said, if you have a rare genetic disorder, it makes sense to be circumspect about your symptoms/experiences and get things checked out medically as well. My impression from how you've described it is that you're experiencing a quite full-on type of synaesthesia but I'm really no expert.

Thank you @AllNightDiner ! Yes I want to get my health sorted out first :) There's only 200 diagnosed cases of my condition (worldwide) but who knows, maybe the lack of oxygen rewired my brain?