This doesn’t feel natural

[PoorPaddington]

Dropping Dd, 4 at pre school and her crying and wanting to be home with me and me making her go, when she could be at hone with me.
Why doesn’t this feel natural? Do we make our little ones part too soon from us?
Please someone remind me of the benefits of this and why I’m doing it if I don’t have to 🤷🏻‍♀️

My DD2 hated pre school so I very rarely sent her. We had a lovely time at home and she had no problems whatsoever settling into school.

I think she was just too young for pre school, she wasn't ready to go.

OP, I could have written your post when my eldest started pre-school. I found the tears and cries of "mummy come back!" at the gate so heartbreaking, I would be counting down the hours until I could go and pick her up. I felt so guilty I almost pulled her out. I am SO glad that I didn't!

It took her a while to adjust but once she did DD absolutely loved pre-school and would be so excited to go every day and to tell us about everything she'd done when she came home. She is 8 years old now and still talks about trips, special events and activities she remembers from pre-school! She got so much out of it.

They did a lot of work on getting the DC ready for primary school, so by the time it came to it she was such a confident little thing, it didn't bother her at all starting school. I braced myself for tears and staff having to peel her off me at the gate but it just never happened. She saw it as a big adventure but not a massive adjustment as she was so well prepared for it and already used to some of the routines and structure from pre-school. She still loves school now. It helped that she had made friends at pre-school who went up to the same primary school so she already knew a couple of familiar faces.

My youngest skipped through the gates of the same preschool on his first day without so much as a backward glance which just goes to show they're all different and it's not necessarily a reflection on the pre-school itself or how they're parented. My 8 year old loves coming with me to pick her brother up because the staff there still remember her fondly and make a big fuss of her.

Ultimately its your decision and no one else can tell you what's right for your own child. But personally I'm really glad we stuck it out and I firmly believe that if we hadn't, we'd just have been storing up problems for the start of School.

How is she today? There are some comments on here that a bit deep. All I can say is it may take a a few days, a few weeks to settle in and thats okay. Just work at it.

I don't think you should feel guilty.

I said the claim you made The later you leave this the harder it gets is what people say when they feel guilty.

And it's a claim without any rationale.

@GabriellaMontez

You’re basically landing in the same place aren’t you though?

You are saying that the argument for encouraging children to find some independence from their immediate families is driven by working mother guilt.

In spite of the evidence that it is actually supportive for children.

So thanks for the semi climb down.

Those saying 4 is too young, my son just plays all day... what actually is the issue?

He showed me his downward dog and sang a song about a bumble bee... how is a 4 year old too young for that?

Evidence that it is supportive for the children

Supportive of what? Which children? What childcare?

There is a huge spectrum.

If you're happy with the Evidence you have no need to feel guilty.

Still no rationale for your claim that The later you leave this the harder it gets why do you tell yourself and others that? Is it guilt ?

If the OP has never even left her DD with her own father ... how on earth would the DD cope if mum is rushed to hospital or worse? When my DS was younger I was determined not to be over protective... of course his own father could look after him and he got used to spending time with friends, family (no, they weren't nearby but whenever they came to visit), nursery people etc etc. So many mothers seem to want to be a martyr to their DC, it really isn't healthy to be over protective.

@Ragwort The op didn’t say she hasn’t ever not left her Dd with her Dh 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Ragwort it wasn't op who hasn't left her kid with her husband it's another poster called @Staters

I think helping children to build resilience is a good idea. However, all of my friends and family work so their children have been with a mixture of nursery and grandparents from a very young age so preschool was the natural next step.