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AIBU?

To think my new boss is going to be a nightmare

78 replies

Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 08:49

Full disclosure, I've already been told by DH that I'm being unreasonable – but first off he seems blissfully unaware of the way people can stealth attack. Also I am probably extra sensitive to this as I've experienced workplace bullying many years ago and vowed never to let it happen again.

So, I've recently returned from maternity leave for a job a really like, let's call it glass blowing. It's an online company so I've never met my colleagues but the team has great dynamics and is very progressive in their approach, eg take as much sick leave as you need, we're here to support your learning etc etc

While I was away the team had a big restructuring and my boss who I really liked hired some middle managers, I guess to lighten her own load, which is fine. I met my new 'middle' boss on a virtual KIT day, and although she said the right things unfortunately I got really fake vibes from her tbh, you know when someone is forcing a smile. (Perhaps she was nervous then, but she's well into the job now and still doing her patronising smile)

She is inexperienced when it comes to glass blowing, but she 'loves vases' and has lots of ideas on how to improve our glass blowing services. She has 10 years management experience in selling ceramics, I have 10 years experience in making glass. She is leading our team in how to make and sell glass vases.

I'm honestly not bothered that I was technically 'overlooked' for the promotion while on maternity as i expressed previously that team management is not an area i want to be in, and I accept she has more direct experience as a sales manager. However she has no direct experience in our very niche industry and since returning she is zeroing in on me and my glass making ability, in quite a negative way.

Lots of negative critiques, hmmming and eyebrow raising. We are both equally experienced career wise, just in very different areas. And I feel annoyed that she's trying to make big changes in areas she currently has no experience in. (This isnt a perfect analogy btw, but I've made it now lol)

For context my other boss loves the way i make glass vases, and they are selling well. Of course, I understand her role is to help us scale and grow, but I feel like she is barking orders just for the sake of it and to mark her territory as "the new boss". "Lets change all the vases from green to pink" "lets start blowing glass the way i like" etc

The addition of this one person has changed the team dynamic already, we cant discuss it really because its all online and has a paper trail but I can tell that others aren't impressed with her management either. My old boss was very supportive and lead from the front "lets make glass together, or, that batch didn't sell well how can we improve for next time etc" New boss is more "I don't like that vase, you need to come up with something else" Just a very different management approach.

For even more context, my new boss is good friends with my old boss. So even if she was unsuitable, she's not going anywhere. I don't want to quit this job because of one person, but I think she has a superiority complex where she has no respect for the people 'beneath her' and I'm feeling like it's only going to get worse. It's already far less enjoyable being here. I am aware that these feelings are heightened because I'm not long returning from mat leave.

AIBU (probably) but how do I approach this situation?

OP posts:
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MzHz · 21/09/2022 12:35

You have had some great advice @Cantbebotheredanymore , @activediscussions in particular

i can add nothing of value, but I wanted to post to commend you on your outstanding commitment to your analogy! 🤣😂

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activediscussions · 21/09/2022 12:49

Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 17:24

Thank you, this is really good advice!

You are welcome! :)

I've also been bullied in a previous job and so your comment about your DH saying we may be more sensitive to negative comments got me thinking.

He is right. However those experiences have also made us more aware of people and bullies will have standard tendencies we can pick up on sooner than others may. Where there is smoke there is fire after all.

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Cowhen · 21/09/2022 13:19

Agree with PP that you should document your reservations to her but ultimately follow what she wants.
That's annoying, though, as you previously liked the job.

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