To think my new boss is going to be a nightmare

[Cantbebotheredanymore]

Full disclosure, I've already been told by DH that I'm being unreasonable – but first off he seems blissfully unaware of the way people can stealth attack. Also I am probably extra sensitive to this as I've experienced workplace bullying many years ago and vowed never to let it happen again.

So, I've recently returned from maternity leave for a job a really like, let's call it glass blowing. It's an online company so I've never met my colleagues but the team has great dynamics and is very progressive in their approach, eg take as much sick leave as you need, we're here to support your learning etc etc

While I was away the team had a big restructuring and my boss who I really liked hired some middle managers, I guess to lighten her own load, which is fine. I met my new 'middle' boss on a virtual KIT day, and although she said the right things unfortunately I got really fake vibes from her tbh, you know when someone is forcing a smile. (Perhaps she was nervous then, but she's well into the job now and still doing her patronising smile)

She is inexperienced when it comes to glass blowing, but she 'loves vases' and has lots of ideas on how to improve our glass blowing services. She has 10 years management experience in selling ceramics, I have 10 years experience in making glass. She is leading our team in how to make and sell glass vases.

I'm honestly not bothered that I was technically 'overlooked' for the promotion while on maternity as i expressed previously that team management is not an area i want to be in, and I accept she has more direct experience as a sales manager. However she has no direct experience in our very niche industry and since returning she is zeroing in on me and my glass making ability, in quite a negative way.

Lots of negative critiques, hmmming and eyebrow raising. We are both equally experienced career wise, just in very different areas. And I feel annoyed that she's trying to make big changes in areas she currently has no experience in. (This isnt a perfect analogy btw, but I've made it now lol)

For context my other boss loves the way i make glass vases, and they are selling well. Of course, I understand her role is to help us scale and grow, but I feel like she is barking orders just for the sake of it and to mark her territory as "the new boss". "Lets change all the vases from green to pink" "lets start blowing glass the way i like" etc

The addition of this one person has changed the team dynamic already, we cant discuss it really because its all online and has a paper trail but I can tell that others aren't impressed with her management either. My old boss was very supportive and lead from the front "lets make glass together, or, that batch didn't sell well how can we improve for next time etc" New boss is more "I don't like that vase, you need to come up with something else" Just a very different management approach.

For even more context, my new boss is good friends with my old boss. So even if she was unsuitable, she's not going anywhere. I don't want to quit this job because of one person, but I think she has a superiority complex where she has no respect for the people 'beneath her' and I'm feeling like it's only going to get worse. It's already far less enjoyable being here. I am aware that these feelings are heightened because I'm not long returning from mat leave.

AIBU (probably) but how do I approach this situation?

[AlisonDonut]

@Cantbebotheredanymore

Glass blowers make up 15% of the company, its a wider company which sells flowers and vases together. Most people are concerned with the flower aspect, as it's the big and showy part, but glass blowers are a steady and specialist production line. If we are doing our job well, no one notices. If we do it badly, everyone can see our wonky vases lol.

While I was gone, the other glass blowers had to work twice as hard to make up for me not being there, as I wasn't back filled. If I handed in my notice, they would eventually find someone but this glass is a rare type of glass that very few people know how to manage. I reckon it would take 6 months+ to find a suitable replacement. This is probably why I wasn't backfilled on mat leave.

I reckon this is also why new boss has no experience in glass blowing, but old boss thinks she's an effective manager as she was in previous company they worked in. But they used to sell ceramics, a much more popular area that new boss knows very well. Now shes in glass, she is pissing in wind.

How easy will it be to show that her decisions are making the vases wonky, or unsellable, or opaque, and thus reverse her decisions?

[Doingprettywellthanks]

@AlisonDonut

How easy will it be to show that her decisions are making the vases wonky, or unsellable, or opaque, and thus reverse her decisions?

That will be very very swift and will come from customers

[Doingprettywellthanks]

No complaints from customers
no decrease in sales
No evidence of a problem

simple as that

[Changechangychange]

@Doingprettywellthanks

That is not a management approach

that is an approach adopted by a somewhat inept business

it doesn’t exist as “an approach”.

Side-track, but it’s the “Cabinet Responsibility” model. You can disagree while the policy is being made, and in private, but in public you support the team decision.

Many companies have this approach - you can complain and protest during the planning stage, but once you are into the build phase you need everyone committed to the project, not sniping from the sidelines that they think this is stupid.

[Changechangychange]

And OP, I’d be job hunting. There’s a saying: People don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad managers. And it sounds like you have a spectacularly bad manager on your hands.

[WeepingSomnambulist]

@Doingprettywellthanks

That is not a management approach

that is an approach adopted by a somewhat inept business

it doesn’t exist as “an approach”.

It's a really common approach.
You have the discussion and planning stage where you get to air your grievances and give your ideas. Then a plan is set and everyone is given the brief and that's it. You commit and do the job. You dont complain all the way through. The approach has been agreed so you commit to it.

[Doingprettywellthanks]

@WeepingSomnambulist

It's a really common approach.
You have the discussion and planning stage where you get to air your grievances and give your ideas. Then a plan is set and everyone is given the brief and that's it. You commit and do the job. You dont complain all the way through. The approach has been agreed so you commit to it.

Yes I know

but concerns are addressed in the process. The op said that concerns aren’t addressed in discussions.

[Cantbebotheredanymore]

@Changechangychange

And OP, I’d be job hunting. There’s a saying: People don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad managers. And it sounds like you have a spectacularly bad manager on your hands.

Thanks - I'm putting the feelers out, my gut instinct is that the situation isn't going to resolve which is a shame.

[Cantbebotheredanymore]

@AlisonDonut

How easy will it be to show that her decisions are making the vases wonky, or unsellable, or opaque, and thus reverse her decisions?

Unfortunately it will be a while before it visibly impacts the business, right now it just affects productivity (which one could one could argue we solve by 'working harder' instead of smarter like we did previous) so we are going along with something that is eventually going to come back and bite us.

I don't think I'll find "I told you so" very satisfying either, because when we get to that point, I'm sure it will be on the glass blowers to fix the mess we're getting ourselves into.

[Doingprettywellthanks]

Curious why wonky and faulty vases wouldn’t be picked up by customers and fed back to the company?

[TokyoTen]

I think you need to give the new manager a little more time, you've only had 1 Zoom meeting after all! Plus remember that someone who is a specialist in related areas may well be able to bring new principles/thoughts to what you do and improve it even further.

Sorry OP you sound like you are resisting change for the sake of it rather than to be constructive.

[DashboardConfessional]

@TokyoTen

I think you need to give the new manager a little more time, you've only had 1 Zoom meeting after all! Plus remember that someone who is a specialist in related areas may well be able to bring new principles/thoughts to what you do and improve it even further.

Sorry OP you sound like you are resisting change for the sake of it rather than to be constructive.

She has worked with the new manager for 2 months!

[WeepingSomnambulist]

@Doingprettywellthanks

Curious why wonky and faulty vases wouldn’t be picked up by customers and fed back to the company?

Because they arent actually glass blowers making vases. That's an analogy.

Whatever it is that they actually do is a process which will take a while for the impact to show. They've probably got a stock/designs/whatever stockpiled/ready to use and the longer processing time caused by the new manager wont show up because they'll need to use up the current back stock. It'll become evident when everything is used and they arent replacing it as quickly or with as good quality stuff.

[WeepingSomnambulist]

@TokyoTen

I think you need to give the new manager a little more time, you've only had 1 Zoom meeting after all! Plus remember that someone who is a specialist in related areas may well be able to bring new principles/thoughts to what you do and improve it even further.

Sorry OP you sound like you are resisting change for the sake of it rather than to be constructive.

And another one. What about OP's posts makes you think she has only had one zoom meeting with this person? That's not at all what she has said so how can you possibly have concluded that?

[Doingprettywellthanks]

Interesting that your DH thinks you’re being unreasonable OP

Has he clarified why?

[Cantbebotheredanymore]

@DashboardConfessional @WeepingSomnambulist thank you both, I think you understand the predicament really well, despite my rubbish analogy lol.

@Doingprettywellthanks DH has never worked in this type of environment before, he's very much "just go to work, get paid, ignore the crap" which I do admire but find difficult as I do take pride in doing a good job of things.

He works in construction, so he shows up, builds things and goes home with very little micro managing. It's either right or wrong, and there's no debate about best practice in his work so very few areas of grey. I tried to help him understand by saying "what if your boss didn't understand construction and asked you to build in a way you know (and have prior evidence) would fall down eventually and you'd have to start again" he said he would warn them, but do it anyway as it wouldn't be his fault when it fails. I find this approach difficult personally.

[Cantbebotheredanymore]

Thanks for the comments and advice everyone, I'll come back and let you know the outcome (or new job haha!) <3

[MajorCarolDanvers]

You've made a lot of judgements and formed a lot of opinions based on one virtual meeting.

Take a deep breath and wait and see how things actually go.

You might have got entirely the wrong end of the stick.

[activediscussions]

Your analogies made me smile and I think I've worked in similar industries in the past to you.

You are right your new manager is going to try and make her mark. She may well have heard good things about you from your old manager. These qualities may threaten the new manager.

Here's the problem.
Your chances of changing her are slim to none. You can try but it'll be a battle of the wills, and the likelihood of you "winning" is small.

So your choices are:

1. Leave now.
   
2. Give her a chance and if it doesn't work out, leave.
   
3. Stay and suck it up
   
   If you choose option 3, you may be miserable however having just returned from maternity leave, you may be okay because maybe the job will matter less than it did before.
   
   Just do focus on what you can change and keep your instinct on guard. It's there for a reason.

[DashboardConfessional]

@MajorCarolDanvers

You've made a lot of judgements and formed a lot of opinions based on one virtual meeting.

Take a deep breath and wait and see how things actually go.

You might have got entirely the wrong end of the stick.

Again, she has worked for this person for 2 months and how things are actually going is badly.

[billy1966]

OP,

I think as @BuddhaAtSea mentioned, create a clear paper trail of all her instructions and preferences, noting your reservations, but confirming this is what she insists upon.

Let there be no ambiguity that she has insisted on these changes against your the advice of those with experience.

She shouldn't have any problem with you acting as "note taking secretary" to the changes she is implementing.

It can be your parting gift to colleagues when things go tits up, or it will be proof that she didn't listen to you and your colleagues.

You may like your old boss but she has not behaved well by the way this woman has been appointed.

[Doingprettywellthanks]

grey. I tried to help him understand by saying "what if your boss didn't understand construction and asked you to build in a way you know (and have prior evidence) would fall down eventually and you'd have to start again" he said he would warn them, but do it anyway as it wouldn't be his fault when it fails. I find this approach difficult personally.

too right. He’s basically saying “sod whether someone gets killed. Not my problem”

[Cantbebotheredanymore]

@activediscussions

Your analogies made me smile and I think I've worked in similar industries in the past to you.

You are right your new manager is going to try and make her mark. She may well have heard good things about you from your old manager. These qualities may threaten the new manager.

Here's the problem.
Your chances of changing her are slim to none. You can try but it'll be a battle of the wills, and the likelihood of you "winning" is small.

So your choices are:

1. Leave now.
   
2. Give her a chance and if it doesn't work out, leave.
   
3. Stay and suck it up
   
   If you choose option 3, you may be miserable however having just returned from maternity leave, you may be okay because maybe the job will matter less than it did before.
   
   Just do focus on what you can change and keep your instinct on guard. It's there for a reason.

Thank you, this is really good advice!

[rookiemere]

Is there a possibility of moving sideways into another area within the company?
Trouble is it sounds like you know everything about your role, but if you're not wanting to move into a management position, it does make things quite tricky for the new manager.
It's also something you could put a good spin on and say that you realise that after 10 years in the team, its time for you to take on some new challenges.

[Changechangychange]

@Doingprettywellthanks

grey. I tried to help him understand by saying "what if your boss didn't understand construction and asked you to build in a way you know (and have prior evidence) would fall down eventually and you'd have to start again" he said he would warn them, but do it anyway as it wouldn't be his fault when it fails. I find this approach difficult personally.

too right. He’s basically saying “sod whether someone gets killed. Not my problem”

Let’s assume this is lower stakes than death, and more like a website crashing.