My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To think my new boss is going to be a nightmare

78 replies

Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 08:49

Full disclosure, I've already been told by DH that I'm being unreasonable – but first off he seems blissfully unaware of the way people can stealth attack. Also I am probably extra sensitive to this as I've experienced workplace bullying many years ago and vowed never to let it happen again.

So, I've recently returned from maternity leave for a job a really like, let's call it glass blowing. It's an online company so I've never met my colleagues but the team has great dynamics and is very progressive in their approach, eg take as much sick leave as you need, we're here to support your learning etc etc

While I was away the team had a big restructuring and my boss who I really liked hired some middle managers, I guess to lighten her own load, which is fine. I met my new 'middle' boss on a virtual KIT day, and although she said the right things unfortunately I got really fake vibes from her tbh, you know when someone is forcing a smile. (Perhaps she was nervous then, but she's well into the job now and still doing her patronising smile)

She is inexperienced when it comes to glass blowing, but she 'loves vases' and has lots of ideas on how to improve our glass blowing services. She has 10 years management experience in selling ceramics, I have 10 years experience in making glass. She is leading our team in how to make and sell glass vases.

I'm honestly not bothered that I was technically 'overlooked' for the promotion while on maternity as i expressed previously that team management is not an area i want to be in, and I accept she has more direct experience as a sales manager. However she has no direct experience in our very niche industry and since returning she is zeroing in on me and my glass making ability, in quite a negative way.

Lots of negative critiques, hmmming and eyebrow raising. We are both equally experienced career wise, just in very different areas. And I feel annoyed that she's trying to make big changes in areas she currently has no experience in. (This isnt a perfect analogy btw, but I've made it now lol)

For context my other boss loves the way i make glass vases, and they are selling well. Of course, I understand her role is to help us scale and grow, but I feel like she is barking orders just for the sake of it and to mark her territory as "the new boss". "Lets change all the vases from green to pink" "lets start blowing glass the way i like" etc

The addition of this one person has changed the team dynamic already, we cant discuss it really because its all online and has a paper trail but I can tell that others aren't impressed with her management either. My old boss was very supportive and lead from the front "lets make glass together, or, that batch didn't sell well how can we improve for next time etc" New boss is more "I don't like that vase, you need to come up with something else" Just a very different management approach.

For even more context, my new boss is good friends with my old boss. So even if she was unsuitable, she's not going anywhere. I don't want to quit this job because of one person, but I think she has a superiority complex where she has no respect for the people 'beneath her' and I'm feeling like it's only going to get worse. It's already far less enjoyable being here. I am aware that these feelings are heightened because I'm not long returning from mat leave.

AIBU (probably) but how do I approach this situation?

OP posts:
Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:22

Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 09:14

This! Honestly I think it's very much about people not knowing what they don't know.

Everyone has a glass vase at home, most people don't know how to make one. So they feel familiar with something they actually know very little about.

The reason I'm writing this thread, is that it's become apparent that new boss isn't interested in learning about how glass blowing works at all. She's already decided based on a very basic understanding of the process and is now trying to change processes which will make it more difficult, but not impossible to continue. It's like the blind leading the non-blind lol.

The company has a 'disagree and commit' approach. So we are expected to follow her process, however illogical, and deal with it. Which I am doing tbf, but Im more concerned that it's just becoming not a nice place to work anymore.

Do you not have any relationship with your colleagues that you could privately engage to get their view?

Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:23

The company has a 'disagree and commit' approach.

what on earth does this mean?

Report
Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 09:24

Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:19

You said they are “good friends”
So presumably before they ever worked together?

how long have you been back op?

I've been back two months. They used to work together somewhere else.

I am assuming they are good friends based on a few things old boss said (very familiar with her) and because of how she was brought into the company. No formal job advert etc, more like "this person is joining the team in a newly-created role"

It's a small company (no more than 30 people total) so new additions make a big impact.

OP posts:
Report
Oysterbabe · 20/09/2022 09:25

DomesticShortHair · 20/09/2022 08:55

Go to work, just do your job they way that she tells you to, then knock off and not think about work until you start again the next day.

Then pocket the money on payday. That’s it.

This is precisely what I would do too.

Report
Hankunamatata · 20/09/2022 09:26

I'd respond by repeating back the changes she wants (for clarification), stating the disadvantages and saying when those changes will be ready.

Report
frazzledasarock · 20/09/2022 09:28

Give it a trial run. Set yourself a deadline where you’ll give returning to this role a good go and if it is as bad as you think it will be then start job hunting.

A similar thing happened to a colleague where I work. But it turned out brilliantly and she and her previous manager are really good friends now and she was hesitant moving away because they got on so well.

give it a chance. If your manager criticises ask her to give you constructive criticism to make mutually agreed changes as being told ‘change that’ doesn’t explain what she wants changed.

Returning from mat leave is really hard and a big shock to the system. I hated the first month back and I had no significant role change.

Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:31

Have you got any indication whatsoever from colleagues that they share your view?how long has she been in the position?

Report
SheWoreYellow · 20/09/2022 09:31

Hankunamatata · 20/09/2022 09:26

I'd respond by repeating back the changes she wants (for clarification), stating the disadvantages and saying when those changes will be ready.

Yes, make sure you say “ok, I’ll do that, it will mean I can only produce xx amount now/it will use xx more glass”

Report
AlisonDonut · 20/09/2022 09:33

What are your options?

If this is a small company, how will her behaviour and direction affect the overall business? That's what you need to focus on as it is the only thing that the main boss will really be concerned about.

Are glass blowers easy to come by? Who was glass blowing whilst you were away, and if you handed your notice in would business just carry on or would it be severely impacted?

Is the impact of her wanting the glass blown her way going to damage materials, slow down sales, or just be annoying to you?

Report
YeahThanks · 20/09/2022 09:34

Is the Boss asking you to do things in a way that won’t work technically or is it that they’re taking a negative view on the product? If it’s poor technical knowledge are you explaining why the method suggested isn’t good?

Report
Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 09:34

Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:23

The company has a 'disagree and commit' approach.

what on earth does this mean?

Haha well its 'progressive' management speak but basically means, we discuss changes as a team to allow open challenges, but ultimately once a decision is made we must all back it 100%, even if concerns haven't been fully addressed.

For example, someone decides we should start putting glitter on our vases. They'll be a team meeting, and after considering different views manager decides on whether or not we add glitter, and we must all back that decision even if some disagree adding glitter would be rubbish.

It's a flawed approach because it assumes during the consultation that management (who make the ultimate decision) are fair and balanced, and listen to other's concerns to make final decision.

New boss doesn't even pretend to ask for feedback thought, there's no opportunity to disagree, she makes changes and expects us to follow without questioning.

OP posts:
Report
EarringsandLipstick · 20/09/2022 09:38

They found some loophole i'm sure. The role was never advertised, my old boss just created a new position and parachuted her mate in basically.

I'd be asking about this 'loophole'. What you've described is illegal - both not advertising & not ensuring you had an opportunity to apply when on maternity leave

Report
TrashPandas · 20/09/2022 09:40

You won't change her or her management style. If the company is large enough, can you manoeuvre your way to a different department/different manager? If not, update your CV and start looking. This won't get better.

Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:40

Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 09:34

Haha well its 'progressive' management speak but basically means, we discuss changes as a team to allow open challenges, but ultimately once a decision is made we must all back it 100%, even if concerns haven't been fully addressed.

For example, someone decides we should start putting glitter on our vases. They'll be a team meeting, and after considering different views manager decides on whether or not we add glitter, and we must all back that decision even if some disagree adding glitter would be rubbish.

It's a flawed approach because it assumes during the consultation that management (who make the ultimate decision) are fair and balanced, and listen to other's concerns to make final decision.

New boss doesn't even pretend to ask for feedback thought, there's no opportunity to disagree, she makes changes and expects us to follow without questioning.

That is not a management approach

that is an approach adopted by a somewhat inept business

it doesn’t exist as “an approach”.

Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:42

How long has she been in the role?

And have you not discussed this with a single colleague? No idea what thoughts are amongst your colleagues??

Report
DashboardConfessional · 20/09/2022 09:43

Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:40

That is not a management approach

that is an approach adopted by a somewhat inept business

it doesn’t exist as “an approach”.

Yes it does.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disagree_and_commit

Report
SD1978 · 20/09/2022 09:45

Can you not just do it the way she thinks it should be one, whilst having an email chain that clearly states I don't believe this will work because of x, but will do y as you've requested. Then when the vases are all shite, it's clear where and why?

Report
Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 09:45

AlisonDonut · 20/09/2022 09:33

What are your options?

If this is a small company, how will her behaviour and direction affect the overall business? That's what you need to focus on as it is the only thing that the main boss will really be concerned about.

Are glass blowers easy to come by? Who was glass blowing whilst you were away, and if you handed your notice in would business just carry on or would it be severely impacted?

Is the impact of her wanting the glass blown her way going to damage materials, slow down sales, or just be annoying to you?

Glass blowers make up 15% of the company, its a wider company which sells flowers and vases together. Most people are concerned with the flower aspect, as it's the big and showy part, but glass blowers are a steady and specialist production line. If we are doing our job well, no one notices. If we do it badly, everyone can see our wonky vases lol.

While I was gone, the other glass blowers had to work twice as hard to make up for me not being there, as I wasn't back filled. If I handed in my notice, they would eventually find someone but this glass is a rare type of glass that very few people know how to manage. I reckon it would take 6 months+ to find a suitable replacement. This is probably why I wasn't backfilled on mat leave.

I reckon this is also why new boss has no experience in glass blowing, but old boss thinks she's an effective manager as she was in previous company they worked in. But they used to sell ceramics, a much more popular area that new boss knows very well. Now shes in glass, she is pissing in wind.

OP posts:
Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:46

Yes but the definition is not in accordance with your definition!

Why aren’t you answering how long she’s been there and whether any of your colleagues at all share your view?

Report
Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 09:52

Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:46

Yes but the definition is not in accordance with your definition!

Why aren’t you answering how long she’s been there and whether any of your colleagues at all share your view?

Sorry I missed this, she's only just started a couple of weeks before I came back.

So I've been back two months, new boss two and half months

OP posts:
Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:57

And absolutely no indication that any other colleagues share your view?

Report
Sally872 · 20/09/2022 09:58

You don't have to like her and it is not easy but i would get on board with what new boss wants from you until you can find something else.

Maybe her ideas will work, of not maybe she will leave.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

DashboardConfessional · 20/09/2022 10:00

Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:57

And absolutely no indication that any other colleagues share your view?

we cant discuss it really because its all online and has a paper trail but I can tell that others aren't impressed with her management either.

From the first post. She did say she has never met her colleagues in person.

Report
Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 10:00

Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 09:57

And absolutely no indication that any other colleagues share your view?

Well I see facial expressions on Zoom calls when she's making her suggested changes, but it's really hard to have those type of conversations digitally.

Also i don't want to be seen as a gossip at work especially having just come back, hence why im here instead lol

OP posts:
Report
Doingprettywellthanks · 20/09/2022 10:02

Cantbebotheredanymore · 20/09/2022 10:00

Well I see facial expressions on Zoom calls when she's making her suggested changes, but it's really hard to have those type of conversations digitally.

Also i don't want to be seen as a gossip at work especially having just come back, hence why im here instead lol

So you don’t ever message or engage with any colleague outside of work? How long have you worked there before maternity leave?

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.