Does everything really need to be so loud?

[orbitalcrisis]

I didn't put this in Autism as I wanted replies from a wider range of people and thought this would be a better place to get that, is it really necessary for everything to be so loud?

I have autism and I find SO many places far too loud! Also bright and busy but that's another thread. It can be very overwhelming and tiring and at times actually physically painful. I wouldn't want to ruin other people's enjoyment but, would it really ruin you day if the volume was turned down a little? Theme parks and cinemas are the worst, but even back ground music in supermarkets and shopping malls, do they even need music? Are they a necessary part of your enjoyment and if they are, would you object to them being a little quieter so we can all be comfortable?

I don't expect the whole world to change for my preferences and comfort, I just wondered whether it REALLY is that important and why. Would you struggle to hear it if it was quieter? Would shopping malls and supermarkets be depressing without any music at all?

YABU: It's an important part of the ambience and has to be that loud
YANBU: Turning it down is fine with me!

It makes life even harder for deaf people too. Unnecessary noise just complicates everything.

"YANBU - if they turned off background music in shops, pubs etc, no-one would notice."

Completely disagree. I think our local shopping centre feels eerie when the music is off

Completely agree. I avoid shops, restaurants and cafes that play loud music.

If I am having a meal or a coffee with someone I want to be able to hear our conversation, not have to shout over thumping music.

I’m a Rock fan and I love Loud when it’s in a place that I expect it and choose to go to.

In everyday life it drives me up the wall! Especially this thing of ‘sharing’ whatever you’re watching or listening to because you don’t/can’t/won’t wear earphones.

But everything is just so bloody loud, my DH watches Sky News at a reasonable volume but their station ident blasts out so loudly it makes me jump, adverts are ridiculously loud too.

I’d be happier if the world was generally quieter and less ‘in your face’…

I think some people are generally getting noisier, too. Shouting into mobile phones so that you can hear every word they are saying. Early morning dog walkers talking loudly in the street under bedroom windows when many folk will still be asleep. Men biking to work between 6 and 7am in twos and shouting loud conversations. Car horns being pipped late at night when leaving someone's house...

Totally agree. I think I’m sensitive to noise as I can’t bear it. Sat next to someone on a train yesterday who was playing music through their phone without headphones and I had to say something. They got the hump and just turned it up. But also can’t bear background noise when out and about.

I find the world too noisy. I love peace and quiet.

I have autism and I disagree.

Music regulates me and keeps me calm, so a shop playing music is perfect for me.

I used to wear headphones playing music but as an adult that seems an odd thing to do.

My DD is autistic and is like you and often wears earplugs as she finds it way too overwhelming.

I agree the cinema is very loud but I get used to it whereas my DD doesn’t and wears earplugs or even cotton wool just to dampen the noise.

Many cinemas and shops etc offer quieter sessions which I’ll go to if my DD is with me.

I agree.

I also think that if there is going to be music, it should vary... Yesterday I walked into a shop for the first time in months and was greeted by the same playlist on loop... I felt really sorry for the shop assistants!

YANBU.

I love films but rarely go to the cinema because I find the volume uncomfortable.

I no longer go to live bands in small venues. Why use an amplifier when your audience is only a few feet from the instruments? I come out with my ears ringing.

Supermarkets are the worst for competing bleeps and jingles, announcements and warnings. It's hard to know what to focus on. I think that why nobody reacts when the fire alarm goes off.

I quite like live music as it adds a certain atmosphere to events if it's good (and therefore I'm inclined to stay longer). However I completely agree that there's no need to play anything between the gaps (it actually detracts from the atmosphere as it's in no way comparable)!

I often ask restaurants and cafes to turn the music down a bit if it's really loud. Most are very obliging. Or they will move me away from the speakers. I just say that I have very sensitive hearing. I'd prefer no music but realise that is unreasonable. But yes, I agree with you that loud is definitely the default everywhere these days 😔

I'm not autistic and I agree.

The other week DD, DH and I had lunch in a bistro type place. They turned the music up shortly after we arrived, so people had to talk louder to be heard. The food was nice, but we won't be going back there because the "ambience" was an endurance test.

Because we ordered using a QR code and I had to give an email address I was emailed to fill in a satisfaction survey about the place. I made sure that they knew that it was far too loud to be enjoyable.

I agree.
We work without background noise at work. Members of the public come in. You would not believe how rude and noisy some of the general public are.
I really, really do not want to hear your stupid conversations, your feral children, your inane phone noise, just stop and learn to have manners. It is a working environment and you are entering into it and should respect that.

I’m not autistic but totally agree. I hate background noise, particularly music, and find it distracting and annoying. I’ve walked out of many shops because I can’t bear the music, most recently a lovely secondhand bookshop playing loud dance music.

I agree, I hate it, but......

There has been many studies about how background music affects sales, and the general consensus seems to be that people spend more when there is background music, so from a business point of view, it would make a huge difference.

On a practical note, some of our local shops have specific autism hours, where the lights are dimmed, music off, not massive changes but still better. Might be helpful to you? It's usually Tuesday at 6 here

I’m the opposite, I always have to have some background noise. Always have the tv on in the background or some music on when doing pretty much anything. If I’m walking somewhere I’d be listening to music or calling someone. When I’m cleaning I have headphones in, at work we aren’t allowed a radio in the office and I hate it. I work so much better when theres background noise. Love loud music in pubs etc and hearing the hubbub of other peoples conversations. I’m one of those people who just can’t relax though so maybe it’s all linked to that.

I find background music distracts from the less pleasant peopley noise in many places. Take Wetherspoons for example and absolute rabble of noise that is disguised by music in many similar bars.

Don’t ever visit Italy my god they are properly loud!

I'm not autistic but it drives me nuts too

E.g. shopping centres when one shop is playing their music FAR too loud, then the centre has an equally annoying loud set of music

It's completely overwhelming

Then on public transport you have anti social idiots playing videos on phones

You can't even guarantee to escape loud noise in restaurants these days

Whatever happened to calming quiet background noise WHEN appropriate?and don't get me started on the fucking beeps at the checkout self service shouty lady

i sometimes fantasize about having a mute button for the world. If I had a genie wish that would be a good one

I'm NT btw

I’m NT, totally agree with you. The only upside of my husband dying is that the telly’s no longer wittering away all day with no one watching it. Start a campaign OP! Let’s get back to some peace and quiet! Anyone can have personal music 24/7 nowadays, we don’t all have to share it.

Yes, I completely agree. I find loud TVs particularly hard to cope with and loud music in restaurants and pubs is awful. It’s not that I expect hushed quiet everywhere but I don’t understand why everything has to be so loud. Even people talking sometimes does my head in when they shout and cackle in raised voices at each other. You’re less than two feet apart, ffs, you don’t need to bellow!

I agree. I don't have autism but have very sensitive hearing and I hate hate hate loud music in shops or restaurants so you have to shout over it to speak to the people you're with!

I struggle not so much with outdoor and shop music but the screetchy noises one of my children makes. Also the you tube videos they watch with screetchy men. Makes me want to kill.

Don’t silently suffer it, OP, complain to the management. It does work.
I am autistic, and once had to walk out of Tesco without half my shopping as I couldn’t stand the din any longer.
They were playing ghastly Christmas pop tunes at ear splitting volume, and the staff I spoke to said they hated it too, and had headaches and ringing ears after a whole shift of it.
I went home and emailed Tesco. They replied promptly and said they would tell that particular store manager to turn it down.
Not particularly hopeful, I returned to the store a few days later. What a transformation! They had very very quiet gentle Christmas carols playing as almost subliminal background music. The staff were much less stressed, people were peacefully shopping - it was wonderful.