Does everything really need to be so loud?

[orbitalcrisis]

I didn't put this in Autism as I wanted replies from a wider range of people and thought this would be a better place to get that, is it really necessary for everything to be so loud?

I have autism and I find SO many places far too loud! Also bright and busy but that's another thread. It can be very overwhelming and tiring and at times actually physically painful. I wouldn't want to ruin other people's enjoyment but, would it really ruin you day if the volume was turned down a little? Theme parks and cinemas are the worst, but even back ground music in supermarkets and shopping malls, do they even need music? Are they a necessary part of your enjoyment and if they are, would you object to them being a little quieter so we can all be comfortable?

I don't expect the whole world to change for my preferences and comfort, I just wondered whether it REALLY is that important and why. Would you struggle to hear it if it was quieter? Would shopping malls and supermarkets be depressing without any music at all?

YABU: It's an important part of the ambience and has to be that loud
YANBU: Turning it down is fine with me!

Everything and everyone is so loud.

I'm not very good with noise especially music. We had some bloke in our street with music on in his car so loud we could hear it in our place, a woman upstairs with her window open shouting into her phone that was startling passers by. Everyone wants everyone to hear them.

Sometimes the music in grocery stores is too loud.

With people I think it's for attention. I personally don't want people to know what I'm doing.

Yanbu. Way too much of modern life is overstimulating and this is a good example.

A lot of it is marketing driven too - screens and advertising noise, deliberately too loud/bright for us to tune out.

I think a little background music so it fills the awkward silence if a cafe or pub is fairly empty is ok. Otherwise you feel like you're listening in on other people's conversations, or feel awkward talking yourself. But once the level of conversation increases to drown out the music, there's no need to turn it up.

Ps I don't have autism or any sensory issues whatsoever. I enjoy decent volume music if at a concert etc where its deliberate that i am listening to it. I can't stand constant loud background noise. My hearing is fine and it doesn't prevent me (for example) hearimg others speak, its just fucking annoying and i can't hear myself think.

Everything is too loud. Modern interiors make it worse as well. All the "industrial" cafes and bars with tiles, bare wood, and metal everywhere makes the acoustics really unpleasant. Clashy horrible painful noise. Then the absolutely unnecessary speakers everywhere blasting and blasting. Why is it like this? Who wants this?

I choose restaurants based on upholstery, for real, these days. I'm just sick of not being able to talk to my friends.

I’m not autistic but do have a hearing issue which has neurodiverse elements to it. DC is autistic. I absolutely agree - the anxiety I feel in these situations is extreme because of the level of competing sounds. Sports and shops like Foot Asylum are absolute no-nos for our family. I also find doctors’ waiting rooms awful nowadays, as they tend to have either the radio or a screen blaring, which ramps up the anxiety. People working out of the office in cafes, gyms and other public places is also doing my head in. I’ve heard really confidential conversations, exacerbated by people pacing around, very loud voices because they’re on headphones or even worse, FaceTiming/Teamsing without headphones so that you can hear the others on the call. It’s definitely got worse since Covid and has contributed to DC becoming more agoraphobic and me more stressed.

I can't stand how loud everything is, and I don't have any kind of sensory problems! I don't mind some background music, but by definition it should be background, not front and centre and making it impossible to talk or think.

Brightness you can't really do anything about though, many people with sight disabilities rely upon there being a lot of light in order to see at all, so dimming them would really hinder them. But flashing lights in shops and restaurants? Get rid!

I hate loud music. Westfield London is so bad for this. And then some shops play thier own music even louder over the top. I regularly walk round with white noise playing over noise cancelling headphones.

Oh gosh I totally agree. I'm NT but feel like I'm more sensitive to noise as I've got older.

I've just invested in some noise cancelling AirPods and they have improved my quality of life so much!!! Paying off over 5 months as v expensive but worth every penny. They've just taken away that noise discomfort and overwhelm when I'm out and about and when I'm just at home. Calmer and happier.

I don't have autism but often think things could be turned down a notch. There must be loads of us with "sensitive ears" who are out off by loud noises that make it hard to concentrate or hear what someone is saying. Another thing that annoys me is the increase in automated public announcements on trains, park entrances, and promenades: "enjoy your walk", "take your litter home", "the next stop is 8km away".

Wavingnotdrown1ng it beggars belief that they have tinny local radio playing in our drs surgery - sitting there, feeling glum, with infected tonsils, horrendous sore throat and some wannabe DJ whittering on in the background. Hideous.

I'm NT and agree totally that much of it is sensory overload. Awful pop music on phone waiting lines, crappy music blasting in shops and softplays, random unnecessary screens in restaurants (not talking about TVs in sports pubs obviously), radios always on on in taxis and in hospital/GP/dentist waiting rooms, teens walking around with those bloody awful speakers in backpacks thumping away like a travelling disco, parents putting on screens for toddlers on trains with sound on and no headphones. Even places that only play classical music are a relief! It must be horrendous for people with additional sensitivities.

YANBU I have significant hearing loss and I can't stand noise. I declined going to a work social meal the other day because the noise from them and other diners, and no doubt restaurant background music would make it a very unpleasant experience.

I can't wear my hearing aid in work because the noise is unbearable, also wearing glasses, having long hair and using a telephone headset makes it impossible too.

I was in Sainsbury's last Tuesday and I noticed no music and it was quite calming.

I think this is the least unreasonable post I've ever seen on here!

I took my daughter to see a film at a Vue on Saturday. Fortunately, having been there before I had a pair of construction earplugs with me. I could hear every word and every song quite clearly with earplugs in (although she actually is autistic, she has ADHD as well and sometimes she appears to like the sensory assault of a Vue - she also has a love for the reclining seats).

We stayed in a Premier Inn recently and when we went to breakfast the bar manager was blasting BBC News coverage of that poor 9 year old who was murdered in Liverpool.

He thought I was most unreasonable when I asked him to turn it down on the grounds that I didn't want to spend the weekend fielding questions from an paet 9 year old wondering if she was next.

But he actually turned it off completely and put some music on. The other guests looked pleased.

I agree and am not autistic. Restaurants and pubs are the worst as I can’t hear my dining companions if there is loud background music and don’t appreciate having to shout. Films and TV dramas often have such loud background music I can’t hear the dialogue. And every tradesman I employ seems to put a radio on at full blast as soon as they get here (yes I do ask them to turn it down or off but feel like a right party pooper).

This. The body has a stress response to loud noise, which some people may not even be aware of. It is very harmful, all the constant loud noise.

And the constant waffle from the automated voice on self service tills, all being used at the same time, makes me want to shout " will you just stop fucking going on, I know what to do".

An paet = another

YANBU. Everything is set just that little too loud for me. I don't mind the music etc but it always seems just that little bit too much.

I also regularly have a slight hearing loss due to sinusitis and blocked Eustachian tubes, and I still find things too loud sometimes. Then again it could be the jumble of noises which I don't like as it makes certain things harder to hear?

Yes turn things down! I really struggle to enjoy time out with friends when pups/bars have music really loud (even worse is when this is the case in restaurants) ...went out to the pub with friends the other night and was already struggling with the background noise and then they had a guy singing with a guitar and I sweaty the speakers were set to full pelt!

Jack Wills used to have the music up so loud it was absolutely unbearable. I stopped going in there at all.

And don't get me started on National Rail's See it. Say it. Sorted.

Grrrr.

As if there's ever anyone to tell anyway!

It's usually accompanied by the text number 61016 though, so you can tell someone without having to see someone.

@DrNo007 Background music on TV is the worst! We keep the subtitles on permanently now. We often won't watch things at all if they don't have them!

I’m deaf and also have tinnitus.

all that “background” music makes it much harder to “focus” and hear what people are saying.

i honestly don’t understand why shops do it. Luckily, around here it is the exception, not the norm.