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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

353 replies

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 16:46

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Libre2 · 18/09/2022 21:30

We go to church - my kids come and enjoy it (sometimes) because they have friends there. We run the youth part which is crazy because we’re ancient and uncool…. We are hanging out for a cool, young youth leader but one is not forthcoming. I don’t know what the answer is - kids bring kids basically but you need a critical mass to start with (no pun intended).

Anonymouseposter · 18/09/2022 21:31
  • Senior leaders of the Church very regularly share their not-so-inclusive views on these matters. If it's not part of the true Christian teachings, they could do with re-educating...they are 'the face' of their religion, after all
Sadly the church seems to have moved a long way from Chirst's original teachings.
Annualleavecancelled · 18/09/2022 21:33

@Left "If it’s an old building then I’d love a halloween service about ghost stories set in the church"

I think you might wait a long time for that one !

'Halloween' is a corruption of All Hallow-Even.
The tradition originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honour all saints.
So while the modern celebration of Halloween is devoid of Christian meaning, it originally was a “holy evening,” one where the saints were honoured and God was praised.

alanabennett · 18/09/2022 21:34

Left · 18/09/2022 21:21

I just asked my teenager what would tempt him to go to church… he looked a bit concerned and reminded me that he’s an atheist so he would never go.

I’d love to go to a Christmas carol service but I have no idea where to start. I live in a city and there are loads of churches - I don’t know how to choose one.

I think I’d be tempted to go to an occasional service if there was little/no religion involved and there were interesting local guest speakers - eg a local social historian giving a talk on the history of the area. If it’s an old building then I’d love a halloween service about ghost stories set in the church.

That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. "I'd be tempted to go to

alanabennett · 18/09/2022 21:36

MN cut me off! Why would you want to go to a church service "if there was little to no religion involved"?

Do you know what a church is?

IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:39

custardbear · 18/09/2022 21:17

I'm very uncomfortable using things to help draw people in, it's wrong. If people are interested they'll go, don't offer stuff to get an audience then preach to them

I agree.
Christians seem to think their God is the greatest gift they can give you though. 😅It really only seems to be Christians (be it mainstream, JWs or Mormons) that push this conversion and feel the need for everyone to believe it. Met people with all sorts of faiths and only encountered it with Christians. Christianity is quite aggressive really! I was thinking this post is an excellent example of one of the many reasons people aren't interested in it.
I wonder if I can interest OP in Buddha or Gaia? 😉

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:43

IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:39

I agree.
Christians seem to think their God is the greatest gift they can give you though. 😅It really only seems to be Christians (be it mainstream, JWs or Mormons) that push this conversion and feel the need for everyone to believe it. Met people with all sorts of faiths and only encountered it with Christians. Christianity is quite aggressive really! I was thinking this post is an excellent example of one of the many reasons people aren't interested in it.
I wonder if I can interest OP in Buddha or Gaia? 😉

I'm interested in any way of thinking. If you read my replies it's more for a community build up.
Once the elder generation are gone it will be a very quiet church and probably close.

Again not intending to brainwash. Blimey a lot of you have assumed the worst of me.

OP posts:
Annualleavecancelled · 18/09/2022 21:44

@IAmTheUsername

"be it mainstream, JWs or Mormons"

You have been misinformed, JW's and Mormons aren't Christian.

Drivebye · 18/09/2022 21:45

I thought it was well known that if you want to maintain believers you need to hook them in young. The Catholic Church has an established plan fir this. The problem you have is that any one who actually thinks about it realises that it's just another group to belong to with a set of beliefs (which when questioned don't hold together).

IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:47

Annualleavecancelled · 18/09/2022 21:44

@IAmTheUsername

"be it mainstream, JWs or Mormons"

You have been misinformed, JW's and Mormons aren't Christian.

They are a branch of Christianity.
I know first hand Jehovahs Witnesses consider themselves the true / proper Christians. The other lot have been persuaded off the true path by the devil.

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:49

IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:47

They are a branch of Christianity.
I know first hand Jehovahs Witnesses consider themselves the true / proper Christians. The other lot have been persuaded off the true path by the devil.

Yeah that Rick Astley has a lot to answer for the devilish prick 🤣🤣

OP posts:
x2boys · 18/09/2022 21:50

HeadacheEarthquake · 18/09/2022 21:01

Don't try and "lure" them. Creepy.

If they are dumb enough to start believing in some arbitrary overlord they will make their own way.

HTH Grin

I think this is quite an ignorant reply I'm agnostic I was brought up as Rc I don't attend church regularly now ,but I don't think people who have a strong faith are stupid or dumb they just have different beliefs
My son is nearly 16 he's in year 11 at a RC school he's always gone to a RC school since nursery and he's atheist, which is fine but he doesn't disrespect other people's beliefs I have taught, not everybody has the same beliefs, he doesn't have ro agree with other people but he does have to respect their belief, s .

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:53

x2boys · 18/09/2022 21:50

I think this is quite an ignorant reply I'm agnostic I was brought up as Rc I don't attend church regularly now ,but I don't think people who have a strong faith are stupid or dumb they just have different beliefs
My son is nearly 16 he's in year 11 at a RC school he's always gone to a RC school since nursery and he's atheist, which is fine but he doesn't disrespect other people's beliefs I have taught, not everybody has the same beliefs, he doesn't have ro agree with other people but he does have to respect their belief, s .

If some posters want to perceive encourage as lure then let them.

OP posts:
IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:54

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:49

Yeah that Rick Astley has a lot to answer for the devilish prick 🤣🤣

Are we going to credit Rick Astley to the creation of mainstream Christianiy and Mormonship? I mean pure evil to convince people away from Jehovah but you have to admire Ricks craftsmanship there.

custardbear · 18/09/2022 21:54

@Ihatecocomelon - of course it's brainwashing! It's someone preaching stuff that's not proven, possibly untrue and you're trying to draw people or youngsters into this ... to what end? ... to believe in something that's theory / faith based ... it's wrong and it is trying to brain wash .. worse still, young people who should be allowed tomwork it out for themselves

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:56

custardbear · 18/09/2022 21:54

@Ihatecocomelon - of course it's brainwashing! It's someone preaching stuff that's not proven, possibly untrue and you're trying to draw people or youngsters into this ... to what end? ... to believe in something that's theory / faith based ... it's wrong and it is trying to brain wash .. worse still, young people who should be allowed tomwork it out for themselves

I wish posters would read my other replies. It's a shame you can't edit your posts.
My fault really. Autism and forums don't mix lol.

OP posts:
Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:56

IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:54

Are we going to credit Rick Astley to the creation of mainstream Christianiy and Mormonship? I mean pure evil to convince people away from Jehovah but you have to admire Ricks craftsmanship there.

He's aged incredibly well then.

OP posts:
IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:57

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 21:56

He's aged incredibly well then.

I have forgotten the difference between the watch tower and the awake, but he'll be on the cover of the text one. #thetruthisoutrick

IAmTheUsername · 18/09/2022 21:58

Next *

custardbear · 18/09/2022 22:01

@Ihatecocomelon - you can say you're not trying to push religion as much as you like, but you are! Why try to draw people in, there must be a reason, otherwise have a different group with no connection to religion

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 22:04

custardbear · 18/09/2022 22:01

@Ihatecocomelon - you can say you're not trying to push religion as much as you like, but you are! Why try to draw people in, there must be a reason, otherwise have a different group with no connection to religion

Just so there are other people my age to meet.
Social situations are difficult for me unless I'm in a 'safe place '

It's part of my autism I was just trying to get an idea of why and how. Sorry I have upset you. I enjoy talking to the elder members but there's only so much they and I understand in terms of talking about interests.

I'm not sure what else to say to help you understand 😕

OP posts:
AbcMurders · 18/09/2022 22:08

@Ihatecocomelon

ive recently moved to a village not very religious but I’d like to join in with our local church community but for the social aspect - but I’m apprehensive as I’m not really religious -would they be accepting of that ? Lnl

AliMonkey · 18/09/2022 22:09

I attend a church which has about 100 children each Sunday morning and 50 teenagers each Sunday evening. What you need is a core group of families willing to commit to the church, some family-friendly activities and time. Basically if a church has lots of children and youth, it attracts children and youth and it's self-perpetuating to some extent. My kids go to see their friends as well as enjoying most of the activities.

It's easier to keep children/youth in the church than bring them in later in life, so focus on young families first. During the week, we run a pre-school (with paid staff), we have a weekly toddler group and a weekly "messy church" style group, and we run a bible study group for mums with young children (ie come and study the bible whilst your children play around you or constantly interrupt you). On Sundays, we have creche for 0-3s and "Sunday school" for 4-11s, then youth group in the evening. We run events such as a holiday club, youth socials; we run courses (eg bereavement, divorce, depression, parenting, Alpha). But to do all this, as well as lots of volunteers, we employ a youth worker, children's worker and families worker.

Assuming you only have volunteers, then I'd say see if you can run a messy church once a month, a toddler group weekly if possible and a youth group once a month, and maybe an occasional parenting course - you can basically use a video course then just discuss as a group. Invite your friends and encourage other members to do the same (or invite neighbours, grandchildren, etc). Be welcoming to those that come to those activities and signpost other things going on. Chat to the attendees and individually say "why don't you come to X?" as people are much more likely to come then. Make the services welcoming to children, eg make it clear that you don't mind if the children don't sit still or make a noise, and have at least one simple song that children can relate to or do actions to.

Ihatecocomelon · 18/09/2022 22:09

AbcMurders · 18/09/2022 22:08

@Ihatecocomelon

ive recently moved to a village not very religious but I’d like to join in with our local church community but for the social aspect - but I’m apprehensive as I’m not really religious -would they be accepting of that ? Lnl

THANK YOU this is what I was trying to say. I wanted more people my age to join in the social aspect of it.

No one cares if you believe or not along as you're a kind person you will be welcomed 😊

OP posts:
AliMonkey · 18/09/2022 22:12

@AbcMurders Certainly in my church we'd welcome you. Many people come initially for the social aspect. For some, that's where it stays and we still welcome them, for others over time they may become more interested in the Christian aspect, but all are welcome. Jesus didn't say "only love and welcome those that love me", God loves us all whether we acknowledge him or not. In my experience, there's lots of people in village church communities who are there for the social aspect too. So go for it!

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