To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

@WellTidy I agree, I have never been made to feel as unwelcome as when (years ago) I attended a couple of church services.
I was at a really low ebb and they made me feel utterly worthless.

Is it more people attending social events you want, or more people attending religious events?

Our Gurdwara is well attended socially, we have childrens groups, soup kitchen, groups for the elderly, AA meetings, hobby groups, homework clubs, yoga, martial arts, NHS run health sessions, etc. We make a very clear distinction between a group being hosted and a religious event. My husband (an athiest) takes our daugher to a baby group every Tuesday, you can either pay to attend or do x hours of volunteering at a non-religious event. He has never experienced anything religion based, no sneaking it in.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Being Christian. 😂

You could turn it into more of a community centre, but if you are constantly trying to convert people any influx will be short lived as word spreads that it feels a lot like a cult.

I used to go to a baby group at a church, it was cheap, no religious songs etc and nobody tried to convert. It was quite popular and I'm sure they benefited from the money from the group. You could also try advertising Hall rental? If more money is your goal.

If it's a Methodist church is it also a dry church? No alcohol, no gambling (raffles etc)?

Tbh what puts me off taking my dc church is the beliefs. I have brought my children up to believe that it is fine to be gay, to have (safe) sex before marriage, to have an abortion, that women are equal to men.

I feel that these things are not in line with the churches view?

I don’t think you can Realistically I think it will all but die out over the next 2 generations. It’s just not the huge part of most peoples lives that it used to be 50 odd years ago

@wherearebeefandonioncrisps
"I went to a wonderful baby/toddler group held at the local Church . But I and most parents cringed at the closing prayer.
Colouring in /art activities seemed to always be based on religious themes.
I didn't like that as I'd have to explain to my children about what they'd glued or coloured in.
This would be about themes that neither my husband nor I believed in."

So why go to a church group if you didn't want any mention of religion? What did you expect? Why not go a secular one somewhere?

Another church I know has family services early on a Saturday evening, which is very well attended by families whose kids plat sports on Sunday mornings. Typically the Sundays are well attended but in, say, football season, those families can go to the Saturday at 6 service instead.

One last thing - we also make a big deal of the festivals. Christmas we have a big family friendly event, Easter we have a "walking after Jesus" event for the kids, Lent we have a massive group jambalaya dinner and a New Orleans jazz band...lots of social stuff!

We also get the kids involved in the services. My middle child is an acolyte, my older one volunteers at children's choir. My youngest wants to acolyte (we'll be waiting until we're confident he won't brandish the cross like a lightsaber 😂)

I used to go to church but I stopped when I had my DS. The reasons I stopped was the set-up was very much adults in one room, kids in another. My DS wouldn't settle without me and the service was too noisy for him - turns out he was autistic. So I spent some months sitting in kids club with him and got fed up. And also you couldn't take babies to the house groups and I had noone to look after him, so I was left out of that too. It suited a certain type of family but not ours.

Absolutely nothing. I actively discourage my kids being brainwashed.

Pay the choristers?

A lot depends on the demographic around your particular church, OP. My parish is a linked charge, across four villages. One of the four churches has no Sunday school, as it is in a small village of mainly elderly people.
My own church has a thriving Sunday school as my village has a recently built new estate full of young families. The kids dress up and put on a full Nativity service before Christmas and the church is packed with local families watching and taking part. There are fun activities each week, a Sunday school picnic and outing in the summer, and a party in the winter.
I used to teach Sunday school myself about 20 years ago, in a small village across the hills, and had 25 kids each week. Mostly wee boys, from 3 to 12 years, (who enthusiastically restaged the battle of Jericho and beat six bells out of each other!) - they loved craft activities too.
Whatever your church offers needs to be fun, and welcoming - you need to let each child know they are loved by Jesus just as they are, and encourage them to reciprocate by being kind and good to others. Kids do respond to a loving example, especially in a modern materialist, cynical world.

CapMarvel, you prefer to “brainwash” them with atheism then? And was there really any need to be quite so offensive?

By definition you can't be brainwashed into not believing anything.

And yes, I do think it's brainwashing. What else can you call it?

OP, if it is a Methodist church have you not seen this ? :

www.methodist.org.uk/media/5558/llp-community-engagement-leaflet-1217.pdf

My church has a thriving youth ministry (30-40 secondary aged children each week), but our youth service is on a Friday night.
We start with a Bible study and pizza for the older youth, then a more generic youth club for the younger teens, with a bit of discussion on the Christian perspective on various topics.
It's all done to give the young people a safe space to express themselves, to ask questions in a non-judgmental atmosphere, and to make them feel welcome in a church environment.
We don't "brainwash" them, but we do tell them what we believe and why.
The Christian faith is deeper than religion and ritual, it's about showing love to people. That might be through food, listening, or other practical help.
If you want to get people into your church, you need to get out there where they are and love them like Christ loves you.
You can't just be a Christian on Sunday, you need to show love all through the week, where you are.
Kids can sense inauthenticity a mile off, you need to genuinely care about their wellbeing and accept them as they are.

@Annualleavecancelled
Because there wasn't anything else within walking distance?

@InMySpareTime I have a question about your churches non judgemental atmosphere and love.

If one of their questions is about being gay, is your church truly accepting of who they are (as you said you are) where it is fine to be gay and in a gay relationship? I would love to hear this is the case.

I think it helps if the church is a presence in the community-not to recruit people but to contribute and engage in line with Christian teaching e.g., foodbanks, luncheon clubs, youth clubs, environmental activities and show care for people and make relationships with them.
I agree that trying to be "cool" and missing the target is off-putting to teenagers. They would probably prefer to engage in discussion about the meaning of life, contemplation, spirituality etc.
On the other hand, the same boring services with dirgy hymns could be off-putting.
Variety in the services would make it a bit more attractive.
I don't think it's helpful to do these things solely in order to increase church attendance. It needs to be genuine.

I think this is a big issue for younger people today. I went to church up until my late teens. I then found myself at odds with their teachings as I had gay friends, was cohabiting etc so stopped attending as I felt like a hypocrite.
Also, a massive issue for me was the lack of roles for females within the church. Women were not allowed to be elders or to give the sermon/message. Basically they were allowed to run the Sunday school and make the tea at the end of the service!

There is a very popular church where we live. Some of our friends go and DH has shown as interest but they have a similar stance on women and I just can't get past it. I certainly wouldn't want my daughters to attend. Where are they represented? Where is their voice?
This is an evangelical type church btw, I appreciate not all churches are like this but many are.

Overall I would say the main thing is to avoid pandering. Think hard about what it is your church believes in and it's tradition. Don't try and dumb it down or be wishy-washy. Don't try and attract people with stupid music that is meant to make them feel like they are at a concert. The things you do, do well and thoughtfully. Work towards growing the depth of the parishioners you have. Look at the community that surrounds you and see what you might be called to do there. Be Christ centered.

And FWIW, my parish church uses a traditional liturgy and structure, and has quite a lot of young people, particularly in their 20s. It's really not about baby groups or pizza.

Could you ask some younger people? Perhaps a few focus groups. Maybe drop off questionnaires at the local schools.
I would think teens accessing helpful services such as counselling, banking, mentors, one stop shop for a safe pair of listening non judging ears and some tea and sympathy might be a good place. The trouble with churches are they are never open at the times teens need anything e.g nighttime/evenings. But a drop in place of comfort when the day is too much or their home life is rough - then perhaps a welcome non judgmental sanctuary might appeal.

Don't try and "lure" them. Creepy.

If they are dumb enough to start believing in some arbitrary overlord they will make their own way.

HTH

Successful Churches realise they are part of the community.

I live in a rural area and at the start of lockdown, the Church in our area was very quick to mobilise- delivering food for the elderly, prescriptions etc. They stepped up to help immediately and everyone in the village- Church goers or not, joined to help. Book swaps for isolated people, puzzle drop off etc. They also run a collection point for the food bank.

Things which have been put on recently- a magician, village Bingo, car boot stall. And because it is the Church, prices are very reasonable. I take my youngest to the Bingo and it's £2. We can enjoy an evening 'out' for less than £10 and they still raise some money for the repair fund. At the moment, nights out are too expensive for us, so this is a welcome treat. When you are 9, winning a box of Maltesers is so exciting! At Christmas they do a lovely display of the Nativity and lots of parents take children up to visit that.

The Church itself has a free Children's Book swap- so anyone can go in and swap or borrow Children's books for free.

On Christmas Eve, we go to the 4pm service. The nativity is split up and spread all around the Church. As the vicar tells the story, he will ask individual children to find that 'part' of the story and they will carry it to the nativity.

It feels nice to be part of something- a group or a community at these times. My youngest is very firm about there being 'no God' and that's ok. It's just about joining together, I suppose.