Whole families going food shopping

[Shiningstarr]

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler.

Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

My mum always dragged my siblings and myself shopping as my dad refused to "babysit" his own kids

I'd hope that times have changed and that women put up with a bit less from ridiculous men. If I needed to do something and I used to leave ds with DH. Or I'd take a day off work. Or go in my lunchbreak from work.

I think it's a day out for some families. Personally couldn't think of anything worse!

I don't get it either. Baffling.

We do one big supermarket shop a month as a family. I don't drive, so couldn't go without him, but I'm the better one at maths and working out which is better value between the larger packs or the one on offer. 5 year old loves the supermarket trip and would be sad to miss out, the baby seems quite happy watching the world go by from her pushchair. We plan our food shop together depending on what is on offer/ available, but do top ups on our own throughout the month.

If I gave my husband a list of what I wanted a lot of it is price dependent as I like to shop around, so it would be frustrating for him to keep checking back with me. 5 year old loves helping look for things and putting them in the trolley and we are teaching good life skills like checking for good fruit and veg and reading the prices. Never occured to me people would judge us for shopping together!

I always find it weird that people get so worked up about this, and think it's something which must be avoided at all costs.. Like how badly behaved are most kids that you couldn't do a quick weekly shop with them? 😂
I always have a meal plan and a list so right from when mine were wee I'd get them to grab stuff and put it in the trolley and it doesn't take long.

We sometimes all go if we're on the way back from somewhere already, sometimes just me or DH will go. I'm a Lidl/Aldi fan so don't tend to do online. But I certainly don't find it stressful and we don't take up entire aisles discussing noodles and cereal!

Usual reason on here is that mum “doesn’t drive” and dad “can’t be trusted to shop on his own” ffs. Neither can apparently function as an adult on their own….

A bit of a different one, but I have really bad anxiety so my OH comes with me and we take the toddler. I prefer to shop online, but it’s not always possible. It’s important that I go, so I actually leave the house. I think it also teaches the toddler how to behave in public. I would rather go on a weekday when it’s quieter, but poor planning and all that

Sometimes whole families go out to shop together because the man won't stay home with the children ('parenting is for women/ cissies'), and sometimes it happens because the man is financially abusing the woman and she has no money or access to a credit card, and he insists on vetting everything she buys. Or he won't let her out of his sight.

Sometimes it's not so sinister - families are on their way home from some other event and hit the supermarket if the kids seem not to be overtired or hungry, etc. Or even if they are overtired, cranky, etc.

I think it's important to realise that different styles of grocery shopping work for different families, and if crowds in the supermarket is something you find irritating, there's always online shopping...

Nobody is grumbling about well behaved children being in a supermarket - it is whole families blocking aisles; kids running about getting in the way; or kids on heelies whizzing around that are a nuisance.

Usually we do an online shop, but going into the grocery store is a giant adventure for my toddlers that we use as a reward some days. They’re always on BEST behaviour there, because they know that if they aren’t we’ll head straight back out. (We never go when we’re truly desperate). Our local grocery store has a live fish and lobster tank. It is THE place to be, when you’re 3.

We also always start the trip with “when we go in, we’re buying bread, milk, apples, and sour cream. You can help me find them. I want to warn you. There WILL be chocolate and biscuits and crisps. Are we buying them?” Toddlers: “no!” Me: “what will I do if you so much as ask for them?” Toddlers: “tickle us!!!” and they giggle with glee and march into the shop to the apples section. Seriously, the kids can be right terrors at home, but in the grocery store they’re like perfect children out of a 1950s school primer on how to behave for your parents. The grocery store is a magical place.

I can understand a single parent having to do this but I always saw the weekly superarket sweep as some "me time". DH took the DC to the nearby park and I shopped, dumped the stuff in the car and had a quiet cup of coffee whilst waiting for them to come back - DH was given the death stare if they returned in under an hour unless it started raining....

You can apply this logic to every element of life though can’t you?

I mean if you don’t ‘HAVE’ to drive in rush hour you shouldn’t but I know lots of single childfree people who just fancy getting up and going to the gym at that time so feel totally entitled to jam up the roads more than necessary.
Driving a 10 minute walk, taking up seats with bags, eating food or taking pets on busy public transport. There are just endless examples …it’s all f*cking annoying behaviour yet people always think it’s fine and others should just ‘get over themselves’ when it’s them doing it.

In my opinion there are two factors to consider in ‘kids shouldn’t be in supermarkets’
1- KIDS HAVE TO TURN INTO FUNCTIONAL ADULTS- I know this may astound you all but next time you’re complaining about the ‘state of young people nowadays’ maybe consider how intolerant society has become to adults being inconvenienced even mildly by the presence of children. It didn’t used to be this way. My gran was taking all 3 kids to the shops 65-70 years ago and no one said a thing.

2- IT WILL WOMEN WHO GET LEFT HOME- You have a wonderful ‘equality warrior’ of a partner? Fab for you but most don’t. Most women seem to have partners who would rather climb a mountain with razor blades strapped to their feet than be left home watching 3 kids alone. Never mind when you have breastfed kids or those with AN. Women will get left at home whilst men either don’t do the shop or do it half arsed. WELL THEY SHOULD LEAVE THEM THEN- I hear you cry, well maybe they should but frankly the government purse could do without supporting a massive massive wave of new universal credit mums because you couldn’t deal with a few families in bloody aldi

If YOU don’t like it maybe YOU should shop online or go out of peak times. I actually do my shopping on a weekday morning before work and it’s VERY quiet so I’d recommend that. Ofc you won’t do that because you’d rather tell everyone else how to live their lives than change your own!

This. But as shown on this thread, they seem to feel entitled to behave however they want and get funny with the people who they're inconveniencing 😂

I saw it a lot during the height of Covid. Women walk around with a trolley while their husband walks behind, hands behind back. Absolutely weird.

Well said. The first post and subsequent replies are making the op look a bit immature and silly to be honest. They could do with educating themselves a little, by listening to what some of the more intelligent posters have said...

That's not true at all.
Neither DH or SIL ever went food shopping as children but both managed to work out how to use a supermarket when they were older.
It's not exactly a difficult concept I'm pretty sure every teenager knows how food gets to their table.

My personal favourite is adult mother daughter duos who have a trolly each and block the whole aisle whilst discussing each item either of them picks up-the whole way round!

If we go shopping in real life, we go as a family. Didn't realise that was weird to be honest!

You've totally missed the point of the thread. I wasn't annoyed by it, more baffled.

Quite honestly, if that is true, then you haven't much going on in the imagination department.

Decades ago my dad would take us kids to do the weekly shopping every Friday after payday. We would have to carry bags for a few miles.

Someone who doesn't drive can't function as an adult? Lovely...

I remember at school one day in 1997, our teacher asking us to write about our weekend.

Half the class wrote about doing the big weekly shop as a family day out in the local Tesco Extra. Our teacher was shocked and she never asked us to write a diary ever again! 🤣

I did my shop in tesco earlier today and I 100% agree with you.

Families of 4 aren't so bad but when it's the parents, grandparents and all 10 offspring it's just ridiculous. So, so irritating.

I'm more baffled at your bafflement to be honest. People doing everyday things in different ways? Where will it all end?

YY to that, and have you only just noticed this extraordinary phenomenon, OP?