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AIBU?

To really regret buying on a council estate

397 replies

Gameofmoans81 · 18/09/2022 09:03

5 years ago we bought our first house. We live in a very expensive town so to get a house rather than a flat meant buying an ex council house on a council estate where about 90% of the flats and houses are still council owned. It’s a small estate surrounded on each side by millionaires in a good location basically.
I didn’t think anything of buying on a council estate - I’m not a snob, I grew up and have lived in normal working/middle class suburbs and rub along with all sorts of people in life and when we viewed it seemed quiet and fine. However after 5 years of living here I absolutely hate it to the point where it’s making me ill.
Firstly there are some lovely people living here, this is not an attack on council tenants but the actual truth is that these are main issues:
teenagers outside my house all night screaming/drinking
dog shit everywhere
rubbish everywhere - think bins tipped over and not picked up, used nappies thrown in hedge etc
sofas/tvs dumped outside for months
screaming arguments/fights/regular police visits
music blasting all day
weed smoke continuously wafting in to my babies nursery if we open the window
young kids out til late swearing and shouting at passers by.

I am desperate to move but the house next door but one has been on the market for well over a year despite being nice and a bargain and no one’s biting. No one but us is stupid enough to buy here. If you picked up our house and put it on the street behind us you’d raise the price by around £100k basically and it would be sold within a week.

i feel so trapped and depressed everytime I walk through the estate to get home plus I feel totally stupid for buying it.
And I feel increasingly furious at these people who are literally costing us thousands of pounds because they can’t be bothered to pick up their shit.
Aaarrrggghhh!

OP posts:
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JenJones5 · 20/09/2022 18:37

MindYourBeeswax · 19/09/2022 21:38

Breeding is usually a term applied to animals, not people and applying it to humans is downright insulting and dehumanizing, as if you didn't know.

What next=bring slapping in schools and then the return of capital punishment. No-one would support that. What about children and adults with Asd, Tourettes or PDA who cannot conform? Maybe they can be first in the line to be sterilized or maybe bundled in the back of a white van and given a sorting out!
Disgusting Attitude that doesn't attempt to look for a real solution,

Op. I sympathise and hope it works out for you.

The real solution is to pack the problem families off to somewhere far from decent people, give them food and shelter instead of cash benefits and leave them to wallow in their own shit.

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Trainbear · 20/09/2022 20:18

absolutelyanythingwilldo · 20/09/2022 15:44

Good intentions but terrible advice. OP would never be able to sell her home if she did as you suggest as this would all need to be declared when she sells.

Best advice is sell up and move asap.

No. There will have been no complaints about the owners - the housing association or council. If the problem people are not direct neighbours then no chance of a problem either. If the issues are with tenants of adjoining properties then they are tenants, not owners.

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sst1234 · 20/09/2022 20:59

MindYourBeeswax · 19/09/2022 21:38

Breeding is usually a term applied to animals, not people and applying it to humans is downright insulting and dehumanizing, as if you didn't know.

What next=bring slapping in schools and then the return of capital punishment. No-one would support that. What about children and adults with Asd, Tourettes or PDA who cannot conform? Maybe they can be first in the line to be sterilized or maybe bundled in the back of a white van and given a sorting out!
Disgusting Attitude that doesn't attempt to look for a real solution,

Op. I sympathise and hope it works out for you.

Nice lecture. Give yourself a pay on the back. Your peace prize is in the post.

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MrsArrDee · 20/09/2022 21:36

Not me, but an extended family member bought our Grandparents house (right to buy) which was built by the coal board for Miners moving to work in the pits in the Midlands.

It was newly built when they moved into it in the 1960s and growing up, I knew every family in the street, the houses and gardens were immaculate and the neighbours were like a huge extended family. It wasn't until the mid 80's (following the miners strike) and when lots of the original tenants left their houses that the problems started.

By the time my relative wanted to sell our Grandparents home, it was sandwiched between a graffiti'd house with boarded up windows but lived in, and a hoarder. It did eventually sell, to a private landlord I believe.

I drive past from time to time, it gets worse every time I see it.

OP do what you can to sell, and move on, I can almost feel the exhaustion coming from your post.

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BunnyBum · 21/09/2022 21:47

So disheartening to live amongst people like that. People have no real self respect or pride any more. Some people near us have installed one of those alarms that give out a screeching noise that only under 20’s can hear. They have them near shops to deter kids congregating. It makes daughter cross the street! Try to get your hands on one of those!

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StinkyWizzleteets · 22/09/2022 18:40

It isn’t the same.
ah of course it isn’t because we can then play hardship Olympics and shit on council tenants.

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MindYourBeeswax · 23/09/2022 13:10

JenJones5 · 20/09/2022 18:37

The real solution is to pack the problem families off to somewhere far from decent people, give them food and shelter instead of cash benefits and leave them to wallow in their own shit.

oh yes! Who is going to decide who is a problem family then?

Jacob Rees-Mogg maybe.
Then we can pack off single mothers, kids with SEN, black families who have been let down by the system, pensioners who have dementia, kids who want to express themselves by using outside art, addicts who need help, those just out of social care, those who own a dog that isn't a corgi, those who are depressed, the jobless, kids who want to meet up after 7,

What a stupid suggestion.

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DillonPanthersTexas · 23/09/2022 13:26

MindYourBeeswax · 23/09/2022 13:10

oh yes! Who is going to decide who is a problem family then?

Jacob Rees-Mogg maybe.
Then we can pack off single mothers, kids with SEN, black families who have been let down by the system, pensioners who have dementia, kids who want to express themselves by using outside art, addicts who need help, those just out of social care, those who own a dog that isn't a corgi, those who are depressed, the jobless, kids who want to meet up after 7,

What a stupid suggestion.

Perhaps an alternative solution is that the problem families are moved into the streets where the more considerate folk live and and they can spend their time at 3am trying to 'understand' why the 19 year old twat in the modified car with a cherry bomb exhaust is doing doughnuts outside their home.

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MsTSwift · 23/09/2022 14:01

Actually I find MindYour posts not only daft but quite offensive. You’ve obviously never experienced this it’s wearing your attempting to paint anyone relating their actual lived experiences as sub Rees Mogg bigots 🙄

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MindYourBeeswax · 23/09/2022 14:07

Well, who is going to decide?

Do you think they're going to wheel in someone nice and fluffy? You know they won't and, what's more, you hope they won't.
I get that you don't give a shit about people being thrown out nor where they go but that is a stupid, offensive attitude.

Why don't you try giving a fuck instead of not caring. People need help both those who have problems and who cause problems, not rounding off and just sent over into the gutter of the next parish.

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MsTSwift · 23/09/2022 15:21

Anyone with a specified number of proven complaints against them by more than 1 neighbour. Then given a grace period to stop behaving like twats. Then removed to live amongst other families with similar “values”.

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oakleaffy · 23/09/2022 16:06

MindYourBeeswax · 23/09/2022 14:07

Well, who is going to decide?

Do you think they're going to wheel in someone nice and fluffy? You know they won't and, what's more, you hope they won't.
I get that you don't give a shit about people being thrown out nor where they go but that is a stupid, offensive attitude.

Why don't you try giving a fuck instead of not caring. People need help both those who have problems and who cause problems, not rounding off and just sent over into the gutter of the next parish.

Problem families can be problems over generations.
It’s like a pride thing with them to “ Not give a shite”.

Holland had an idea of putting the feckless and troublesome to live together- At least that way they aren’t causing trouble to people who DO care about their immediate environment.
Problem families have doubtless have caused problems for many others, and are resisting any changes for the better.
Why should their antisocial behaviour affect innocent people?
Only themselves to blame.

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BerriesOnTop · 23/09/2022 18:46

Then we can pack off single mothers, kids with SEN, black families who have been let down by the system, pensioners who have dementia, kids who want to express themselves by using outside art, addicts who need help, those just out of social care, those who own a dog that isn't a corgi, those who are depressed, the jobless, kids who want to meet up after 7

tbis has to be some elaborate troll, kids expressing themselves through outside art? 😆😂😝

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EdithDickie · 23/09/2022 19:10

OP, not as bad as your situation but a few years ago we wanted to move from a (falling apart, needing new roof, new damp proof course, on busy road, in fairly ropey area) house and went for part exchange with a new build developer. While we got a bit less than theoretical market value it was 100% worth it not to have to worry about viewings and chains and people asking too many questions and the roof!

Did some Zoopla stalking after and developer had sold it on at a hefty reduction to what they paid us for it (presumably to someone who'd got a proper survey etc).

If there are new build developments that might suit you could be a way to do it.

Wishing you all the best.

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SemynonA · 13/01/2023 18:20

In life we are meant to make mistakes.

You made one.
This doesn't make you an idiot. Just human.
What could make you an idiot (and a coward) is ruining your life by not facing your mistake and changing what needs to be changed because you don't want to feel like an idiot.

No judgment, I have done that, when we made the wrong choice in our life for ourselves (partner, job, money...) and rectifying it comes with some hardship, and loss, it can be easier to try to live with it.

However difficult it is to make the change, it never comes with regrets.

It's a bit like you are overweight, your health is impacted by it, and you're unhappy with yourself, your appearance, being unfit, everyday.
Eating comfort food can make you feel good for a bit and forget it, but you will always regret it for making your situation worse and for mentally acknowledging your weakness.
Exercising is hard, painful, tiring, and throw into your face how unfit and fat you are, it is not nice at all. However I have never met anyone who came to regret having done some exercising. If anything we're always wondering why we were so reluctant to do it, right?

We can't always pick the road of the efforts and the change, we're humans, there's a lot to cope with already with daily life, we need comfort as well. We live mad lives, in an environment completely unfit for our needs, let's not beat ourselves for failing here and then.

However now and then some efforts/changes become a necessity.
You're asking about it right now. Maybe it's not to that point yet. Maybe you need something specific to happen for it to click and take the decision "that's it, we're moving, whatever the cost".

When it will feel like a necessity, the only regret will be to have not done so earlier. But its ok, thats your path too.

When I was in the process of destroying and rebuilding my entire life to extract myself of abuse, my sister said a very wise thing.

"Peace has no price"

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LynneBenfield · 13/01/2023 18:37

The problem with ‘packing problem families together’ is that wherever they go becomes an isolated ghetto and there’s even less chance of breaking the generational chains of deprivation, poor educational outcomes, poor parenting outcomes, poor decision making. They tried that with old style ‘sink estates’. It didn’t work.

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mustgetoffmn · 14/01/2023 11:15

Gameofmoans81 · 18/09/2022 10:42

Do you want to buy my house? Pleeeaaase? 🙏

Lol OP. Mind your beeswax do you live in similar situation? If not operate your user name. OP has been very clear about her social sympathy towards her neighbours. Living with those issues are part of the hardship the people you mention have to also endure. Do you think they are impervious?

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Naddd · 16/01/2023 05:28

MindYourBeeswax · 18/09/2022 10:21

How about a little tolerance for those whose lives are so hopeless that they turn to drink and drugs and for those who are so bored that they resort to partying late into the night or shouting, as a PP said, in their garden until 3am.
One PP mentioned a woman who became a prostitute to fund her habit-do you think she wants her life to be like that?

Maybe they should all be herded onto 'sink estates', so that you don't have to see them.
All this hand wringing about these poor people bringing down house prices. Heartless. BE KIND

You go live there then you half wit.
Being poor is no excuse for making others lives hell, or not cleaning up after yourselves
Why don't these dirty, loud obnoxious, filthy bastards try being kind??
You think these people care if you're kind?

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Naddd · 16/01/2023 06:14

VioletInsolence · 19/09/2022 21:48

I don’t think that’s the reason. I don’t know what the reason though! I’ve not lived in a council house but I’ve privately rented and those houses have been my home for the couple of years I’ve lived in them. They’ve been looked after the same as I’d look after my own property because why wouldn’t I want a lovely home for myself and my children.

It’s more about background and education I think. I live in a tiny flat and sleep in the living room (and I have two dogs too so extra mess), and it’s spotless and lovely. I have awful mental health problems too. There’s no excuse for antisocial behaviour and as others have said, people defending people who behave in that way haven’t lived amongst it.

Absolutely agree with you! I do not understand the mentality at all. Yes you may not own the house but it is your home.
Why would you want to live and have your children play in a literal shit hole??
I own my home with a shared space, most homes were owned when we moved in. Now rented yes by the "poor", and they are filthy, filthy people. Literally not cleaning up dog shit, apparently they are too blind to see it and should be allowed to clean it up at their convenience. Fridges dumped, rubbish not picked up etc etc The lady who moved out not long ago had piles of dog shit outside her house if you asked her to clean it she would then put it in a bucket also outside! This was after initially completely denying it was her dog! No one else had fucking dogs!

The worst thing no-one else said a bloody word! It was utterly vile and not one other person said anything to her nor reported her.
The same with the "blind" man who cant see his own dogs shit. No one says or does anything. He's fine cleaning it but why should i have to tell you? Every single bloody time! I asked my boyfriend to have a word, thinking perhaps he may take it a more seriously he refused so i had to and was told to fuck off!

I was going to report him and told him so but then thought why should i? No one else cares. No one either says anything or reports him. He has young children why would you yourself create such a filthy, unsanitary environment for your kids? Sod everyone else but happy for your kids to live in a shit hole. The poor bloody dog is never walked either, just let out to shit and then back in.

I spent hours last year cleaning it all up, we get rubbish blown in so all the kids including his could have a clean yard to play in.
Never never again if you want to live in a shit hole be my fucking guest.

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Moobae · 16/01/2023 06:35

Most council tenants are not good neighbours or have social issues.
sell your house and move away from any council block/house/HA ect

I am in social housing saying this.

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Naddd · 16/01/2023 09:41

Being poor or whatever is no reason for you to be a dirty, filthy person and to expect others to put up with your revolting ways is unacceptable.

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Naddd · 16/01/2023 09:48

MsTSwift · 18/09/2022 09:59

Well you bought it if the price is right or low enough someone else will too. My in laws have done similar. That programme is not called location location location for nothing!

Sympathy we had chav neighbours it really is life ruining. All your left wing worthy principles fly out the window when you live cheek by jowl with Jeremy Kyle rejects.

If i told you we had some living next door would you believe me?

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