DillonPanthersTexas
I do realise that this topic is not a laughing matter, but your post made me laugh. Yes, the familiar journey from right-on idealist to maturer realist is a familiar one, and nothing to feel guilty about! Misplaced idealism isn't going to help the OP or anyone else in her position.
I don't think anyone on this thread is being 'snobbish'. On my council estate, all but a couple of families were regular folk, working hard and getting on with their lives. We just lived next door to the horrible ones.
Marx identified this social group as the Lumpenproletariat and considered them to be useless in terms of effecting any social change, never mind helping themselves. The sociological term used to be the 'underclass', but I guess that's not in use now. It does not describe the working class, but a group who exhibit, often over successive generations the following features:
- no working adults in the family
- chaotic pregnancies/very young/underage pregnancy
- anti-social behaviour: noise, harassment of neighbours, littering
- failing to maintain their property and sometimes wilfully damaging it
- misuse of alcohol and other substances
- Criminal behaviour: threats of violence, vandalism, theft
- neglected/abused children who are unsupported at school
- conflict in any engagement with authority, from school to police etc
- rioting
These people are a minority but as PPs have said, it only takes a few families like this to ruin everything for so many others. God, I've got so many examples from personal experience. Anyone who tried to tidy their front garden or even...Heaven forbid - plant flowers, would get it immediately vandalised and have a campaign started against them for 'getting above themselves' (Who do they think they are? They think they're better than us!'
They behave bizarrely, in a way social reformers 100+ years ago would have found hard to believe - eg the rapid vandalism of fantastic play areas provided at great expense for their use. No logic at all - just a vile destructive urge which seems to be their only means of personal expression.
Don't know what the answer is, but it sure isn't pretending it doesn't happen or that all these folk need is a bit of understanding. We need to acknowledge the problem and be honest about it - call a spade a spade, and stop making excuses - so we can start to help these people by being firmer with them.