To ask about council housing?

[Brotherlove]

I'm very sad & confused old member here.
A family member has left her DH taking the children with her. They have been put in B&B or similar, and are saying they will be housed in a few weeks.
I'm confused as there is no DV, the house is jointly owned, children older teens and DH has said come home.
Will the council house them as they think? Or is there no duty on the council as they do own a home?
I think it might vary council to council 🤔 does anyone have any ideas please.
Very sad.

Sorry was trying and failing to tag this!

Let me guess, your daughter in law has left your son?

I think by proof I mean acknowledgement from the teens living in the home that X or Y was happening.
Phone calls to women's aid/police/ other services previously.
Telling family/friends that there is a problem, or presenting as such

You have little idea of DV and I suspect have gained your views from soaps.
Many women suffer DV for years to the point their own children had no idea as hiding the abuse is done to protect them.
Many are not allowed access to phones or the Internet, they are isolated from family and friends by their abusers.
The fear the abuser instills in them prevents them from doing anything.

I am not saying this is true of your situation but I want you to try and understand that the immediate support they have received is a good thing despite you saying its not needed.

Also to make all those checks for proof will require a lot of time and liaising with multiple agencies....what is a vulnerable women and her children supposed to do in the meantime....stay with the abuser? Live on the streets?

No.
family member & close friend coupled.
close to both, love the bones of the kids.
no DV ever suspected or disclosed. If anything the parent has always been fiesty and argumentative, DH laid back.
finances discussed as in oh we do XYZ with our banking, no financial abuse and equal access to monies.
MH in the partner has deteriorated post covid and has been trying to say DH cannot go out, teens need to stay in etc.
family/friends all surprised about the situation, and with the Teens not being spoken to by medical profs, social worker or police it's hard to know what is being accused. The teens have only overheard there is DV and I cannot go home....but is phoning and turning up when unhappy at the hostel.
rightly or wrongly it seems anyone can turn up at council offices, say there is DV and get accommodation (however crappy).
and yes, a house was offered 100s miles away in Wales. And refused.

Obviouwly her accommodation provider should demand the following as a minimum:

Itemised phone bill with relevant calls highlighted
Sworn statements from every known social contact, relative and in-law

My knowledge of DV is not gained through soaps no.
More than happy for help to be given initially as no-one really knows and children need a safe place.
What happens now though is confusing for all, and the allegations or lie will have to continue - while 2 teens wish to be at home with the DH.

What happens now though is confusing for all, and the allegations or lie will have to continue - while 2 teens wish to be at home with the DH.

And all that will come out in time however your previous post was very clearly stating you don't believe any of what's happened should have happened without "proof" I was pointing out how dangerous your stance is and how it shows your lack of understanding around DV.

I understand coercive control and that some people keep abuse secret even from their children in the same house, I do understand those risks and that sometimes it's hidden for years from the outside world etc.
However in this situation there is not DA, and it has been told that there is in order to gain housing. The teens have overhead this..
Not ok. And surely however rare, makes things more difficult for actual DA victims who need support.

Just because you aren't aware of DV doesn't mean it wasn't occurring.
My ex played the 'she has MH issues, I do absolutely everything in the house, she can't look after DC without me' card as well. It worked for a while, until he pushed DS down the stairs after SS gave him unsupervised visits because I was unstable......

Is there a reason why people cannot accept there was no DA?
There has never been Social services involvement, or any previous partners on either side.

However in this situation there is not DA, and it has been told that there is in order to gain housing. The teens have overhead this..
Not ok. And surely however rare, makes things more difficult for actual DA victims who need support

Unless you are living in the house I am not sure you can say that with 100% conviction.

Look I am not saying your family member is abusive all I am saying is do not see the support provided as a negative. Do not say stupid things like "proof" must be provided before support given.

There is no such thing as an order to to gain housing. I know this as I working housing.
Emergency aaccommodation will be provided while further involvement by professionals will be sort before a longterm option.

No what makes things harder for DV victims is people like you demanding PROOF before help is provided.

You really think that not having SS involvement = no possibility of DA?

So I can turn up at the council offices tomorrow, say I'm abused and be housed.
What if we all did that?

You are not in this relationship. You cannot say for certain that no DV has ever occurred. You sound, at best, incredibly naive and at worst you're blaming the victim fleeing a situation. Using her mental health and you claiming she's lying about DV is abhorrent.

The response was to @Paparazzicrap

She's openly lying. Stating it's the only way to get housed.
The teens are witnessing this, and that is my concern.
There is no fleeing victim, just an unwell friend sadly.

You can be in a B&B for years.

I don't know if you clean in a B&B if you're homeless, you wouldn't if you were there on holiday. I don't know if they have B&B reserved exclusively for homeless, so maybe different rules to regular B&B. You could ask the staff who run it if you wanted to find out or ask the DC after a few weeks when they've got a better idea of how things work there.

There's no cooking facilities, so it's cold food, take away or eating out.

There's no washing machine, it's just a room, so she'd use a launderette or handwash in the bathroom. The DC could maybe wash their clothes at dad's place if they're visiting him and could go there for homework help too, if he's wanting to maintain a good relationship with them.

You do not know she is lying for good sake!

I'm guessing you're either OW or mother of the husband. I wish I could live in your oblivious world.
Nobody on this planet can 'turn up at the council offices and be rehoused!'
Abused spouses have to jump through disgusting and degrading hoops to prove it and, in the mean time, kids are left to be damaged even more

If the moral turpitude is getting to you this much, just phone the council and tell them your "friend" is lying to them. Job done, justice served if they kick her out/she has to go back to the husband, eh?

My ex played the DA card against me. Told everyone in our town that I was abusive (small town!). She really did have MH issues (diagnosed years ago with a cluster B), I really did do everything in the house, and she really couldn't look after the kids without me. She'd go out into town, get drunk, get into fights, fall down stairs, end up in A&E and imply her injuries were DV.

In the end, I couldn't cope with her 'for the sake of the kids' any more, so we split up, and obviously she took the kids with her. I was told I had no chance against her in a custody battle.

It worked for a while (4 years in fact), until after multiple social services interventions when they finally concluded she really was unstable and her neglect of the kids was escalated to them being at risk, taking them from her care and not allowing her unsupervised contact. Took me a similar amount of time to 'clear my name' in the community as well - for years everyone believed I was the monster she portrayed me as.

False accusations do happen.

In the local authority I work in the current waiting time for someone to be housed can be up to 2 years. ( This is for priority housing ). I have a young woman on my caseload with a baby on a child protection plan, mental health needs, fled DV and she has been attempting to get a property for 6 months now with no luck. There just isn't enough houses.

your attitude is disgusting. no wonder women are scared to report abuse with people like you around

Your story doesnt add up OP. & You keep drip feeding. Mental health issues. Next, its she hasnt declared house ownership (how do you know unless you were at housing interview with her?)

& now - 'no proof of DV' - essentially saying if a woman hasnt called police or Womens Aid then it didnt happen. Disgraceful thought pattern. She could've been scared to call or tell anyone for all you know

If she wasn't vulnerable in some way, she would not have been placed in B&B. + child under 16 = Childrens Act is equally taken into account. You don't know what went on in the marriage, you just think you do.

Whatever the case neither you or anybody else can force her to go back to her husband if she doesn't want to. & if theres equity in the house she'll be advised and supported to go for sale via the courts, judge can deem that property be sold, and she sort her own rehousing with sale income. If not enough/no equity they'll rehouse her anyway.