Which person is in the wrong here?

[sallylouise2]

Parent A was supposed to be watching toddler in the living room while Parent B made lunch for toddler in the kitchen.

Toddler got out of open patio doors in living room onto a raised wooden balcony where there are steps that toddler could have fallen down.

Parent B went back into living room to ask Parent A something, spotted toddler outside and asked why is she out there? Parent A was sitting scrolling on their phone, jumped up and said they "hadn't realised".

This has caused Parent B to feel stressed and upset that toddler was not being properly watched while they made toddler lunch. This is because of the potential that toddler could have fallen down the steps outside.

Parent A argues that it was Parent B's fault, however, because they opened the patio door a couple of hours prior when toddler was sleeping to let some air in as it was hot in the room.

Parent A believes that because Parent B opened the door, they are responsible for what happened.

Parent B argues that Parent A was the one who was supposed to be watching toddler while they made lunch, and therefore they are at fault for being on their phone and not properly watching toddler.

Who is at fault here?

Just to add:

Parent A was fully aware of the doors being opened a few hours prior, as they were present when Parent B opened them.

Parent A was supposed to be watching toddler in the living room

That's all that needs to be said. They weren't watching them. It's their fault.

Obviously the person supposed to be watching the child but sat on their phone is at fault.

A

A
but if A is that useless a stair gate would stop any issues if toddler did get outside

Parent A. Sadly, parents scrolling through phones while looking after children seems to be the norm these days.

A and is doubly shitty for blaming it on B.

Oh come on, parent A is at fault and knows it. He (?) just doesn’t want to admit it….

Obviously A.

But if I didn’t want a child outside I’d close the door.

Parent A all day long. They're now deflecting because they know they're in the wrong. The whole idea of WATCHING a toddler is you keep your eye on them (maybe even play with them, there's a novel idea!) not get engrossed on your phone.

Parent A (shall we just say Dad?) is obviously firmly in the wrong.

I think the person writing this who is clearly parent b

Parent B is obviously in the wrong because parent B is the mother. Has no one told you that father's are not responsible for anything that goes wrong and if they actually are responsible will find some way to blame it on the mother no matter how tenuous.
I may be wrong though😁

You, for the A and B bullshit.

Well parent A was supposed to be supervising. BUT it is almost inevitable that someone is going to take their eye off them at some point in the future so those steps need toddler-proofing so they aren't a hazard

Thanks all. Just needed confirmation I wasn't going insane. This is part of a pattern of behaviour on his part where I'm always somehow to blame for his fuck ups 🤷‍♀️

This. I'd lay money on it.

And I think parent A is dad for double or nothing.

Try working out how to avoid similar outcomes in the future rather than creating friction by apportioning blame.

I think this just sounds like one of those things that happens when you have a toddler, because all parents are human and lose concentration occasionally, and that A and B will gain nothing from trying to decide whose fault it was and should just be pleased the toddler is OK and move on.

Parent A could have closed the doors. Parent A was charged with watching the DC and the DC escaped. Parent A is wrong.

Parent A is deflecting blame onto parent B instead of taking responsibility for their mistake.

Did parent B superglue the door open? If not then parent A could very easily have closed it. But even so, parent A should have been supervising toddler, with or without the door open.

But nothing happened... A was watching toddler and needs to be more vigilant but is there any point arguing over a non event?

Well I don't really think assigning blame because we can all have moments when we take our eye off the ball. Having said that I think parent A was the one more at fault here as they were the parent primarily in charge at that moment and should have realised that. But parent B is not faultless either. Leaving an open door onto a dangerous area isn't good decision making either. Might be late in the day but is there any safer ways to get air into the room?

I think parent A blaming parent B is a bit annoying tbh, they were clearly more at fault and blaming the other parent while not taking any responsibility is unfair.

It's not really a non event. Like I said, it's a pattern of behaviour whereby I am constantly gaslighted into believing I am at fault where I can't figure out how or why I can possibly be.

Absolutely. Nobody's at fault because there's nothing to blame anyone for.

And I hate the Person A Person B thing when it's so obvious who's who.