To be confused about church baby groups

[Lemondrizzle77]

So I have being doing the rounds on the baby group scene for a short while and have recently been to a few local church and ministry baby groups. They tend to be completely free or a £1 contribution for entire family plus free food and drink.

The one we went to ystrday the people running it were ever so attentive as we were new comers taking turns to sit and talk with us, bring us snacks and waiting on us hand and foot. Of course this was lovely and I was made to feel great especially as in some mums groups I can feel excluded as they can come across ever so cliquey.

I am used to paying up to £10 for my two dcs at the other non religious baby groups.

My husband and myself are relatively comfortable. Perhaps I'm a bit cynical but are these groups aimed at families in the community who are struggling? Or is it a way to recruit more religious members into their community? Or are they just being nice?

My children are small so I am new to the scene. Any sessioned playgroup goers please enlighten me!! I just don't want to be going if the group isn't essentially what I need or what I'm looking for..

I found the church groups excellent, especially the Methodists (homemade cake, no religious chat), the Congregationalists (digestive biscuits, no religious chat) and the Anglicans (no snacks, lots of colouring in Jesus, few rounds of All Things Bright and Beautiful).

None of them tried to convert me, they were all very nice.

@Juicesausagecake what a lovely thing to do!

I’m a retired Methodist minister, and the majority of the churches I’ve had responsibility for over the years have had some form of toddler group at some time.

Believe it or not, when people attend church over many years and repeatedly hear the message about caring for others, being kind and generous etc - some of them take it to heart and act on it. So, for the most part - it genuinely is church people wanting to do something to benefit the wider community, as an out working of their own faith. That includes groups run on church premises by people who are not themselves part of the church - the church will have set the rent at a low level, because enabling the premises to be used is part of their service to the community.

At the same time, I don’t know of a church which wouldn’t be delighted if some of the families who came to the toddler group started to show up on a Sunday.

From when mine were little I recall church groups were the friendliest and best playgroups we frequented. Usually they just asked for a donation or whatever you could afford. They will be hoping to bring you into the church community but mainly just doing a good thing for the community. The ones I went to were run by retired doting grandparent types who clearly loved seeing all the little ones, the people were so lovely and there was no pressure at all to come to church although they always mentioned the services at the end of each group.

Ours are just really lovely people! I'm not religious at all but they do loads in the community for kids and they barely mention religion. The lovely church playgroup we go to is £3.50 and that's half an hour of songs and rhymes, then an hour of play with toys, snacks for kids and coffee/tea and cake for adults. There are two mentions of religion: at the start they say they would love to pray for you if you have anything you want them to pray for and the final song mentions God. Nothing else.

They also do Easter egg hunts, and other family fun days.

My best faux pas ever was reassuring a newbie at a similar group that the lovely old ladies stopped trying to recruit you after a bit then discovering she was a visitor from their sister church 😖

I help run a toddler group in a church hall but I've no connection to the church as we just use the hall.

When mine were little I went to a church group and it was lovely. No pressure at all. We sang nursery rhymes and maybe the odd song like whole world in his hands but there was no pressure to come to church or anything.

I think the old ladies also liked to see the little ones and feel useful to the community as well. Very rare to see the vicar.

My favourite baby groups were church ones and they expected nothing in return.
Every Christmas, one of them would read a nativity book to the kids but that's about as religious as it got.

we love it and it is a welcome change so we will keep going¥

Just to reassure yourselves, you might in conversation with anyone say how much you enjoy it and ask whether they see any obligations as part of your attendance ?

I'd expect them to say 'of course not' but it might set your mind at rest to hear it.

My experience is most of them are just run by people volunteering for the community.
There was one I went to that was a more evangelical church but their recruitment attempts were still limited to handing out the odd invitation to church events e.g. at Christmas.

I'm very glad these groups exist - I'm not poor but also not rich and the cost of all the paid classes adds up and it's good to get out of the house.

I used to help at a church toddler group. I think it was £2 per family. Parents got coffee and biscuits, toddlers got drinks snacks and a craft activity that they could take home (could be a collage, handprint, a sunflower seed they had planted etc) Mums got flowers when they had a new baby and on Mothers day. Children got (Christian) books at Easter and Christmas. That was what the donations were used for. Everyone there was a volunteer.

The religious element was that they were invited to Carol Services or other sociable events at church from time to time. (And we prayed before the children and families arrived)

Churches just like serving the people in their community. It's sort of what they do. They don't do it for a return, neither do they only want particular sorts of family. Middle aged and older people often love to be around kids. That's what they get out of it.

Two of my friends run them in churches and are not religious in any way, nor are they members of the church who’s room they use!
i went to another church one whne my daughter was little that was ran by the church members and they never even once mentioned anything about god/Jesus.
i do the same church’s food bank for my clients and they do shout ‘Jesus loves you!’ on your way out but I quite enjoy that!

I used to volunteer run a church playgroup and I am firmly an atheist.

As a previous poster pointed out, the venue is free and it's run by volunteers.

Not one but of churchy stuff was ever pushed on anyone by anyone in our group.

(The vicar was lovely though!)

The baby/toddler group that was run in a church near me was fantastic, it was so popular sometimes you couldn't get in! They had loads of toys, a big space, plus tea and juice/biscuits and only £2 donation to get in. My dd still talks about how she loved it.

We aren't religious at all but it didn't matter, a bible story was read at the end of the session but you weren't forced to join in!

Good kind people and I was grateful for them.

The ones I know of and have been to are just nice groups run by nice volunteers who want to do something nice for their community. I wouldn't over think it.

When my children were little I used to go to a church baby group that was run some older ladies who just loved children. 2 of them were retired nursery workers. They were very welcoming if anyone wanted to go to the church but there was no pressure to do so. I never did.

Churchy folk aren't always trying to convert you. It might just be that they run the group because they love that stuff. It could be their way of giving back to others (being religious and all) or see it as a sort of duty to do something community minded? Or they could have set it up so they had an accessible playgroup that's not cliquey because that was their experience too?
I used to run a £1.50 playgroup with loads of food and drinks available and 3 whole rooms full of various toys. Not religious in any way. It was packed every week and people loved how it was anything but cliquey.

Churchgoer here whose church runs one. There is absolutely no attempt to guilt trip people into coming to church - we see it as part of our mission to the local community. Many families cannot afford more so we charge £1 per family and offer it as a meeting point for mums or other carers with play, toddler crafts, stories. We do have a Christmas party with the nativity story and often sing Christian songs for children and the great majority do come to our christingle service, but there’s no recruitment agenda, honest!

I also went to two church groups for first time this week and thought they were great! I've never believed but i like all the trappings of church and it has made me wonder how devout one needs to be to get more involved. I very much doubt anyone will pressure you to get more involved, theyee just generally being Christian and helping parents and kids which is really nice

It depends on the church. I used to go to the church playgroup which was very much the local community playgroup and it was great to meet other families living nearby. The volunteers running it were all neighbours too.

The church then got a new vicar and became very evangelical (though still C of E), and the vicar's wife took over the playgroup. Volunteers were replaced with church people, the session would always start with a prayer, and end with religious songs (rather than the usual Wheels on the Bus, Wind the Bobbin Up etc). Personally, as a non-Christian, I started to feel less comfortable, especially as it was very explicitly evangelical and very earnest. I don't think I was the only one, as church families started to outnumber local families. Unfortunately, there were no other playgroups in my local area.

When you have babies church groups and libraries are your friend. Didn't set foot in either during my 20s (maybe the odd wedding...church not library) and then spent my early 30s basically living there with my babies.

When you have babies church groups and libraries are your friend. Didn't set foot in either during my 20s (maybe the odd wedding...church not library) and then spent my early 30s basically living there with my babies.

Our Church toddler group has many people who don’t come to the church normally, although actually most tend to at Christmas and even Easter. They are as much a part of our church family as those who are church members etc. In fact one of the current helpers started off just visiting with her baby (now in year 2!) and comes to do an activity with the little ones every week. Another now helps with our Seniors fortnightly lunch club. They like the sense of community. Oh and actually the husband of another lady does some plumbing stuff free of charge too.