To be confused about church baby groups

[Lemondrizzle77]

So I have being doing the rounds on the baby group scene for a short while and have recently been to a few local church and ministry baby groups. They tend to be completely free or a £1 contribution for entire family plus free food and drink.

The one we went to ystrday the people running it were ever so attentive as we were new comers taking turns to sit and talk with us, bring us snacks and waiting on us hand and foot. Of course this was lovely and I was made to feel great especially as in some mums groups I can feel excluded as they can come across ever so cliquey.

I am used to paying up to £10 for my two dcs at the other non religious baby groups.

My husband and myself are relatively comfortable. Perhaps I'm a bit cynical but are these groups aimed at families in the community who are struggling? Or is it a way to recruit more religious members into their community? Or are they just being nice?

My children are small so I am new to the scene. Any sessioned playgroup goers please enlighten me!! I just don't want to be going if the group isn't essentially what I need or what I'm looking for..

I used to run one, it was for everyone. It was popular because there were volunteers to hold your baby while you got a cup of tea. It was entry by donation, you could put nothing or a couple of pounds in. We also welcomed child minders which lots of groups don't so it gave a bit of continuity as some of them were there for several years. We would invite people to Christmas/ Easter services, but no pressure. It was cheap as no overheads. Just enjoy it!

It's a recruitment thing and a public service thing.

Perhaps I'm a bit cynical but are these groups aimed at families in the community who are struggling? Or is it a way to recruit more religious members into their community? Or are they just being nice?

I think they are just trying to express their faith and values practically, to benefit the community - "put their money where their mouth is", if you will.

I am sure they would be delighted if some of the visitors decided to join their congregation and probably hope some do - and that is OK, as long as people are not pressured or guilt-tripped to do so.

I went to a lit of church ones and then volunteered at one until covid. It was just a nice community thing no ulterior motive. Plus the old folks usually run them and they love the kids.

This is such a lovely post, thank you @Juicesausagecake

Unless things have changed dramatically over the last few years, they are not there to recruit you into the church.
My children went to a 'mothers and toddlers group', and a 'playgroup' from the age of 3.
Both held in the church hall. No Problem.
So the Playgroup leader, also went to the church, but no one preached to me, no one asked me to go to church.
It just so happened that church halls (and now quite often the actual church), are often the only large space around.

I attended a church toddler group when mine were little. Literally the only times it was religious in any way were at Christmas when the gift from Santa at the (free) Christmas party was usually a child's book of part of the Nativity story, and when my DS was born he was gifted a toddler bible. I'm not very religious at all but was not in the slightest offended, it was just like a picture book and I found it sweet.

The other thing is groups that cost £10 a session are usually structured activities - baby music, baby sensory etc and are businesses. Church groups are in the church hall with donated toys and volunteers, £1/child/week is plenty for a few craft supplies and biscuits!

I help to run one of these (although I have two young children with!, so I'm not the most useful helper!).

The low costs are because the church provides the building and covers heating toys, etc. The leaders are all volunteers. The money is a contribution towards drinks, biscuits and craft materials but is voluntary. It's £1 per family/childminder at mine.

We want to show love to the families in our community. Jesus loved and welcomed little children and so do we. And all the leaders understand it can be hard and isolating with a baby or toddler.

We have a bible story at ours, and usually one or two of the songs are explicitly Christian. The craft is related to the story. We're not hiding that we love to share our faith. And when we pray for the people who come, we pray for situations in their lives that they've told us about, and we also pray that they'll come to what we'd call saving faith.

So yes, we do hope for converts I suppose, although we don't care whether it's this week or in 20 years, or whether they join our church or another, or whether we even find out about it in this lifetime.

But there's no underhandedness about it. And our love and concern for the mums (and dads and grannies and nannies and CMs etc) who come is genuine. Some have become good friends. I hope they'll be "saved" one day, but even if I somehow found out that would never happen, I'd still want to be their friend just as much.

Sorry, that ended up a bit long...

I used to attend one and it was by far the best one in the area, the helpers were really lovely and the whole atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, it even had a waiting list because of how popular it was.

Nobody ever attempted to recruit me, the only time religion was bought into it was in the singing section at the end where a couple of the songs were about god, I'm an atheist and had no issue with it same as I had no issues singing about Humpty Dumpty who I also believe never existed.

I helped run our church one because I wasn't working and love babies. My toddlers could play with people who found them fun, and I became locally known as the baby whisperer and got to sleep many a colicky baby while mum relaxed with a hot drink for the first time in days. The cost of other types of baby groups is for profit, the £1 is to cover your tea and biscuits. We don't secretly recruit people via some vast baby group ring. 😂

I used to go to one. There was a "toddler service" at 10am then the playgroup, about half the people attended playgroup only. It's usually run by mum members of the congregation simply to serve the local community. My area was very wealthy but the contribution was still only £1/2 for the family to cover your coffee.

It was a great way to meet people as a lot of the people were members of the congregation so aware we were supposed to be welcoming and nice to new people. It was a really good way tp get local primary school info lol

I'm my experience of going to them, the religious content and 'sell' ranges from:

None
Mentioning the times of their services
A Christian song to finish at the singalong
A Bible story and a song

They do it as an act of Christian service and for community. Of course they love it when people start coming along to services, but I've never been anywhere where is pushed, usually just the times mentioned.

I think they're just trying to be nice really. I know people who are openly other religions who are welcomed in the same way

Our local one is not “recruiting”, I’m vehemently atheist but the one in our village is just a cheap place to go and the small fee is just to cover the refreshments and to make it inclusive. I couldn’t actually go much as it was off for most of my mat leave due to
Covid and it clashes with work now but I went a few times and it just run by nice people with tea, squash, biscuits and ancient toys (I loved the vintage playmobil especially!).

The Sunday School thing they do at ours is definitely for recruiting families but the parent and baby/toddler group is definitely not.I don’t think you need to be on guard @Lemondrizzle77

One I went to was 50p kids loved it was so cheap so all in community could attend. They would read a bible story (at toddler level) but kids didn't have to sit and listen and at Christmas had a special session but never once did I feel they where trying to get me to join church.
I wish I was religious as I would of joined as such a lovely group (I went to a couple of ladies evenings run by them).
Just enjoy it and enjoy their company (the ones helping often have older kids and have a lot of good advice I found)

We go to one that is £1. I do think it is a little bit recruitment, but I don’t mind. Not religious.

I guess it varied, but I used to go to an inexpensive toddler group run by the local free church. I'm an atheist, and even I didn't give this a second thought. There was no real sense of it having anything to do with the church at all, apart from being in the free church hall, though in retrospect I'm pretty sure it was run by church members. It was just the only group of that kind in the village!

Provided you are not made to feel uncomfortable by any religious aspect or pressure, I wouldn't over think it and keep going if you like it.

I live in Northern Ireland (relevant as divided communities historically) and am an atheist. Some catholic friends and I go to the local free CofE one. I know one friend in particular like us is a high earning family. No one tries to ‘recruit’ us. I’ve offered to donate money, biscuits, anything and they won’t take a penny. As far as I can work out it’s just a community service they decide to provide!

In an area I frequent, they have a morning cafe and baby morning at a church and it's always excellent and attentive service.

I used to run a baby/toddler group for my church.

Most baby groups have to rent the hall they operate from - churches tend to have a hall they can use. It does mean they can't rent it out to other groups that morning, and they need to heat it, but that cost is basically not there.

Most baby groups need to make sure they have insurance - a church group will be covered by the church's insurance.

Some baby groups are run by people as a business, so they need to make an income; church groups are normally run by volunteers.

The franchises probably have to pay a whack for that.

So, all in all, the costs for a church-run group boil down to the refreshments, consumables such as craft materials (our toys were almost all donated), and a contribution to the heating (which the church may be happy to absorb as part of their contribution to the local community).

Our group didn't actually charge a set amount - we just said that donations towards the refreshments and craft materials were welcome. That way we didn't exclude anyone who couldn't afford it. Some people probably put in just enough to cover the consumables; some probably put in whatever they were paying at other similar groups - which is why "donations" may actually bring in more than "£1".

As for how they are run and the motivation, the balance will vary, but may include service to the local community, opportunity to meet church members, chance to advertise church events, telling children Bible stories and teaching them Christian songs and rhymes, stepping stone to coming along on a Sunday morning, etc. They'll usually welcome everyone, regardless of faith.

I am part of a church toddler group. We have around 80 children per week so we are meeting a community need.

There is absolutely no pressure to 'join' the church, whatever that means. We do invite families to Christmas activities, and others, such as Mothering Sunday and Harvest. Our job as Christians is to spread the word, which basically means inviting.

The attendees of our group very much reflect the make-up of our local community, so not at all white skinned Anglicans.

In terms of money, we don't charge, but are happy to accept donations. The donations work out about £1 per child (£1.25 with Gift Aid). Most of the money is in the form of £2 coins or notes, so plenty are getting in without having to pay anything. As I said, we invite the whole community. We give out tea/coffee, cold drinks and lovely fruit pots for the children, so we probably don't profit.

In the words of St Francis - preach the gospel at all times, without words.

My experience is that the people who give up their time to run these sorts of thing are Christians who believe reaching out to children & families is a core part of the religion.

Don't be fooled though, there is a often a very mild (and usually completely ineffective) evangelising motive in their too, simply in that it gets you into a building where there are posters for alpha courses everywhere, they can mention events that draw a wider community like christmas services and easter, and on a basic level they sometimes sing mildly religious songs (carols etc at christmas) and it's all exposing children on some level. If there are people open to considering religion already it's another way to reach those people. Where I lived these more religious aspects barely intruded, I think they just wanted community element of running the playgroup really. It's a charitable thing of supporting the community.

I went to loads and was never recruited!

They were all just really lovely groups, my favourite kind after children's centres were shut down. All of them run by really lovely people. Nothing not to like.

In our church, it's not 'recruiting' - but we know we've got an ageing congregation so this is one of the ways we justify to the church hierarchy that we're making an effort to be involved with children and parents in the community. A church is meant to be part of the local community. If someone came and it helped them feel comfortable about coming to other church events, that's nice, but it's not why it's done.

My church is soon going to be running groups like this and from our perspective, it's really just an opportunity to show some love and help to the community we're based in. Obviously if people decide to attend a service, then great, but there's no expectation that will happen. Some of these groups are also able to get grant funding so that's another reason why it's cheap.