To be confused about church baby groups

[Lemondrizzle77]

So I have being doing the rounds on the baby group scene for a short while and have recently been to a few local church and ministry baby groups. They tend to be completely free or a £1 contribution for entire family plus free food and drink.

The one we went to ystrday the people running it were ever so attentive as we were new comers taking turns to sit and talk with us, bring us snacks and waiting on us hand and foot. Of course this was lovely and I was made to feel great especially as in some mums groups I can feel excluded as they can come across ever so cliquey.

I am used to paying up to £10 for my two dcs at the other non religious baby groups.

My husband and myself are relatively comfortable. Perhaps I'm a bit cynical but are these groups aimed at families in the community who are struggling? Or is it a way to recruit more religious members into their community? Or are they just being nice?

My children are small so I am new to the scene. Any sessioned playgroup goers please enlighten me!! I just don't want to be going if the group isn't essentially what I need or what I'm looking for..

The church groups I went to were just people doing a nice thing for the community. I'm not religious but found the local Cof E community to be lovely. When I went to fetes and events with a baby and toddler there was always someone offering to do some colouring with the older one while I fed the baby, bringing me tea and generally being lovely. No one ever tried to recruit me.

Church baby and toddler groups are often community based and lovely in my experience. I found them much better and friendlier than expensive groups.

I used to love going to the church run toddler groups when mine were little. They were cheap, had volunteers already recruited to deal with the money, make the drinks, wash up (I also helper to run a toddler group on a different day and it was a nightmare to get people to help out even a small amount), play with the dc and sit with mums and chat to them.

there was never an expectation that we went to church, although family services, especially at Christmas were advertised (in that a poster would go by the sign in sheet and the lady who took the money would point it out to you), but we never pressured to go.
I think they are an excellent way for the church to be part of the community and reach out to those who otherwise might not be able to afford to get out to groups with their dc. (My sil pays £1.50 for Church run toddler group and sensory baby is £8 a session).

I'm an atheist but I ran the playgroup on my day off in our local church hall. We charged just £2 a family - tea/coffee and squash. We had a grandma who did the tea and coffee. It wasn't anything to do with the church - their hall was just cheap. It was run by Mum's so costs were really low costs where as other groups are obviously making. profit / paying for staff. I passed on my duties once my daughter was old and bored of it - but groups did struggle for volunteers

Don't overthink it OP
Its been a very very long time since I took mine to Baby and Toddler Groups but the best one, by far, was a popular Church ran one.
Yes,, they do try to get you to attend Church but they do not go on and on about it and if you decline, all is good.
One thing though that everyone enjoyed, parents and toddlers, was their yearly Christmas Party inside the church itself (Playgroup was in a hall adjoining said Church) and there was a little service for the Children then time to play and eat and drink,

These kind of things used to be normal. I used to run lots of free or virtually free children's activities. This is what being a community used to mean.

I have been to this sort of group as well as the more clicky/less friendly fee paying kind.

The church groups are just trying to build community. Don't try to read anything into it, just enjoy their wonderful hospitality. You'll probably find after a couple of visits that you become more comfortable in the church group environment.
For the record I'm not a Christian / churchgoer and have no interest in joining the faith side of things. But I did appreciate the community and have made one or two lifelong friends there, after familiar faces cropped up again in life when the DC went to school

My Grandma is very churchy (high CofE), she loved doing stuff like this until her age got the better of her. It's just doing a nice thing for the community - she loves being part of the local community, and she also quite enjoys cooing over babies I think.

We go to a church for mothers and toddlers. I guess essentially there is an element of spreading the gospel as how would you tell someone what you believed without getting to know them but for the most part it's just opening up their church and allowing people to feel more comfortable in that setting. We get free coffee and fresh cake and snacks for the kids and they give us a present at Christmas. It's the only group I've found that isn't cliquey and we love it and don't quite know what to do with out Thursdays during the summer when it's off.

I went to a lovely one on maternity leave. There was no pressure to join the church, the volunteers just want to help the community. I'm a bit sad that it closed and now I'm pregnant again and it won't be there this time. Other groups are more structured and expensive and less good for befriending other mums I found

I volunteer at my church's baby group. We charge £2 because we don't want to make a profit and we know while some mums aren't struggling for money, others are. But we are not targeting struggling parents specifically. We want as many people as possible to come as possible no matter what their financial circumstances

I've worked in churches that run them and there's no expectation that people will ever attend the church, it's just part of our service to the community. When I had young dc, I attended one in another denomination where it was a standard toddler group but at the end of the songtime they sang one Christian song (which people were free to join in with or not) and they would invite everyone as a group to the weekend services. There was never any individual conversation about it or attempt to convert people. There's a bit of variation in whether church run groups will do any evangelisation at all, but even in those that do it's very minimal and never an expectation that anyone will want to come to church, or be unwelcome at the group if they don't.

We're just about to start one at our church as there is demand in the local area. It's primarily a service to the community but I'd be lying if I said we wouldn't be delighted to see some young families coming along to regular services as well.
We intend to charge a minimal amount but it would be wrong to say as a pp did that the building is there anyway, almost as though there are no running costs. Our utility bills have gone through the roof!
If op can afford to give more, perhaps put it in the collection plate or use the contactless machine if they have one.

They've probably been going for years run by volunteers. One near us was the standard £2, cup of tea and a biscuit with parents volunteering and doing a sing along at the end. One of the parents then set himself up doing baby music charging £10 a class for what he'd been doing at the sing along at the end previously

The one I run is in a church but it’s not a church group. I’m an atheist, friendly with the vicar who often attends as she loves children but there’s nothing religious about it at all. It’s a suitable venue with kitchen and loo and plenty of space to play safely. The cost covers a small contribution to the church’s costs and snacks, drinks, toys etc. It ends up costing me a bit here and there but I wanted somewhere to take my DD and there weren’t any groups where we live.

It’s a community thing, no agenda bar people getting together for a hot drink while their babies and young children play safely and socialise.

We went to a really popular local one once with a friend who was very religious. It was a normal playgroup for 90mins and then we suddenly had 30 mins of hymns and sermons from a (lovely) vicar. I was really shocked as I just expected a playgroup - not sure why in retrospect. I had to break out my CoE early schooling days to try and remember the hymns!

my husband is hugely anti church stuff though so we didn’t go back as it didn’t feel right.

I used to volunteer at one and I'm an atheist. They aren't generally trying to "recruit" although the minister would do a short relaxed sort-of service near Christmas and Easter telling the story in age-appropriate language for a toddler group.

Everyone involved was a volunteer, the church provided the room free of charge. The £1-2 fee was to cover the cost of the tea, coffee and biscuit and cleaning supplies. Every half term we'd spend a morning cleaning all the toys and mats etc.

Our area was relatively affluent but had some pockets of poverty. It wasn't about provinging a service for familiers in povert specifically, it was providing a sense of community to everyone.

Many of the volunteers were retired women who enjoyed spending time around small children again.

I stopped going after reading their 'rules' about dc being raised by the community and being able to tell off other people's dc. Turned in my chair to chat to the woman next to me and caught a lady helper tapping dd's hand for not sharing.
Dd was 8 months.

The ‘recruitment’ is for you to witness what Christian service means. It means being kind, non-judgmental and welcoming. You can take it and bring your child to bask in that human warmth or not. Christians hope that others will see how a life of service to others is the right way to live. Faith in Jesus is another level and Anglicans are not usually evangelisers so it’s ok -you can relax! My children really benefitted from being around family events at our local church. It’s a lovely gentle expression of spirituality (which happens to be innate in all children).

Well this makes me feel old. Tbh, when my kids were little, twenty odd years ago, there weren't any fee paying groups that I knew of apart from the odd baby music or yoga type thing - and these were few and far between. All the groups I went to with the girls were in church halls or chapels and run by volunteers, not all of them from the church. No question of recruiting., just good community service. A pound, or 50p to get in. You could join the rota to help - or not, up to you. It was a bloody lifesaver. I had my suspicions that things have changed and the fact you found this playgroup strange kind of proves it OP. Keep on OP, sounds great 😊

Usually has nothing to do with religion, they just have a community space that wouldn't be used otherwise. It's often run by volunteers, who either enjoy it or feel they are doing good work, so are often more enthusiastic then the more expensive groups that are run by someone trying to make a profit, with all the stress that goes with that. The people running the church hall group also probably only do it once a week, so give it their all, whereas someone who's job is running groups/ classes could have several a day.

Yes echoing other posters, I’ve never had any experience of a church trying to recruit this way.

I’m Catholic but have attended both Catholic and COfE churches for many different baby groups over the years. The Catholic groups I used to go to often had parents who are keen to get entry to the attached primary school so were trying to ‘show their faces’ early so to speak!

Of course if you feel uncomfortable anywhere perhaps stop going, but you may be overthinking the ulterior motive point.

Alternatively if attending church is suggested, it may be being done in a community spirited way, letting you know you are welcome etc rather than being a condition of you attending the baby group.

Community has died. The number of people who still do community things just to help out is tiny. Now it is all commercial. Very sad.

They charge so little because they don't have to pay for room rental and it is run by volunteers. They are not trying to recruit you!

My DM used to run a church toddler group with her friend.

Neither of them gave a stuff about recruiting converts and if the church did, it never mentioned it to them.

It was something the church had always done and my DM loved meeting new people and toddlers.