AIBU?
AIBU to think most kids hate school
StitchInLime · 16/09/2022 07:54
It’s not just mine but other people’s kids too from
talking to other parents. Most school mornings are a battle to encourage them in. ‘I have a bad tummy’, ‘my leg hurts’ ‘I don’t want to go to school’. It’s all made worse by the fact we have a family member (my nephew) who is home schooled so they see there is a possibility NOT to be at school.
Maybe it’s normal. Most of us, when faced with being forced to drag our arses out of bed to go somewhere and do something we’re not always enthusiastic about (work!) don’t adore it. But we’re adults so don’t try to manipulate our ways out of it (most of the time). Has it got worse since the pandemic?
Or are the kids I know unusual cases? Do your kids love school?
I guess I’m just sick of the daily battle on school mornings. We always say school is important, plus we can’t always lounge around at home as life isn’t fulfilling that way, this the routine and learning is good. But still, the morning drama!
Am I being unreasonable?
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Grissini50 · 16/09/2022 10:51
Are you talking primary or secondary? Mine is Y3 and loves school. Gets upset if she has to miss it for any reason. Was devastated when she had covid last year and couldn't go. Actual heaving sobs. She is very sociable so likes seeing her friends but also seems to love the learning. We aren't sure if this will last, but so far so good.
Sonichodgeheg · 16/09/2022 11:03
Moonface123 · 16/09/2022 08:05
We are conditioned in the UK to think school is the only way to gain an education and God forbid if your child dislikes it or worse still developes an anxiety disorder because of it, then you are really in deep trouble.
My eldest sailed through school no problem, my youngest mananaged to stay in the school system until aged 13 when he developed an anxiety and panic disorder. The school were more concerned about his attendance than his wellbeing. HS has been a huge success, his MH is so much better now , he is studying A levels and working part time, so it very much depends on your individual child.
There is a huge amount of ignorance concerning alternative educational routes, my youngest son is actually alot more self disciplined and motivated than my eldest. Eldest is doing well, but youngest is unstopable.
👏👏 Great post. So glad your youngest is doing so well now. School isn't the only way. Not by a long shot. Just as you cannot force a square leg into a round hole, the school system cannot possibly suit every child.
Lakalla · 16/09/2022 11:08
Ive worked in schools i think it’s harder for the young primary children to enjoy it, it’s such a long day and there are so many rules to follow. I’m not looking forward to when mine starts reception next year he hates nursery as it is , I think they start school too young.
musicaldilemma · 16/09/2022 11:09
3 of my DC love school - all very sociable people driven DC. They love the stimulation. 1 quieter DC “tolerates” school. He would love to be homeschooled - but because he is OK there I wouldn’t do that. Adult life and work will require compromise and social skills. This DC has a very high IQ and interest level way beyond his peer group.
Of course, for DC miserable in school it is a completely different matter. We know several kids who hit preteens/teens and couldn’t cope in school either due to high functioning autism or anxiety disorders. In those cases, the kids were either homeschooled and more recently are getting funding for tutors or online schooling.
Booklover3 · 16/09/2022 11:12
Mine hated school. We had tears every evening at bedtime and again in the morning. It was very painful dragging them in. They are home educated now. No more tears or them pretending to be ill.
I don’t remember hating school particularly. I do believe in education and have a masters degree. I guess everyone is different.
sóh₂wl̥ · 16/09/2022 11:24
Their enjoyment has waxed and waned over the years - often with things I can't control their teacher(s), topics friendship groups peer behavior.
I think when they struggled with academics in early years that made it harder for them to enjoy many aspects but support at home eventually made a difference.
The secondary completely changed since we sent pfb there - it's gone down hill - lots of disruption and noise but they still seem to prefer being in school than on line learning at home.
I don't think they love it - but know they have to go and need good qualifications at end. Some of DD2 friends are starting to frequently truant - and I'm hoping that doesn't spread to her.
I hope they don't dislike it as much as I did - I often dreaded going in on Monday but I loved learning so preferred lesson in secondary to primary teaching I got.
10HailMarys · 16/09/2022 11:30
I was chatting to my teenage nephew about this the other week and he feels about school exactly the same way that I did when I was his age.
He doesn't mind the actual work at all (he's very academic) and he also likes his group of friends and plays in the football team. But he hates the fact that he has to get up early every day and go and spend a whole day doing work that he could have done in about two hours if he was just to left to his own devices at home; he hates all the tedious things like assembly and lunch queues and having to wear a blazer all the time, and he hates all the constant gossip and friendship dramas that go on in his year group, and he finds it annoying having loads of people around him all the time, and basically he just likes a bit of peace and quiet. And I was just the same. I didn't mind schoolwork and I had brilliant close friends, but I was bored by the slow pace of lessons and hated all the dramas, and the kids who behaved like dicks, and the pointless fuss and petty rules, and getting up and going out early etc etc. I was really just happier doing my own thing!
StitchInLime · 16/09/2022 12:39
Reading these posts have really helped me (and some have make me laugh too! I mean, the idea only kids from chaotic non-academic households hate school is laughable. You could say that kids who love school are the ones who need to get away from their chaotic homes… which I KNOW isn’t true by the way! I loved school and had a great family life). Anyway! I definitely think a lot of it is the getting up early and changed and made to sit still etc. They do really well at school, and have lots of friends. I clearly
exaggerated when I said ‘hate’. I just find it so stressful and get so worried it’ll become a big thing as I’ve seen how it’s impacted a family member, this school anxiety issue. I really appreciate your posts though, have helped me.
hellswelshy · 16/09/2022 13:06
10HailMarys · 16/09/2022 11:30
I was chatting to my teenage nephew about this the other week and he feels about school exactly the same way that I did when I was his age.
He doesn't mind the actual work at all (he's very academic) and he also likes his group of friends and plays in the football team. But he hates the fact that he has to get up early every day and go and spend a whole day doing work that he could have done in about two hours if he was just to left to his own devices at home; he hates all the tedious things like assembly and lunch queues and having to wear a blazer all the time, and he hates all the constant gossip and friendship dramas that go on in his year group, and he finds it annoying having loads of people around him all the time, and basically he just likes a bit of peace and quiet. And I was just the same. I didn't mind schoolwork and I had brilliant close friends, but I was bored by the slow pace of lessons and hated all the dramas, and the kids who behaved like dicks, and the pointless fuss and petty rules, and getting up and going out early etc etc. I was really just happier doing my own thing!
Great Post, you've summed up how my dc feel about school much better than I did 😊
YukioMishima · 16/09/2022 16:12
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YukioMishima · 16/09/2022 16:14
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zingally · 16/09/2022 16:50
I loved school. My DH claims to have neutrally about it. Didn't mind going.
Of our 2 DCs, our son loves school, is very academic and would go every single day if he could. Our DD liiiikes school but... it's just a place to see her little mates! If she never went again, she wouldn't be fussed.
JazbayGrapes · 16/09/2022 16:54
All normal kids hate school. OK then. So people who become successful and achieve highly are all "abnormal" then?
What a moronic thing to say.
Success has nothing to do with loving school. Plenty of highly successful people did badly at school and behaved badly. Those who "worked hard" usually end up working hard for someone else, not necessarily high earning or recognized.
Buzzinwithbez · 16/09/2022 18:45
All normal kids hate school. OK then. So people who become successful and achieve highly are all "abnormal" then?
What a moronic thing to say
Interesting assumption. I hated school. I got good grades and am successful. Dh was ambivalent at best, got poor grades and fell into the right niche at 16 and is successful.
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