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AIBU to think most kids hate school

124 replies

StitchInLime · 16/09/2022 07:54

It’s not just mine but other people’s kids too from
talking to other parents. Most school mornings are a battle to encourage them in. ‘I have a bad tummy’, ‘my leg hurts’ ‘I don’t want to go to school’. It’s all made worse by the fact we have a family member (my nephew) who is home schooled so they see there is a possibility NOT to be at school.

Maybe it’s normal. Most of us, when faced with being forced to drag our arses out of bed to go somewhere and do something we’re not always enthusiastic about (work!) don’t adore it. But we’re adults so don’t try to manipulate our ways out of it (most of the time). Has it got worse since the pandemic?

Or are the kids I know unusual cases? Do your kids love school?

I guess I’m just sick of the daily battle on school mornings. We always say school is important, plus we can’t always lounge around at home as life isn’t fulfilling that way, this the routine and learning is good. But still, the morning drama!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

SallyWD · 16/09/2022 08:09

Mine don't. It's never been a battle to get them in and they've always enjoyed it (despite my son having selective mutism when younger and generally finding life hard). They do appreciate weekends and holidays though.


Bickles · 16/09/2022 08:12

Do you remember how sad and lost most kids were when schools closed due to Covid?
DS definitely likes school but doesn’t like getting up in the morning! He never tried to stay off though.
I’d worry your child was unhappy at school if they actively try to get out of going.


WimpoleHat · 16/09/2022 08:15

My kids don’t hate school - but they prefer the weekends and the holidays, which I think is a good sign really!

What age are your kids? I definitely think some school years are just “harder” than others.


Porcupineintherough · 16/09/2022 08:16

I wouldn't say ds2 hates school but he really doesn't like the whole rush/getting ready thing in the morning. Also homework. However one thing lockdown showed him was that he's not cut out for home education (except maybe unschooling and I'm not up for that). And he doesn't fancy going out to work. So, well, school it is.


ThisisCollie2022 · 16/09/2022 08:19

I obviously gave birth to an anomaly then because he loves school.

Anyone remember that part where Hermione was gutted because Dumbledore cancelled the exams to celebrate?

That's exactly what my son is like 🤣


yikesanotherbooboo · 16/09/2022 08:21

I think that most DC like seeing their friends, messing around at break time and the routine of school. On top of that many DC like some other aspects eg sport or art or doing well or whatever. I don't really agree with the language of 'liking 'school however as I think it sets them up to expect fun and games or to feel that there is something wrong with them if they don't 'like' it.


BertieBotts · 16/09/2022 08:24

Nobody likes being told what to do and not being able to choose. Even if you like parts of school there will be parts that you feel are boring or annoying or just not in the mood for.

A bit like work really. You can like your job but still rejoice in an unexpected day off!


sliverpink · 16/09/2022 08:25

Honestly the vast majority of people that ive spoken to have said they loved primary and didnt like secondary. I think that saying something as someone who doesnt have experience


bofski14 · 16/09/2022 08:28

During lockdown, I asked my DD what she missed about school - play time (except when the bullies come over) and the lunch that was a slice of pizza, once every three weeks. We HS now and she's so much happier 😂 I don't think school is for everyone.


TinyTear · 16/09/2022 08:30

my two love school. lockdown helped realise being home is boring...


BecauseICan22 · 16/09/2022 08:32

15, 10 and 8. They have always LOVED school. In fact, when things have been hard (a Divorce, Bereavement etc) school has been their one constant and provided structure and security for them.

I know as a lone parent for 7 years, the times when I was on my knees, school was what kept me sane and my children healthily distracted and growing in their development.

YABU, schools are so much more than just an education.


orangeisthenewpuce · 16/09/2022 08:33

Not in my experience. Mine loved it. I worked with children and families in schools and out of schools and the vast majority of children liked school


LuluBlakey1 · 16/09/2022 08:34

DS1 and DD love it - I am amazed that DD (Y1) does but she does. They are both in primary school so no idea what they'll be like as they get older. DD is upset that she can't go to school on Monday 😁


BecauseICan22 · 16/09/2022 08:35

Needmorelego · 16/09/2022 08:07

There is such a lot of pointless faffing when it comes to school. Uniforms for a start. Having to wear such restricted clothes from a young age. Homework from such a young age - special 'family tasks' to do on the weekend. Make a cake together, go to the park and collect leaves etc. All those dull reading books and reading diaries and "you MUST read for 15 minutes each day".
It's just off putting to enthusiastic learning. Makes everything a chore.
And then secondary....urrgh. Everything is about "this is important to your GCSEs....exam, exam, exam..." and "if you don't do this now in Year 7 you will FAIL your GCSEs" and then they spend to much time caring about the colour of socks rather than finding out a child's interests and giving them actual career/job advice and helping them choose a decent path.
It's all just so tedious.

Do you exhibit these thoughts and feelings around your children?

It isn't a school's job to help your child choose a career path. It is their job to provide opportunities and information.

Guidance, conversation, understanding and support needs to come from home.


ProperSorryFrown · 16/09/2022 08:37

I hated school.


ThisisCollie2022 · 16/09/2022 08:38

Make a cake together, go to the park and collect leaves etc but that's standard parenting and standard family activities?

OP you're attitude is setting your children up to fail but no doubt you'll blame the teachers


ThisisCollie2022 · 16/09/2022 08:39

Sorry I meant to tag Needmorelego


CurrentHun · 16/09/2022 08:44

I think for a lot of kids who don’t find the social or academic side of school straightforward, school is a daily stressor. Not necessarily anything to do with parenting, just temperament. It’s just the luck of the draw.


Devilsfoodcake · 16/09/2022 08:45

It's not a cliché if your kids like or love school! Some do and some don't,it's always been that way. What a silly thread. I hated it. All my children really love school, it might change but for now they really do, have the odd problem or bad day but they all enjoy it. How cliché of me! 😂


mscampbelle · 16/09/2022 08:46

ThisisCollie2022 · 16/09/2022 08:38

Make a cake together, go to the park and collect leaves etc but that's standard parenting and standard family activities?

OP you're attitude is setting your children up to fail but no doubt you'll blame the teachers

You're misunderstanding @ThisisCollie2022 - yes families do those things at the weekend, but it's the being forced to do them on a schedule by someone else. I wouldn't want my private time dictated to by my boss.
I have jobs or activities at the weekend, or I'm away visiting family etc.
I don't need to be told how to fill my leisure time, and families don't need to be told either.


Buzzinwithbez · 16/09/2022 08:49

I hated school, but I think I masked it for the most part. Loved sixth form but it wasn't until uni that I realised I wasn't carrying the anxious, painful knot in my stomach that had accompanied me right through school.


museumum · 16/09/2022 08:51

Depends on age. The vast majority of 9yr olds I know like school a lot.
By 15 I’m sure that will have decreased.


NovaDeltas · 16/09/2022 08:55

Not really, no. Children brought up around the importance of education, lots of books, educated parents etc, they love school. The ones we see with fake illnesses and bad behaviour come from the disordered families where academic prowess gets them called 'little swots', where absence and sickness are rewarded and where bad behaviour is praised as 'just the way they are'. Those families spread and encourage that behaviour among themselves by swapping tales of their kids' various needs and demands and declare it's all the school's fault.


Tiredalwaystired · 16/09/2022 08:55

Theoretically I guess it could be the school itself that’s a problem if everyone you know is saying their kids hate it - it’s a fair assumption that most of the people you’re chatting with about it are local to you and your kids go to the same place.

Were lucky to have a brilliant comp near us and all the kids seems really enthusiastic. They have loads of extra curricular activities there too and they are always rammed after school. If school was awful I would have thought the kids would do anything in their power to get away from there.


hewouldwouldnthe · 16/09/2022 08:56

9 yo DS like school. No problems getting up and dressed. Always seems happy at school, although loves the weekend more. His love of school though is slightly dimming as he goes through the process because it's more work. I'm not sure how secondary will go.

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