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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hand in my notice at work

75 replies

ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 07:51

I've NC because I don't want this thread connected to my previous ones as fairly outing to some.

I have worked in my workplace for around 13 years. Fairly demanding job but I work part time (mornings), so not too bad.

My role has changed since September which I agreed to because of the way it was 'sold' to me but the intention was that it would hopefully only be for 6 weeks or so. Fine.

However, it is becoming very clear that this is likely now to be extended for at least another 10 months and I hate it. I mean, really hate it.

I am early 50s, not in amazing health particularly, feeling quite bogged down right now and I have approximately £60k from an inheritance from my parents.
(DH is self employed and also has some inheritance money too.)

WIBU to hand in my notice and just take some time out for a bit? I earn around £10k a year and DH is being fully supportive of whatever I decide because he can see how unhappy I am right now.

What would you do?

OP posts:
DenholmElliot1 · 16/09/2022 08:00

I'd resign too if I had an inheritance, hated my job, had bad health and a supportive husband.

You're actually in a really strong position.

youlooklikeapenis · 16/09/2022 08:02

What's the downside?

LittleBearPad · 16/09/2022 08:02

Is there anything that could fix it - if you were happy before?

If not and you’re unhappy then leaving doesn’t seem unreasonable

Bebobebo · 16/09/2022 09:26

Definitely resign! You'll feel so much happier. I was in a similar position (though without the inheritance), left my job, took 6 months to work out what I wanted to do, while doing a bit of volunteering (to keep busy) and some private tutoring (to earn some money), and now have a new part time job that I love. Everyone I meet these days says how well I look compared to how I used to look when I was in my old job. Good luck!

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 16/09/2022 09:31

I’d just tell them that the role is not for me, refuse any extension, and return to my normal job.

you liked it before, so I wouldn’t give up without having that conversation first

Original poster
ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:27

@youlooklikeapenis the downside is that I largely really like the people I work with and I would be letting people down. It won't be easy to fill my position and I'd feel really guilty for putting them in that position.
I keep telling myself that's not my problem but I've worked with these people for years.

OP posts:
Original poster
ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:31

@LittleBearPad I would be happier to go back to my old role but unfortunately it isn't possible right now because the need for me to carry out the new role is too great.
If I had been told truthfully what the new role would likely look like (to be fair they weren't totally sure), I'd have most definitely handed my notice in back in July!

OP posts:
purplepandas · 16/09/2022 12:33

Yes, life is too short. Good luck!

Original poster
ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:34

@Bebobebo that's really interesting to hear! I keep thinking of all the things I could sort in the house etc and just not have to worry about the stress of work.
I just feel so bloody guilty for letting people down and wondering if I haven't given it enough time but I'm really not enjoying it and can't even bear the thought of working a month's notice!!!

Oh I don't know 😞

OP posts:
Original poster
ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:37

@KleineDracheKokosnuss my DH says to talk to them first but I definitely can't go back to my old role right now because this role is needed much more and so it's on hold.

OP posts:
NipplesSkywards · 16/09/2022 12:38

Making yourself miserable not to upset people is mad . We are all dispenserble
Put yourself first , go out there and enjoy your good fortune!

Original poster
ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:39

@purplepandas that's what I'm thinking! Life is too short to feel this unhappy in a job that isn't for me anymore.
I just feel so torn.

OP posts:
SparklyLeprechaun · 16/09/2022 12:40

How easy is it going to be for you to find a part-time role in the future? That would be my main concern. Or are you planning on retiring soon?

MiniDinosaur · 16/09/2022 12:40

Talk to them first, but be honest about how poor a fit the new role is and that you feel you will need to resign. You never know, their need to retain you may be greater than their need to keep you in the current, awful, role. You have nothing to lose!

Violettaa · 16/09/2022 12:41

You say that your new role is needed too much to let you go back…. But if there is any need for the old role, and they’re serious that you will quit rather than do the new one, they might listen.

Its worth a go at least.

Whichever way - don’t dare stay because you worry about letting people down. YOU are the important one in your life. And the company has shown you that they’ll let you down if it suits them.

tickticksnooze · 16/09/2022 12:44

£60k won't last that long. Considering you're early 50s what's the long term plan here?

It sounds a bit of a knee jerk reaction. At least talk to them about moving to your old role before completely packing it in.

Dixiechickonhols · 16/09/2022 12:45

A lot depends on skills and how easy to get job in sector plus your finances. You aren’t old and potentially may need to work again for another 10/15 years. Plus impact on pension.
If you’ve been there 13 years you may have perks like extra hols, paid sick pay.
If you like mornings only pt how easy to get another job - they are very popular hours with mums.
Just thinking you don’t want to end up working full time in a couple of years missing your old job.
I’d certainly speak to job and say I agreed 6 weeks. What is situation? If they want you to keep doing new role and you hate it then yes resign but I’d at least give them a heads up after 13 years. You don’t want to resign and them say why didn’t you say of course you could have moved back.

Redqueenheart · 16/09/2022 12:46

I would speak to them and state clearly that this is not the job you expected and that you are not suitable for it. Tell them you cannot agree to an extension and that you would like to go back to your old role.

The initial agreement was that you were to provide very short term cover, not that you would take this on for months.

They should be hiring someone to cover the additional role.

If they won't reverse to your old role I would also speak to ACAS about this to get some advice as to whether this is a redundancy situation and what the best way to go about it is rather than just resigning.

Because you don't want to miss on a redundancy package after 13 years which they would have to give you if your old role is now redundant and there is no suitable alternative for you to take on (which is sounds like there isn't).

I think the employer is actually trying to get away with quite a few things: not having a proper redundancy consultation, not hiring additional staff and almost forcing you to leave without having to pay you a redundancy package.

You can then enjoy some free time if this ends up in you being made redundant but don't let them get away with shortchanging you.

Lcb123 · 16/09/2022 12:46

If it’s a substantial change to your job description, and longer term, that constitutes a redundancy situation. They need to consult you on this. Might be worth discussing with your manager, if you’d like to stay but in your original role.
otherwise if you can afford to, then definitely take time off but it might be hard to go back to that workplace

FrownedUpon · 16/09/2022 12:50

What’s your pension like? 60k won’t go very far at all if it’s to last through your retirement.

Regularsizedrudy · 16/09/2022 12:55

ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:27

@youlooklikeapenis the downside is that I largely really like the people I work with and I would be letting people down. It won't be easy to fill my position and I'd feel really guilty for putting them in that position.
I keep telling myself that's not my problem but I've worked with these people for years.

Your don’t owe them anything so you’re not letting people down. And sorry but everyone is replaceable

ByeByeMr · 16/09/2022 13:03

Of course YANBU. Go for it!

abovedecknotbelow · 16/09/2022 13:15

ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 12:27

@youlooklikeapenis the downside is that I largely really like the people I work with and I would be letting people down. It won't be easy to fill my position and I'd feel really guilty for putting them in that position.
I keep telling myself that's not my problem but I've worked with these people for years.

No one is irreplaceable. You won't be letting them down you are living your life.

My concern would be what if it's hard to get back into the workplace if you need to? 60k is a nice buffer but it won't last forever.

felulageller · 16/09/2022 13:34

Get advice from your union first.

Explore every option prior to quitting.

Original poster
ohwhattodo4 · 16/09/2022 17:29

MiniDinosaur · 16/09/2022 12:40

Talk to them first, but be honest about how poor a fit the new role is and that you feel you will need to resign. You never know, their need to retain you may be greater than their need to keep you in the current, awful, role. You have nothing to lose!

I am really hopi g this will be the case!

OP posts: