To hand in my notice at work

[ohwhattodo4]

I've NC because I don't want this thread connected to my previous ones as fairly outing to some.

I have worked in my workplace for around 13 years. Fairly demanding job but I work part time (mornings), so not too bad.

My role has changed since September which I agreed to because of the way it was 'sold' to me but the intention was that it would hopefully only be for 6 weeks or so. Fine.

However, it is becoming very clear that this is likely now to be extended for at least another 10 months and I hate it. I mean, really hate it.

I am early 50s, not in amazing health particularly, feeling quite bogged down right now and I have approximately £60k from an inheritance from my parents.
(DH is self employed and also has some inheritance money too.)

WIBU to hand in my notice and just take some time out for a bit? I earn around £10k a year and DH is being fully supportive of whatever I decide because he can see how unhappy I am right now.

What would you do?

Thank you to everyone that has replied so far because I really appreciate people's perspectives.

To address a few points ...

I certainly can't go into retirement now. The idea would be to take 6-12 months off. Hopefully time to give my head a break and to sort house things etc out.
I'd then intend to get back into work. So would probably eat into about £10k of my inheritance. Maximum. Hopefully.

This is one of my worries too though because my line of work is all I've ever done since I left college!
I don't really know how to do anything else.

I would happily go and work in a supermarket for at least what I'm earning now without the stress but I just don't know.

Oh and I'd love to work from home doing something 'crafty' but I'm shit at that 😂

One part of me hasn't been happy for a good while (even before this change) but I tolerated it because it's very convenient with proximity and holidays and I felt like I was achieving etc but I just can't do this new role for months on end.

I am going to take the advice here and voice my concerns next week and see where that leads me. Eek!!!

I just worry that I'll regret the decision to leave because my job title covers a myriad of job roles and I absolutely can't take them for redundancy because my title definitely covers what they're asking of me, it's just that I made it clear years ago that my strengths didn't lie in that area and yet here I am! Hating it!!! And they absolutely did not make it clear that what am I doing now, is what they thought might happen.
That will definitely feature in my conversation to them!

I need to have a chat. I need to lay down my cards and then take it from there I suppose.

I would also start looking at other part time jobs to get a feel where you may have transferable skills. I have previously started a conversation with my line manager saying I am not totally happy in my current role and to let you know I have started looking around at other options

Resign. Life's too short to be unhappy at work.

@jellybeanteaparty go you! I'm not sure that would go down too well where I work but I admire your directness and honestly to them!

Look for another job right now doing literally anything it’s always better to be in a job when looking.

Speak to your workplace and see if any changes can be made.

A 60k buffer will not last as long as you think especially with inflation. What is your pension like, do you have one as well as a full state pension ? Your DH being self employed is difficult in this situation. Does he offer a service that will still be in demand or is it one people will cut back on as non essential as inflation rises.

I jumped off the wheel at 50 and began a whole new career in photography and music .... got a bit of real life back!

Do you have a decent pension? If not id whack everything into a pension but quit and get another minimum wage job whilst you figure things out. But I'm boring and sensible like that...

@Caroffee that's the conflict in my head to be honest.
What if I don't have long left - because none of us actually have a guarantee.
Why I am I spending my time in a job that I'm really, really not enjoying right now when I'm 'lucky' enough to have a buffer right now to take some time out.

Crazy I know but I've asked my mum and dad to give me a sign that I'd be doing the right thing, as I'll be using some of their inheritance to allow me to take some time out!!!

I know my mum would support it but not so sure my dad would!

I just don't want to regret my decision and burn my bridges and have to start again in a new job in my 50s but on the other hand, I keep thinking, I just don't want to feel this unhappy in my job right now because what if and all that.

Your parents would want you to be happy and the fact that their inheritance would enable you to have the security to leave your job is a sign of that. Life is short and if it's causing you stress to the point of considering quitting then that's not healthy.
Have a conversation with them, hopefully they will be supportive, and if not you have your answer.

My mum died this year at 66 so my perspective has really changed the last few months. Take some time for yourself to do the things you love, your health will benefit from it. Good luck.

Also, is a career break and option for you?

You could look at it like you’re leaving a space for someone else who would really value the job
rather than leaving your current colleagues in a difficult situation ( I recently resigned and my head spun at how quickly they got someone in!)

I think that if you really hate the job then you should leave, normally it’s wise to have something to go to but it seems you will be alright in the short term

Thank you so much for this.

My mum died when she was 64. I'm early 50s. I keep thinking, 'What if I die early too?'!

Should I just put all my worries aside about getting another job next year etc that used to be as convenient as this one was, or should I stick it out?

@Heatherjayne1972 I don't doubt they'd have to sort someone pretty damn fast because I am more than aware that nobody is indispensable!

This thread is really making me question things.

I will 100% voice my thoughts next week. I guess what happens from then, determines how I go forward.

If they acknowledge my thoughts and address my job role, then on one hand I'll be delighted but then again, I've let my head run free with ideas of not working and sorting my house etc!!!

I've got to talk to them and take it from there haven't I?

Why would it be difficult to fill a £10k /yr position? It's not a high salary by any stretch of the imagination unless I'm missing something.

Are you working in a school?

There is a huge shortage of teaching assistants and often the admin roles in schools need people too. You could definitely leave your job, have a break from it all then find a position that is term time only. Equally, with the shortage of TAs you could request mornings only and schools would be grateful just to have someone to fill the position and help. You'd get similar pay.

Something to consider.

I think the fact you are having these thoughts say a lot. If your work did accommodate you and change things up would you actually feel a little disappointed?
Honestly, I'd go with your heart. You have the money behind you, take some time to your self. Do the things you love while your health allows you to. And as you do them think of your mum and how happy she would be that you are doing that.

I have a friend who handed in her notice last year, took some time out and walked straight into another job when she was ready - they had a pick of three admin type roles. They are 60 so age is not a barrier atm in getting work

fo for it

I was 56 when realised that a temporary, filling in role was actually made permanent. ( and yes, I involved the union who were amazing.)

The union and Occupational Therapy forced my bosses to allow me to go back to my previous role.
Sadly, I only lasted less than a year as my bosses were clearly rather annoyed with me for standing my ground and I left.
I'm so grateful of my savings as I could just leave.

I don't understand how it is that you are doing something so specialised that it would be difficult for someone else to do and are only earning 10k?!?

Anyway, if you dread going in to work each day I would either hand in my notice now, which you can afford, or go the more traditional route iof getting another job and then resigning. It sounds like you could really use the break though & shouldn't be too hard to find another job in 6 months with your experience.

How about using your financial buffer to re-train in some kind of self-employed work?

I have never regretted leaving a job when I was unhappy; I have only ever regretted staying too long after I began feeling that way. And no, I am not a serial job-quitter. I'm talking about jobs I have done for 5 - 10 years.

I persuaded a friend who was very stressed and unhappy in her job to drastically reduce her hours. She is much, much happier.

Not being rude, but if your earnings are £10k pa, the organisation is not solely dependent on you doing the new "temporary/not temporary" role.
If faced with the alternative of you not being there at all, they may well suddenly find an alternative solution.
If you are stressed, why not discuss with your GP and see if they thing you would benefit from being signed off for a couple of weeks? Or if you feel uncomfortable doing that, tell your employer that you are feeling stressed by the situation and need to take a couple of weeks unpaid leave - NOW.
Use the time to think about what you'd really like to do.

My advice would normally be to resign - the market it pretty bouyant at the moment, but it sounds as if you really like the organisaiton, but not this particular job. Maybe a couple of weeks might help you to realise that they're using your loyalty to sell you a different role that was supposed to be part time but clearly isn't - and give you the confidence to go back after a couple of weeks and negotiate.

Why would it be difficult to fill a £10k /yr position? It's not a high salary by any stretch of the imagination unless I'm missing something.

Aw bless, that's a sweet thing to say to the OP who's concerned about letting people down. You're a darling!

As pp said, i would put in a sick note with the detail work related anxiety. Take a few weeks & then when you feel ready to have a conversation.

From their perspective the new role youve been covering is going to need filling anyway. Either because they move you back to old role or because you resign.

From their decision you will be able to gauge how valued you really are.
If they are unwilling to take onboard your decision, then pull the pre-writteb resignation from your bag & part as friends.

Dont hesitate to use your inheritance. Its their to make life easier & you have your dh support - good luck OP

@hippoherostandinghere in answer to your question, I think potentially I would be a little disappointed if they said I could go back to my original role, or at least very similar, simply because I'm thinking I need some time out.

You said to do the things that I enjoy and then think of my mum. That's got me blubbing!!! What a lovely way to think of it. Thank you.

@wherearebeefandonioncrisps this worries me too if I end up staying because I'd hazard a guess that one or two people wouldn't be best pleased with me either!