Is grit and resilience really the answer?

[Grittymadness]

The DC's school has been doing lots and lots of work on the importance of having emotional grit and resilience. Growth mindset and determination to achieve.

There seems such a focus on this in schools and I have a problem with it I'm struggling to articulate. It's like it's all down to the individual - if your not achieving or coping you just need to toughen up, work harder etc. (This is hard to process when say your child has learning difficulties, poor mental health etc).

Does anyone else agree, or am I just being overly sensitive and need a bit of resilience myself 😂

One Remembrance Day, when I was teaching Y6, I read them a (children's picture) book about a soldier who went to war and didn't return. The story focused on the inter-generational memories - it was the child's grandad who had gone to war. No graphic violence - very soft-focus, gentle but powerful words.

I got a parent in complaining that I'd made her daughter sad. I explained that the story was sad, and that it was fine for the girl to feel sad - that was the RIGHT reaction. Obviously I wouldn't have read this with say, Year 1, but really, by Y6 you've got to know that the world is sometimes a sad and cruel place.

On a slightly different topic - I used to get cross with the oft-chanted mantra to small children: 'You can do anything in life, if you want it enough!'

No, no, you can't. When my daughter told me this (she was in Y2) I was really thrown, because, while I don't like raining on parades, it was such a stupid, brainless idea and bound to set kids up for disappointment. I said 'Well, sometimes, but I would have liked to be a prima ballerina but with my physique it was never going to happen, however much I wanted it!' I do think some of the Disney-fantasy stuff we tell children is bad for them and does NOT help with resilience.

I have a friend who is cross because her Year 7 kid is reading a book at school that uses words like ‘natives’. She is raging at the school but I think she’s doing a huge disservice to her DD in protecting her from mildly offensive words in a work of fiction. Kids need to be exposed to reality.