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AIBU?

To think 3 friends having babies within a month is a pregnancy pact?

57 replies

CowOverMoon · 15/09/2022 19:45

So I know of 3 women, all in long term relationships, who are due (first child for each of them) within a few weeks of each other. They are a close group and do everything together. Does this seem like a pregnancy pact? Or just very fortuitous timing?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

252 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
96%
You are NOT being unreasonable
4%
britneyisfree · 15/09/2022 19:47

Maybe maybe not.

Why does it matter?

Barleysugar86 · 15/09/2022 19:48

I'd assume just timing. I think friends often reach the same life stages very similar times. I had my baby within a few days of one of my friends having hers, neither of us knew we were trying.

minipie · 15/09/2022 19:49

What do you mean by pregnancy pact?

More likely they just shared their TTC plans and influenced each other/ thought it would be nice to all have the same timing.

Stichintimesavesstapling · 15/09/2022 19:49

Pop over to the ttc boards and see how easy it is just to plan a pregnancy to sync with your mates.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/09/2022 19:49

When are the babies due? Maybe there were all Christmas shagging or summer holiday conceptions or something.

It sounds like you’re feeling left out?

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 15/09/2022 19:50

If they did it as a pact then they all got bloody lucky with conceiving quickly.

broodybadger · 15/09/2022 19:51

Could be either

I had a pregnancy 'pact' with my best friend and it worked out well

We wanted to be able to share our maternity leaves and child care when we went back to work

Ifiwasabird · 15/09/2022 19:51

Me and my oldest friend just had babies within 2 weeks of each other. I'd been trying for 3 and a half years. She'd been trying 6 months. These things are a lot harder to plan than you think.

HousePlantNeglect · 15/09/2022 19:52

Stichintimesavesstapling · 15/09/2022 19:49

Pop over to the ttc boards and see how easy it is just to plan a pregnancy to sync with your mates.

Exactly this.

x2boys · 15/09/2022 19:53

How on earth could they ensure they all got pregnant at the same time?
Even if they all were planning on conceiving its very hit and miss wether you conceive or not .

ODFOx · 15/09/2022 19:57

Euros win? The Ashes? Valentines Day? NYE? June weddings?
IME this is much more likely due to happy accidents related to a significant date that a pact, which would be odd.

PinkButtercups · 15/09/2022 19:58

Why does it bother you?

CowOverMoon · 15/09/2022 20:02

I was just curious, it just seemed… unusual….

definately not jealous - I’ve got my dcs - and we’re way past the baby stage (I loved it, but no need to go back for more )

OP posts:
Equiphant · 15/09/2022 20:04

a huge percentage of people don’t conceive first try - after that, it’s a bit of a lottery when you might get lucky if trying. Practically impossible to engineer 3 simultaneous ones on purpose.

my birthday is in november, however, and i’ve always met a lot of people with the same birthday - took me ages to realise it’s 9 months after valentines!

broodybadger · 15/09/2022 20:05

x2boys · 15/09/2022 19:53

How on earth could they ensure they all got pregnant at the same time?
Even if they all were planning on conceiving its very hit and miss wether you conceive or not .

No one can ensure anything

But many women, especially those in their peak fertility years don't have to try for too long before getting pregnant

HardLanding · 15/09/2022 20:05

They could all shag without contraception at the same time, yes. Would it guarantee a pregnancy that month for each woman? Absolutely not. Give your head a wobble.

Bugbeau · 15/09/2022 20:06

Me and two of my close friends ended up having babies very close together (3 days apart for me and one friend). It definitely wasn’t a pact, just a happy coincidence. I had previously had a late miscarriage & was trying again, one friend got pregnant the first month of trying and one had been trying for over a year. It was just lucky and made for a lovely maternity leave.

MikeWozniaksMoustache · 15/09/2022 20:07

If they did it seems like incredible luck that they all managed to convince so close together. But does it matter? 3 good friends with 3 babies all the same age, as a PP said able to share mat leave, socialise the babies together. Sounds ideal. I would have loved that experience with a friend .

MrsTimRiggins · 15/09/2022 20:07

I dare say it’s just happy coincidence.
Anecdotally, of my friendship group of six, five of us had babies within 3 months of each other… and the sixth was within the same year.
I tried for 18 months, one friend tried for 2 months, one had a contraceptive failure… and so it goes.

ZoeQ90 · 15/09/2022 20:08

🤣😭 tell me you've never struggled to conceive without telling me you've never struggled to conceive. Lol. You can't plan these things, however much you might like to.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 15/09/2022 20:08

I know sisters who had dc1 within two weeks and dc2 within a week, and when one announced dc3 everyone looked to the other.

Sunnyqueen · 15/09/2022 20:09

If they are all fairly young and fertile could be wouldn't be too difficult.

DarkShade · 15/09/2022 20:11

Friends can be at similar stages in life, also maybe you're more likely to keep an accidental pregnancy if your close friends are pregnant? I don't know.

Me and my two closest friends bad babies within a few weeks of each other. One of us had been trying for two years, one it was their first try and the other it was an accident! But similar life stages, similar point in jobs and relationships.

fairgame84 · 15/09/2022 20:13

4 of us at work are all due within a month of each other.
I was ttc for 14 months, another was for 8 months, one for 1 month and I'm not sure about the 4th.
It's coincidence.
It would be incredibly lucky if all 3 of your friends planned and got pregnant at the same time. Ttc is hard.

sparechange · 15/09/2022 20:16

My best mate and I had our first DCs 2 weeks apart

Mine was after 4 years of TTC, 11 rounds of IVF, a stillbirth and 2 miscarriages

hers was after 4 or 5 rounds of IVF

Neither of us told the other we were doing IVF, and definitely didn’t have a pact

Ive lost count of how many times people have told us how clever/lucky/sneaky/organised we were to be able to coordinate it

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