AIBU?
Is it ever ok to wish someone dead?
GhostFromTheOtherSide · 15/09/2022 17:58
A family member’s ex has been diagnosed with lung cancer. His sister lives in the same street as my parents.
They have fallen out monumentally and she has gone NC. TBH I think it’s 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. He’s a miserable so-and-so, and she is possibly the most bitter person I have ever come across who doesn’t have a good word to say about anyone.
So I recently saw her in the trees and I asked if she’d heard how said ex family member is, and her response was: “dead hopefully.”
Now, I think that there are people whose death might not particularly come as bad news, Fred west, Harold Shipman, someone who has committed a hideous crime.
But is it ever ok to actually wish someone dead? In this instance I think that wishing him dead is a step too. Far, regardless of the circumstances.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
ddl1 · 15/09/2022 18:02
It's not nice. (Though I wouldn't much mind if Putin, for example, dropped dead.) But wishing someone dead isn't actually going to kill them! One should not say it to someone to whom it will cause distress; but just thinking it is harmless.
Grandeur · 15/09/2022 18:06
Some people can deliberately make your life hell, so I would say it's okay under those circumstances.
MessyBunPersonified · 15/09/2022 18:07
Why did you even ask, knowing they are on really bad terms?
What she said is a pretty average response when asked about someone you don't like imo.
You would also be on here writing a post if she had broken down in tears about it I imagine
PaddleBoardingMomma · 15/09/2022 18:10
In an ideal world I’d be all live and let live, forgive and forget, be at peace with yourself…
In reality I’ve silently wished a few people dead in my time for making my life utterly miserable at times! Would I say it out loud? Probably not, but frankly there are some utterly vicious cruel people in the world and I’d be lying to say the world wouldn’t be a better place without them.
hattie43 · 15/09/2022 18:20
Depends who it is . I can absolutely see that if the person severely hurt you and yours you could wish them dead .
KrisAkabusi · 15/09/2022 18:21
Of course it is, because thinking it won't actually kill them.
MrsTimRiggins · 15/09/2022 18:23
It was a bit unpleasant if you to ask her how this family member is, given you know she is NC. Talk about stirring it.
Navigatingnewwaters · 15/09/2022 18:24
Unpleasant but it won’t change the outcome for the person being wished dead
MrsTimRiggins · 15/09/2022 18:24
I didn’t answer the actual question there. Hmm, I don’t know tbh. I’ve said similar about my awful, abusive father. Someone asked me how he was and I said something like ‘surprisingly he hasn’t raged himself into an early grave, mores the pity’. I’m a good person generally but he’s a fucking piece of shit 🤷🏼♀️
Robin233 · 15/09/2022 18:25
@KrisAkabusi
Absolutely
You can say it
But you can't actually cause their death by wishful thinking.
What that will do is harm you.
Bitterness won't help.
Best ti let it go
Royalbloo · 15/09/2022 18:26
Maybe/maybe not. But it's ok not to care either way if someone has damaged you.
SmugglersHaunt · 15/09/2022 18:26
I think it’s fine! I think it quite vigorously about a family member often. I find it helps release my anger.
I’m not at the voodoo doll stage yet, but can’t promise anything.
dudsville · 15/09/2022 18:27
Our thoughts raise up all kinds of things both inside and outside of our values. Added to that you're asking if it's OK for other people to have thoughts outside of your own value system. This simply isn't something we can govern.
Royalbloo · 15/09/2022 18:27
I used to wish someone dead, then they died and I felt shit. Much better to just not care at all.
ParkheadParadise · 15/09/2022 18:31
Yes
I wished the evil bastard who murdered my dd dead.
I seriously thought about getting him done in when he walked free from court. He lived in my hometown in the same street as my sister.
He died 4 yrs later unfortunately no-one murdered him he died of a overdose.
I fucking still HATE him.
SpinCityBlues · 15/09/2022 18:33
ParkheadParadise · 15/09/2022 18:31
Yes
I wished the evil bastard who murdered my dd dead.
I seriously thought about getting him done in when he walked free from court. He lived in my hometown in the same street as my sister.
He died 4 yrs later unfortunately no-one murdered him he died of a overdose.
I fucking still HATE him.
Oh my dear sweet lord above, what you must have been through.
It's all right to feel these things. Wishes are not actions. 
Noteverybodylives · 15/09/2022 18:36
I have read some awful things and it makes me re-think my views on the death penalty (of which I am against) but ultimately the worst is punishment is your own conscience and it’s something you can never run away from - so for that reason I would never wish anyone dead because I think that ends their suffering which isn’t fair.
Wibbly1008 · 15/09/2022 18:36
If you met my ex mil you would wish her dead too…evil in a dress
Ambertonix · 15/09/2022 18:41
Absolutely it is ok. I read terrible things on the news and wish people dead all the time. Plus i wouldnt shed many tears if my ex or ex in-laws died soon either. As long as it is only a thought and not a direct threat to anybody, it is fine to fantasise about it.
Vampirethriller · 15/09/2022 18:42
I wish the man who trafficked me dead, I wish him a slow and painful, undignified, terrifying death.
maddiemookins16mum · 15/09/2022 18:43
I want to wish someone dead. She’s an evil, cruel, cow. I hate her with every bone in my body. I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire.
However, I know if she died, her (adult) children and grandchildren would be sad and I don’t want that.
CaptainCorellisBagpipes · 15/09/2022 18:43
IMO, OP, It's not OK to wish someone dead.
It's better to leave judgement up to God and set your mind on nicer things.
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