Is it ever ok to wish someone dead?

[GhostFromTheOtherSide]

A family member’s ex has been diagnosed with lung cancer. His sister lives in the same street as my parents.

They have fallen out monumentally and she has gone NC. TBH I think it’s 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. He’s a miserable so-and-so, and she is possibly the most bitter person I have ever come across who doesn’t have a good word to say about anyone.

So I recently saw her in the trees and I asked if she’d heard how said ex family member is, and her response was: “dead hopefully.”

Now, I think that there are people whose death might not particularly come as bad news, Fred west, Harold Shipman, someone who has committed a hideous crime.

But is it ever ok to actually wish someone dead? In this instance I think that wishing him dead is a step too. Far, regardless of the circumstances.

[TimBoothseyes]

I wished the old man, who constantly beat me with his walking stick, dead on many occasions when I was growing up. The fact that he was my DDad's father made no difference.

[Stompythedinosaur]

Of course it is ok. Thinking something isn't the same as acting on it.

There are some awful, horrible people in the world. People shouldn't have to limit how much they hate their abusers, for example.

[Bretonbear]

It's ok to wish whatever you want.

[KiraKiraHikaru]

Oh god I wish my ex dead everyday!

[Thedogscollar]

@CustardySergeant

What was she doing in the trees?

Exactly what I thought🤣🤣

[NumberTheory]

I think it’s rude for her to draw you into her feelings in the way she did. But that’s very different from it being “wrong” to feel that way. I think on the whole it’s likely going to be better for people to move on but I don’t think it’s wrong and can often be quite understandable to wish someone dead if they’ve badly harmed you or people you care about, especially if you know you aren’t their only victim.

Whether your relative’s feeling are proportional to the harm done to her I don’t know. But I also think “Dead hopefully” is a phrase that is said a lot more than it’s truly meant.

[CaptainCorellisBagpipes]

BTW OP, you're a bit late for both Fred West and Harold Shipman - both hanged themselves in prison.
Fred West in his remand cell on 1st January 1995 and Harold Shipman in 2000

[TheWayoftheLeaf]

I mean it depends what she feels. To many it's just empty words. Wishing doesn't have any affect.

[Gilead]

I’ve frequently wished my mother dead, but she’s 87 this year and dsis informs me she’s still trundling along as bitter and twisted as ever.

[Octomore]

@MrsTimRiggins

It was a bit unpleasant if you to ask her how this family member is, given you know she is NC. Talk about stirring it.

This. Is it ever OK to ask people how their relation is when you know full well they aren't speaking?

You also don't know everything that went on between them, so you have no right to judge.

[Octomore]

I think it’s rude for her to draw you into her feelings in the way she did.

It was rude of the OP to ask the question at all.

[Americano75]

@ParkheadParadise

Yes
I wished the evil bastard who murdered my dd dead.
I seriously thought about getting him done in when he walked free from court. He lived in my hometown in the same street as my sister.

He died 4 yrs later unfortunately no-one murdered him he died of a overdose.
I fucking still HATE him.

I think this is absolutely understandable and I'm glad that cunt's dead.

[Americano75]

@Vampirethriller

I wish the man who trafficked me dead, I wish him a slow and painful, undignified, terrifying death.

Me too. I'm glad you survived that.

[EllaPaella]

Yes it's okay to wish someone dead. I would say that under some circumstances it's an entirely normal human reaction.

[GhostFromTheOtherSide]

@CaptainCorellisBagpipes

BTW OP, you're a bit late for both Fred West and Harold Shipman - both hanged themselves in prison.
Fred West in his remand cell on 1st January 1995 and Harold Shipman in 2000

I wasn’t saying that I hoped they were dead, but it being something to think good thoughts about when they died.

When Harold Shipman killed himself David Blunket was criticised for saying he felt like opening the champagne. And actually it was no great loss to the world when he killed himself. Even his victims’ families have since said that the truth would never have come out so his being dead was better.

[GhostFromTheOtherSide]

Ooops I meant I met her in the street. … <note to self to remember to proof read>.

[OneTC]

I wouldn't ever personally but I don't dislike anyone enough anyway. Some people might genuinely feel that way and perhaps they have a justified reason for it.

[OneTC]

I did like the casual "saw her in the trees" bit.

As you do

[TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination]

@Vampirethriller

I wish the man who trafficked me dead, I wish him a slow and painful, undignified, terrifying death.

@Vampirethriller

Oh god, I'm so sorry that happened to you

I think it's entirely justified to wish him dead. Entirely.

and @ParkheadParadise as I've said in the past, absolutely justified!! I could do it to him with my bare hands for you xx


My EX inlaws were truly awful
people. I didn't ever verbally wish them dead, but knew many people would be far better off when they were.

they died at different times & my only thought was that the world was a better place.

@GhostFromTheOtherSide I wouldn't see that as 'wishing them dead', simply acknowledging they'll be happier when they are. I think there's quite a difference.

[pointythings]

I think it's fine. It can be the thing that gets you through the day. I wished my late husband dead - he was an abusive alcoholic. When he died, all I felt was relief. After his death, my DDs disclosed just how bad his abuse had been. We are all still working through the consequences and it's 4 years on now.

Moving on will come in its own time.

[MrsDThomas]

i wish a few people dead. I hate them, one threatening my family.

id be happy when he goes.

[CallMeLinda]

I don't care at all if my abusive parent (NC) dies. It will not in any way affect me. They are already dead to me. I've not gone so far as to wish them dead, but I can why people might. I wouldn't judge them for it.

[Octomore]

You haven't explained why you thought it was okay to shit-stir by asking her about him.

You have no right to judge her response when you were so blatantly trying to poke the bear.

[entropynow]

@MessyBunPersonified

Why did you even ask, knowing they are on really bad terms?

What she said is a pretty average response when asked about someone you don't like imo.

You would also be on here writing a post if she had broken down in tears about it I imagine

It's an "average" response to wish someone you don't like dead?!!
Blimey I'm glad I don't share your social circle, they all sound foul.

[RunningFromInsanity]

There is one particular person that if he died, my life would immediately and significantly be better.
I wish him dead.
I probably wouldn’t say it to anyone though.