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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to finally share this secret!

343 replies

hereforever · 14/09/2022 09:40

Name changed as potentially identifying, but been here forever.

Many years ago (deliberately being vague but 10+ years ago) my dh came home from work and said he has a massive secret to tell me, that I couldn't tell another soul.....that his company was designing and building the Queen's Hearse. The business is just a small family-run firm based in the North, and whilst they had been making Jaguar hearses for years this was totally unexpected.
The whole team worked really hard on it and it was built with the utmost secrecy and respect, kept hidden until now - very few people even knew it existed (it's been hard sometimes not sharing with family).

I'm having mixed emotions since we saw it on tv last night - as I want to shout from the rooftops how proud I am of DH and the team but so far this is the only place I've shared as I don't want to look crass in what is a very sad time for our country.

So AIBU to finally share this secret and whilst it is very sad, also be very honoured to be part of our Queen's final journey.

to finally share this secret!
OP posts:
TrashyPanda · 14/09/2022 12:14

It looked magnificent

well done to the whole team

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 14/09/2022 12:16

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 11:23

Grisly is exactly the word I meant to use, fully conscious of it's meaning.

We can't all be persuaded to agree on everything to do with the rf.

So grisly stands, as far as I'm concerned.

@goodbyestranger

grisly -horror and disgust

really.

because a car has a glass roof & a wooden box in it?

strange but if you really meant horror & disgust then fine. Your choice to feel that way, but millions don't.

themessygarden · 14/09/2022 12:16

I have commented more than once on how beautiful the hearse is, last night arriving in Buckingham Palace and as it was being followed from Balmoral.

Congrats to your husband and his company.

Hmmph · 14/09/2022 12:18

Sparklingbrook · 14/09/2022 11:44

Yes it’s an odd thought isn’t it? Makes me wonder if I should be thinking about what I’d like. 😄

Show quote history

You should. It would make life much easier for your family in their time of grief if you wrote down what you would like for your funeral.

KassandraOfSparta · 14/09/2022 12:18

I get it, OP. A huge honour and a very important job. Well done him.

IcedOatLatte · 14/09/2022 12:19

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 11:53

Do you lack emotional intelligence and an understanding that not everyone is like you on all matters or just this one?

If you read my previous post I took time out to say my personal opinion/ seems to me. So possibly read before you write another time.

Or you could re-read what you wrote

And why to people want to gawp at a coffin anyhow. It's just weird

That isn't a personal opinion, you are asking a question from which the clear inference is that you don't understand why people are behaving in the way that they are. Usually people can understand the behaviour of others even if it differs from their own hence my question as you don't seem to be able to do that.

nalabae · 14/09/2022 12:19

I wish my life was so simple I got happy over a car carrying a woman that wouldn’t care if I burnt alive

10HailMarys · 14/09/2022 12:21

I'm no royalist but I'd be proud too, OP. Anything where you get to work on something prestigious and high profile is exciting, regardless of what it is, and as others have said, it is clearly not 'just a car'. It's custom-built to massively complex specifications and has to look pristine and perfect in the eyes of billions of people worldwide. Plus there will be all sorts of security factors to consider in the build, and I'm guessing engine modifications to make it smooth and comfortable to drive at a very slow speed for hours at a time.

One of my grandparents used to have a side-line in making a fairly specific type of prop/costume item for the film industry and I still feel proud when I see his work pop up in some old film or TV series from the 70s, so if I can feel proud over something that small, I think you're more than entitled to feel proud over something THIS prestigious!

Mangogogogo · 14/09/2022 12:24

Op remember the people on here full of bitterness are the ones who post here moaning they have no friends or family and their partners hate them. So ignore!

very well done to your DH I would be beyond proud too!

i do stuff at work and I’m super proud and that’s okay!

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 12:26

IcedOatLatte you're being remarkably troublemaking.

I would be (mildly) interested if someone who wanted to look coffins told me what exactly they get out of it, since the idea is anathema to me. Where's this fount of emotional intelligence that you imply you possess? Or are you just one of these types who shuts down all discussion? I assume so, since they seem to be everywhere these past few days.

10HailMarys · 14/09/2022 12:26

And why to people want to gawp at a coffin anyhow. It's just weird

I mean... have you ever been to a funeral? Because that's literally what happens at any funeral procession. The coffin is driven, usually visible in the hearse, through the streets in full view of the public, then carried in while people watch, and then it sits there to be gawped at for the duration of the service. It's really common for neighbours who aren't invited to the funeral to come out and watch to pay their respects when the hearse departs the family home, too.

Moonlightdust · 14/09/2022 12:27

I’m finding it ever increasing on mumsnet of people being critical and rude. If you can’t say anything nice, just don’t say anything at all.

IcedOatLatte · 14/09/2022 12:27

nalabae · 14/09/2022 12:19

I wish my life was so simple I got happy over a car carrying a woman that wouldn’t care if I burnt alive

The crazies sure are out in force today, was there a klaxon?

W0tnow · 14/09/2022 12:28

The queen would absolutely have had 109% input in the design. The glass sides/top? Totally would have been her idea, or she’d have approved it. She’d have known that People would come out in their thousands to see the coffin. She made sure as many as possible could. Hence also, the light inside.

charabang · 14/09/2022 12:29

I think it's lovely that your DP feels that he had a part to play in this moment in time. It is very special and also interesting to hear how far in advance these things are planned. Thank you for sharing.

olympicsrock · 14/09/2022 12:30

Great job OP’s husband. You should be very proud.

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 12:30

Yes I've certainly been to funerals, including close family. And plenty of hearses drive through our village past my house as I live close to the church and my house is right on the street. I don't look at the coffins, it seems intrusive to me in the case of those I didn't know well and upsetting in the case of those I did.

Nottogetapenny · 14/09/2022 12:31

You must be so proud. Also the secret you and your husband has keep all these years is a credit to you both. Enjoy in the knowledge that it’s something your husband work will now go down in history.

BMW6 · 14/09/2022 12:34

Superb design and craftsmanship, very well done !

It looked fantastic being driven in the dark. Everyone who turned out to stand in the rain got a clear view to pay their respects.

IcedOatLatte · 14/09/2022 12:34

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 12:26

IcedOatLatte you're being remarkably troublemaking.

I would be (mildly) interested if someone who wanted to look coffins told me what exactly they get out of it, since the idea is anathema to me. Where's this fount of emotional intelligence that you imply you possess? Or are you just one of these types who shuts down all discussion? I assume so, since they seem to be everywhere these past few days.

I see @10HailMarys has given you some insight into how funerals work

My question to you isn't about why people do it it's about why you seem to be totally unable to acknowledge that watching funeral processions is a normal thing that happens up and down the country every single day. People watch even processions of strangers.

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 12:38

Yes I've certainly been to funerals, including close family. And plenty of hearses drive through our village past my house as I live close to the church and my house is right on the street. I don't look at the coffins, it seems intrusive to me in the case of those I didn't know well and upsetting in the case of those I did

That's my reply to the insight given IcedOatLatte. Please stop the troublemaking.

Namechangeforthis88 · 14/09/2022 12:38

I went to school with the funeral director for Operation Unicorn. He was a lovely lad from the age of 5-12. So much so I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm sure he still is to this day.

goodbyestranger · 14/09/2022 12:39

And I have to say that your own question shows a profound lack of understanding of any position other than your own, which is a little ironic.

ThedaBara · 14/09/2022 12:39

Thats very exciting, and we'll done him! My grandfather was once asked to make something which became an official state gift to a visiting head of another state. Nobody ever saw it, it's probably gathering dust in some official chamber now, but he always said that he was a little part of history

noirchatsdeux · 14/09/2022 12:40

yawns

checks nails

goes to watch paint dry