Do you forgive and forget things that people say to you in anger during and argument ?

[FEF]

Just pondering on this today.

I find it really difficult to forget insults I have received in an argument and I never forget them.

I've been called some nasty things by husband, mother in law, sister in law. They then say they didn't mean it because they were angry at the time. But I think it's their true opinion of me actually surfacing.

I'm sure I have been guilty of doing it to other people too. Where do you stand on it ? Do you just forgive and forget ? If your mother in law called you crazy during an argument or if your husband called you lazy or whatever ?

OP "I've been called some nasty things by husband, mother in law, sister in law"

i can't get my head round this, but I'm not married. Does it happen often?

Nope. Except my children.

Exactly this. I can't believe the replies on this thread, though I suspect most people are talking at cross purposes, as everyone has a very individual interpretation of what they consider insulting or unforgivable.

However, all these pp who are saying, "it's what they really think of you, so you should hold a grudge and never forgive them" must be very bitter.

Unless you're some kind of saint, you have negative opinions of most people at some point or another don't you? Those opinions don't necessarily stay the same, even possibly from moment to moment, if it's someone close to you.

I'm with RuPaul on this - what other people think of me is none of my business. If they express that they're pissed off with me in a heated moment, I'm not going to hold that against them forever, because chances are they won't mean it forever.

If someone really dislikes me on a permanent basis, they're probably not going to be someone I actually have to spend any time with, so I don't care what they think of me. I'm not going to waste my mental energy on them.

I know a couple of people who hold grudges, and they're always bloody whinging about slights from the past. They sound ridiculous to be huffing and puffing about things years, even decades, later.

“A truth that’s said with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.”

OP it’s interesting that the people who do this to you are all part of the same family. Perhaps that’s the dynamics of how they operate as a family, have big blowups where they say hurtful things that are supposed to be forgiven/forgotten later. If so it will be hard to get them to change their behaviour, it will be ingrained.