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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say our 14yo can't go to the football on his own?.

84 replies

wonkylegs · 13/09/2022 19:15

Our 14yo thinks I'm the worlds worst mum for saying he can't go to the premiership football game this weekend on his own.
DH & DS1 have season tickets but DH is working this weekend so they can't go.
We tried to find someone else to take him but unfortunately there is no one else who can and I have to look after DS2.
He's a sensible lad but it's an hour away (he can get the train) and although the crowd are usually good natured it's 50,000 people and the drunk prays are usually on the train.
He can go to the next one.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Goldencarp · 13/09/2022 19:17

No you’re not. He’s far too young to be doing that trip on his own.

Judgedbycats · 13/09/2022 19:17

Can't his dad leans his ticket to a friend so they could go together?

Sophfreddie · 13/09/2022 19:19

No, not unreasonable!
Is there anyone who could look after your other son, so you could take him? X

Original poster
wonkylegs · 13/09/2022 19:50

We've exhausted all avenues for people who could go with him or look after DS2.
It's just a tricky weekend combined with family and friend illnesses/commitments.
I think he's taking it hard because he's already grumpy about going back to school.

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 13/09/2022 19:53

No way

everylittlehelp5 · 13/09/2022 20:00

Could DS2 go with you?
I wouldn't let my 14 yo go alone either.

Workyticket · 13/09/2022 20:02

Can 1 of his mates not go on dh's ticket??

Hibernationsetting · 13/09/2022 20:05

I’d let him go, but I’d drop him off and pick him up. Either by driving or by going on the train. The train home with the drunk would be my concern.

Dacadactyl · 13/09/2022 20:12

Hibernationsetting · 13/09/2022 20:05

I’d let him go, but I’d drop him off and pick him up. Either by driving or by going on the train. The train home with the drunk would be my concern.

If this is possible then I might say yes. But no, at 14 I wouldn't let him get a train for an hour with a load of people who've been drinking.

gogohmm · 13/09/2022 20:18

I'd let him go at 14, take a friend.

MoreTeaLessCoffee · 13/09/2022 20:21

Going against the grain but I was going by myself at that age and sometimes just with my younger sister. That was only 15 years ago. Football grounds are pretty safe, especially premiership ones. Safer than gigs I'd reckon.

FlissyPaps · 13/09/2022 20:21

I think if he’s a sensible kid, knows his way to and around the ground, doesn’t wear a football shirt/scarf so isn’t an easy target for any fights from rivals I’d let him go. I’d be inclined to give him a lift or to pay for a taxi though rather than the train.

RedHelenB · 13/09/2022 20:22

wonkylegs · 13/09/2022 19:15

Our 14yo thinks I'm the worlds worst mum for saying he can't go to the premiership football game this weekend on his own.
DH & DS1 have season tickets but DH is working this weekend so they can't go.
We tried to find someone else to take him but unfortunately there is no one else who can and I have to look after DS2.
He's a sensible lad but it's an hour away (he can get the train) and although the crowd are usually good natured it's 50,000 people and the drunk prays are usually on the train.
He can go to the next one.
AIBU?

I think yabu. As long as the ground will let him in ( our club you can go in by yourself at age 14)

Florenz · 13/09/2022 20:23

Plenty of 14 year olds go to football matches on their own/with friends their own age. YABU.

Hellocatshome · 13/09/2022 20:23

I'd let one of his friends go with him. My DS has been going to football matches with his friends (no adults) from the age if 12. Yes some people get drunk, not as many as you think, there is a big family element to going to the football these days. Just because people are drunk doesn't automatically make them a threat. There will be plenty of not drunk people around. I would get him to phone when he gets safely into the stadium, phone when he is leaving, phone when he is on the train etc then leave him to it, he will have a brilliant day with his friend.

Olsi109 · 13/09/2022 20:28

Does he have any of his own friends that want to go? Are you able to pick him up? My DD 14 goes on with her DSis 12 if DH isn't using his ticket. Granted we live in walking distance ish to our ground.

Angelinflipflops · 13/09/2022 20:31

100% yes would let him go

Blanketpolicy · 13/09/2022 20:34

Has he got a friend who can go with him, or can he go on a supporters bus?

Ds started going to games with friends on supporters buses at 14, but it was SPL so not as big cities as EPL.

Original poster
wonkylegs · 13/09/2022 20:40

I think if it was in the next town I would probably be just about ok with it but it's the fact that it's in a city an hour away and if anything happened it would take quite an effort for me to get there.
He's a good kid but can be fairly oblivious and doesn't always have the most common sense, I think even the train being delayed would throw him. He's allowed to go into town by himself or with his mates so does get some freedom and responsibility I just think this is a big leap.
It's not a one off chance that he's missing it's one game he gets to go to the rest of them.
I do feel a little bad but it's not like we haven't tried to make alternative arrangements.

OP posts:
LionessesRules · 13/09/2022 20:41

What football match? Dad sometimes took the kids, but to carefully selected matches not known for trouble.
DS has been to a couple with Cadets, and I've never seen so many riot vans and arrests. So, I'd say maybe with a mate if known to be an OK clash. Not a chance in hell if it might be fractious.

blacksheep2014 · 13/09/2022 20:43

Is there maybe a supporters bus that runs from somewhere more local? Plenty of kids aged 14 and over travel with us and often without their parent/guardian

PlanetNormal · 13/09/2022 20:47

I’m a season ticket holder at a Championship club and I would definitely let him go. I can’t think of many safer environments for a teenager than a professionally stewarded, well policed PL stadium. Some people’s perceptions of what goes on at football matches is 30+ years out of date, and stuck in the bad old days of the 1980s.

VariationsonaTheme · 13/09/2022 20:47

If it’s a journey he makes regularly I would let him go.

museumum · 13/09/2022 20:48

Can you and ds2 take him and do something else in that city for two hours?

RusholmeRuffian · 13/09/2022 20:49

Let him go! Loads of kids his age go to football up and down the country every week including to away games without adults. Contrary to what some would have you believe, we football fans look out for each other and I am certain a fellow fan would help him out if he had a problem.