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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say our 14yo can't go to the football on his own?.

84 replies

wonkylegs · 13/09/2022 19:15

Our 14yo thinks I'm the worlds worst mum for saying he can't go to the premiership football game this weekend on his own.
DH & DS1 have season tickets but DH is working this weekend so they can't go.
We tried to find someone else to take him but unfortunately there is no one else who can and I have to look after DS2.
He's a sensible lad but it's an hour away (he can get the train) and although the crowd are usually good natured it's 50,000 people and the drunk prays are usually on the train.
He can go to the next one.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Workyticket · 13/09/2022 22:09

My dh and ds are NUFC ticket holders.

Dh couldn't go one game last season so I took ds who was 9 - I felt really safe and ds could navigate the ground like a pro

Could you get an ealier train all together to avoid the footy train (train or metro?) Or take the car?

Loads to do with a 6 year old in Newcastle. Park at Newcastle College (think it's a fiver?) and walk down Scotswood Road.

You and the little one can hit the Discovery museum and ds keeps walking up to St James'? That avoids trains and most of the pubs to walk past too

Jules198 · 13/09/2022 22:23

Take him and potter for 2 hrs. Great way to build up his independence

TokyoSushi · 13/09/2022 22:23

I'd let him go but you and DS travel with him

firsttimemama · 13/09/2022 22:34

Newcastle v Bournemouth daytime game seems like the perfect game for him to go to on his own for the first time.

superram · 13/09/2022 22:48

He’ll be fine, let him go. If the train is delayed he can ask someone. Go through scenarios.

Cazs818 · 13/09/2022 22:53

I was going to home & away games alone at 13/14 , premier games and lower league . Having the freedom taught me so much , problem solving being one of them 🤣 , I would of been totally heart broken if I was told I couldn’t go , I never gave any cause for concern always kepted people updated on my location & of any delays etc

the stewards , police , even transportation staff will always assist if a problem ever arises

LilacPoppy · 13/09/2022 23:39

Newcastle definitely.

Kite22 · 13/09/2022 23:48

I mean, I don't know your lad, and you do, but I would have let any of mine at 14 go.
Especially, as he has a season ticket and knows the ground and everything.

Odd that he doesn't have anyone that would take up the offer of a free ticket for a match - you don't have to be a Newcastle Fan to think that would be a good way to spend an afternoon with a mate.

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 13/09/2022 23:51

I would let him. 14 year olds can get trains for an hour to go to stuff especially as you said he seems sensible. I don't think that is too young.

lailamaria · 14/09/2022 00:35

he's 14 you'll never want to let him go alone but he has too at some point, how tall is he if he looks older he might be alright anyway but also is he even allowed in the stadium under 16?

Marvellousmadness · 14/09/2022 00:37

Of course you are the worst parent

To him!!

But to the rest of the world

You are the best parent for keeping your kid safe

Pantsomime · 14/09/2022 00:47

best option- drive him up and you and DS do centre 4 life or discovery museum opposite

ManateeFair · 14/09/2022 00:55

I’d let him go. Football matches are probably safer than they’ve ever been these days, and a 14-year-old will probably be far safer than an 18-year-old. A young teenager is highly unlikely to be anyone’s target if they’re looking for a fight.

ManateeFair · 14/09/2022 00:58

Just seen it’s Newcastle v Bournemouth you’re talking about. OP, that is possibly the safest Premier League fixture imaginable.

VariationsonaTheme · 15/09/2022 18:14

Newcastle, I would absolutely let him go.

waterrat · 15/09/2022 18:47

Oh i used to go alone at this age and i am female ! That really stood out in the early 90s ! Me and a friend would go to games just us....no phones either.

I think its fine. Most football games are heavily policed. What is it you are worried about could you talk through situations?

ManagementPlan · 15/09/2022 18:50

If it's a trip he's done before and an event he's a regular at, I'd let him go, although possibly not if it's in London this weekend because of the transport chaos predicted.

My DS travelled to Corwall to join a friend's holiday at the same age (we got back from our holiday the day after they left, so he went down on the train) and football matches are incredibly well stewarded.

ManagementPlan · 15/09/2022 18:51

ManateeFair · 14/09/2022 00:58

Just seen it’s Newcastle v Bournemouth you’re talking about. OP, that is possibly the safest Premier League fixture imaginable.

Oh blimey. Yes absolutely let him. That's a lovely entry level game 😆

Carpy88999 · 15/09/2022 19:04

14 is plenty old enough to do these things alone.

BaronessBomburst · 15/09/2022 19:13

I used to go to Bournemouth games on my own at that age!

Workyticket · 17/09/2022 13:50

Did you let him go op? I'm heading into Newcastle now for a mooch round the shops while dh and ds go to the match 😀

Nolongera · 17/09/2022 14:28

I hope he went! Newcastle city centre is the safest and greatest place on earth on a home match day.

Murdoch1949 · 17/09/2022 23:35

Clubs usually organise coaches for away fixtures. That would be preferable.

Hellocatshome · 18/09/2022 09:10

Murdoch1949 · 17/09/2022 23:35

Clubs usually organise coaches for away fixtures. That would be preferable.

But it was a home game so not really relevant. I think if OP is concerned about her 14 year old going to a home game alone she is unlikely to stick him on the supporters coach to an away game.

ivykaty44 · 20/11/2022 17:48

I would agree to letting him go, if you have a problem with the train afterwards, let him go on the train & pick him up from an arranged point afterwards.

tell him to start leaving asap after the final whistle and run, so you don’t get caught in all the traffic.