Are you "allowed" to talk to child outside school gates?

[Macbeth8]

Bit of a "should I have" moment

Day off and I always have the toddler- she doesnt go to any nursery or preschool yet.
She has gotten used to her big sis being home for the summer and seems lost without her. Bless
Before summer my 4 year old would only do 4 days at nurseryso we always had one day off all together
Shes just started Primary. And today I took toddler out to cheer her up, to cafe and the library which so happens to be near dd1s school so decided to have a walk past with no idea if it was their play out time!
Anyway it so happens it was! And dd1 was out with her friends n spotted us. They came running to the gate and wanted to talk. Dd2 had some blackberries in her hand and dd1&her mates all asked if they could have one
I just gave them 1 each n told them to go back&play. Just as I walked by, another parent who also has a son in my dds class walked past too - she gave me a really annoyed, angry look..I said hi (because recognised her) but didn't look happy at all! I think she had just pulled up and saw me hand those blackberries to them!
Im really distressed now worrying she might have reported me or tell the other mums!
Ive not seen any rules stating you arent allowed to do this? Was I wrong? I feel like an idiot now.

Should I mention it in the school group chat?

No, you're over-worrying. Just don't do it again.

No I wouldn't mention it in the chat at all. There's no need to. You know not to do it again and you can say the same to the teacher if they ask you about it.
I wouldn't worry about it now, just forget about it.

If she had said it was so&sos mum I wouldnt have minded personally
A complete stranger yes!!
Just to reiterate the two girls who my dd was with are friends that have had playdates at my house or elsewhere.
One mum I know pretty well (more text convos)
And the other girls mum I know to say hi to but not close or anything.

They both also know my toddler so they were excited to see her as well (they are obsessed with playing mummys n babys)

Don't put it in any group chats.

The school might remind the children not to talk through the fences, they might even remind the adults in the newsletter. But it's over now. Worse things happen at sea and all that.

Maybe I should just text both mums seprately and tell them I walked past with toddler and gave in to their blackberry demands!!
do you think they would come home and tell their mummies ?

Saying hello in passing was probably OK as long as you didn't linger.

Handing out food through the railings crossed a line.

Children are taught not to share food at school because of allergies, diets like vegetarianism etc Sharing the food was a bad idea but waving is fine. If you were a man doing that, you'd risk someone calling the police on you for talking to kids.

Don’t do anything. You fed them once with good intentions & now you know that it wasn’t a brilliant idea so won’t do it again.

Don't worry about it. It's one those things you don't think about until it's done. There's no need to tell their parents.

The other mum probably didn't recognise you and thought you were a stranger talking to DCs and giving them treats. 😀
I sometimes end up near DC's school at playtime and stop to say hello, drop off a treat. No-one bothers.
But there was a situation at our school a few years ago where a random adult walked past the playground at breaktime every day and chatted to the DCs. Obviously that was inappropriate and raised lots of concerns.

Christ. When on a late shift I used to sometimes walk the dog past DN’s school. If it was their break time, she and her friends would come running over to say hello (dog is v cute). Never crossed my mind I was doing anything wrong, walking on a public footpath and speaking to a member of my family.

No don't do it again.

I would avoid walking past the school at playtimes. It sounds like you're engineering a visit to see her.

Let her play. If she's talking to you she's not playing with her friends or playing . They don't get long to run around! Don't interfere.

I would wave to my kids and walk past but wouldn’t stop and chat, and handing out food was definitely inappropriate I would have given a funny look as well if I saw that

Don’t go near the school 😂😂 ffs what do you think the parents do who live near it or for people in a village where the school is slap bang in the middle ? Wear a disguise? Stay in the house all day every day in teen time? I’m getting Ann from Motherland vibes off this thread 😅

Aren’t you worried that any stranger could just got to your DCs school gates and just hand children over food or something even worse. I really hope she reports it.

its really not appropriate to be feeding other peoples kids you don’t know their dietary. You should’ve just said hi and kept on moving.

Although in our area children can't get close enough to the public to pass food. Gated off etc. The member of staff on duty might not know who you are and children shouldn't be talking to strangers. In school mode let them focus on school.

Some kids are upset by seeing mum go again. Or others might then go and wait every break. Honestly best to let school be school.

@SecretVictoria ‘ Never crossed my mind I was doing anything wrong, walking on a public footpath and speaking to a member of my family.‘

I mean quite !!

as if people would actually call the police, Christ Alive !

Imagine if lots of other parents ended up just walking by, and dropping of treats, it would be a real problem for the staff on playground duty. Kids do not need treats during the school day anyway. They have lunch time to eat.

Yy posters are obviously projecting from their own schools but in our school the staff know all the DCs and all the parents/guardians. Some posters are acting as though OP was handing out crack

I love it if I'm walking past and it happens to be play time. I've often spent a couple of minutes yelling my son's name like a lunatic until I've got his attention!! He's always thrilled to see me there and comes rushing over. No one's ever reacted like this is a problem. I've also sometimes had a chat with my friend who's a teaching assistant through the fence.

Grubby food from a toddler's hand being passed through a fence - she probably wondered who on earth you were. And yeah, don't do that. Parents like to be in control of what their children eat, and 'random shit passed through the nursery fence by a stranger' isn't high on the list.

Lots of parents do end up walking by at the same time because we're at events in the school or the hall and our school is very central. So yy lots of us are there at the same time, nodding to DCs, chatting to DCs, passing over bottles of water, etc. Having a chat with the teachers on playground duty.
And tbh I don't even know where to start with your absurd claim that seems to imply DCs don't eat at break only at lunch.

A child with a dairy allergy died in our local high school when another child threw cheese at him. All it took was skin contact.

Frankly food allergies are no joke. You can be confident a nursery will be berry free but apparently now you have to worry about your kids being fed by utter strangers who don't have boundaries.

I think yelling your childs name when they're playing at school is a bit off tbh. In a lot of schools they'd be reminding kids not to talk to people at the gates- and maybe ask you not to!

Honestly OP I think this thread is going to get you all anxious - I think it is a complete non issue and I definitely wouldn't go messaging anyone about it!!

I'm sure you wouldn't have planned "I'm gonna go and post food to random kids through the school gates". But it just caught you off guard - the kids (who you know) asked for a blackberry and you let them have one. Perhaps it wasn't ideal but it is really a non issue! If anyone puts in a complaint because their kid's friend's mum gave them a single blackberry, then frankly they have too much time on their hands!