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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Assaulted in the Swimming Pool - Worth Reporting?

294 replies

RedEcho · 12/09/2022 21:04

Name changed in case identifying.

Today I was at my local pool, which is always very quiet around this time of year. There is always one lane up, the pool was empty apart from one man swimming very slow breastroke up the middle of the lane. I headed for the lane, he saw me and so I started swimming up one side to go in the usual clockwise direction that is standard in lanes. I do a reasonably quick, efficient front crawl. The third time of doing this, he sort of paused as I passed him on the other side (I could see him under the water) and then I felt a pressure on my left shoulder and he pushed me down under the water.

I had a couple of moments of panic where you can't breathe and then he must have removed his hand and I bobbed up. Then he started shouting at me, I don't even know what. I told him to leave me alone. The lifeguard did nothing. I resumed swimming and tried not to make a fuss. He seemed to disappear after that.

At one point in my swim, I stopped to get my pull bouy at the end of the lane and he must have been in the showers opposite because the same man walked to the front of the lane and started shouting at me again. Something to do with swimming that he seemed to take great objection to and he asked me what I thought I was doing. I called the lifeguard over and he was rather blase and claimed that we had swam into each other. We had not. I actually cried out in shock quite loudly when I surfaced and the lifeguard admitted hearing this. The man deliberately assaulted me by putting his hand on my shoulder and pushing me under, and there had been plenty of room to pass. I told the man, repeatedly to leave me alone and said that I was here to swim. I had to shout at him 5 times to leave me alone while the lifeguard did nothing. Eventually he moved away.

Once I'd finished swimming I spoke to the lifeguard and asked him what he had seen/heard. He again claimed that we had swam into each other and was prevaricative when I asked why he hadn't told the man to leave me alone and why he didn't seem to understand what that meant. I realised I was getting nowhere with him as he was probably sticking up for the other man and left.

I think what happened is that the man in the lane expected me to acknowledge him, chat to him a bit or something (I really feel uncomfortable talking to strangers in pools wearing just a swimsuit) and when I ignored him and just got on with swimming, he decided to do something to draw my attention to him, like a "she's not getting away with me ignoring me".

I'm absolutely fuming though. You feel so vulnerable when you're in a swimsuit in an almost empty pool and it was a proper assault. I mean I'm not injured, but it was horrible. I won't use that pool again, I've heard of other people having similar troubles there and I'll use a different one further away, but is there any point at all in reporting this to the police? The lifeguard is obviously going to be of little or no help and the man is only going to claim I swam into him or some other made up story.

OP posts:
LexMitior · 12/09/2022 21:07

This guy sounds unhinged.

Yes, report it.

Hopeandlove · 12/09/2022 21:09

Report and put in a formal complaint

Moveorstay2022 · 12/09/2022 21:09

Yes I would report it, and I would make a formal complaint to the management. If you don't go again, then at least it will force them to sort out their poolside vigilance and avoid it happening again to another woman person

mycatisannoying · 12/09/2022 21:10

Fucker!!! Not that the lifeguard was much better Hmm
Hope you're ok, OP Flowers A really horrid experience.

Cervinia · 12/09/2022 21:10

Yes report it, lane swimmers tend to be regulars, he will likely do it again to someone else. You may also see him again.

KangarooKenny · 12/09/2022 21:11

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BakedTattie · 12/09/2022 21:12

That’s awful and must have been so scary.

i would put in a formal compliant, and i’d escalate it as high as poss.

also report to police.

LargeglassofRosePlease · 12/09/2022 21:13

Hope you’re okay. Sounds awful. Definitely complain and unmumsnetty hugs from me x

NotThoseKindOfEggs · 12/09/2022 21:14

Why didn’t you just use the other empty part of the pool to swim? I hate sharing a lane and someone pressurising me in a lane when the rest of the pool is empty is odd. It doesn’t excuse his behaviour but I don’t think he was mad at you for ignoring him, but probably pissed off that you were ‘invading his space.’

DahliasLove · 12/09/2022 21:15

People asking why you didn’t use the rest of the pool when this man PUSHED YOU UNDER WATER!?!? Report him. That’s wild and extremely unhinged.

RedEcho · 12/09/2022 21:16

Cervinia · 12/09/2022 21:10

Yes report it, lane swimmers tend to be regulars, he will likely do it again to someone else. You may also see him again.

The strange thing was, he wasn't a regular, or at least if he was, he was swimming at a different time from usual. I am a regular at that time.

Another woman told me she had been shouted at by a man in the same pool and also that another person (a man this time) had been threatened that he would be beaten up outside the pool due to an argument in the pool. Its a small seaside town but obviously with quite a rough element!

I really did not get a good vibe from the lifeguard. The whole thing was so weird. I am sure that lifeguard will simply lie through his teeth.

OP posts:
RedEcho · 12/09/2022 21:17

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The rest of the pool was full of inflatables not being used, not suitable for swimming properly in.

OP posts:
justfiveminutes · 12/09/2022 21:18

Did he definitely intentionally push your shoulder down with his hand? I am just wondering whether there is any truth to the collision story that the lifeguard felt he had witnessed. Presumably, from his vantage point, he would have seen you both on course to collide (or not). Could he have struck you with his hand, elbow, knee and then had his own moment of panic or disorientation? If you are certain, yes report.

HotPenguin · 12/09/2022 21:19

Yes complain, it's likely there is CCTV. The lifeguard probably didn't know what to do, he was there to stop people drowning not to deal with assaults/arguments and was probably out of his depth.

ShandaLear · 12/09/2022 21:19

There may be CCTV footage. Is the pool monitored?

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 12/09/2022 21:19

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Um, what the fuck? What does that have to do with her being assaulted? Do you ask someone who is mugged in Rome why they didn't just stay home?!

RedEcho · 12/09/2022 21:21

justfiveminutes · 12/09/2022 21:18

Did he definitely intentionally push your shoulder down with his hand? I am just wondering whether there is any truth to the collision story that the lifeguard felt he had witnessed. Presumably, from his vantage point, he would have seen you both on course to collide (or not). Could he have struck you with his hand, elbow, knee and then had his own moment of panic or disorientation? If you are certain, yes report.

Absolutely intentional and a very heavy downwards push. He then started shouting at me when I resurfaced. I'm a very experienced swimmer and adapt at going up and down lanes without making contact with anyone. This man was swimming deliberately wide but even so I had gone so far over that I had plenty of room to pass and he deliberately sort of stopped as I went past to do it.

There was no collision, only his bloody great hand pushing my shoulder down and I went down quite deep and quickly into the water, which was why I had that moment of panic that I couldn't breathe.

I've been swimming all my life, nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I've had a few lane rage incidents but this was beyond weird (the nearly empty pool, the weird lifeguard and the man taking up so much room) and and absolutely, 100% deliberate.

OP posts:
ColeensBoot · 12/09/2022 21:21

Definitely report to the police and swimming pool manager.

RedEcho · 12/09/2022 21:22

HotPenguin · 12/09/2022 21:19

Yes complain, it's likely there is CCTV. The lifeguard probably didn't know what to do, he was there to stop people drowning not to deal with assaults/arguments and was probably out of his depth.

He was being an arse.

OP posts:
TeaTurtle · 12/09/2022 21:23

How awful Flowers

Yes report him. He is dangerous. Probably not the first time he’s done it as he sounds too practised at trying to get his version in before yours.

The lifeguard acted appallingly so I would complain about him too 😡

RedHelenB · 12/09/2022 21:23

I doubt the lifeguard saw exactly what happened.if have got out the pool straight away , I wouldn't have felt safe thinking someone was going to drown me. And yes, you should report it, preferably at the time.

MindGoneBlankNeedName · 12/09/2022 21:25

I'd want to see the security footage.

Potatomashed · 12/09/2022 21:25

Who on earth are the 10% who voted YABU?! He assaulted you in the pool and the lifeguard clearly needs further training in safeguarding. Of course you are feeling a sense of increased vulnerability in a swim suit in the pool. Even if he hadn’t touched you and just shouted, it’s completely inappropriate. I think a formal written complaint to the manager and overall sports centre CEO is in order. So sorry this happened to you, please don’t stop your regular swimming because of one plonker

DelphiniumBlue · 12/09/2022 21:26

Report the incident and the lifeguard's response. The lifeguard was aware, you shouted several times that the man should leave you alone, and it must have been clear that you were scared. The lifeguard should have reacted professionally - it's not for him to judge whether you were overreacting, he should be aware that if a woman in a swimsuit shouts for a man to get away from her, his role is to step in and keep him away from you. He should have reported this incident himself.

Potatomashed · 12/09/2022 21:26

Possibly the police too