To think that I am not cut out for modern life

[Wenwes]

I suppose should say this is light hearted but I don’t feel light hearted!

I decided to clean my fridge this morning because, clearly, I know how to have a good time.

I fought valiantly to get all the shelves and drawers out. But now that they are all sparklingly clean, I cannot, for the life of me, get them back into the bastard fridge and it’s just all too much.

The only solution I can think of is to retire to a nice quiet convent somewhere on a remote island where I will never have to see, let alone clean, a fridge again.

I am 100 % certain I am not being unreasonable …

I hate to tell you this but I live near a convent and they have a fridge

We are remote-ish but not an island, not sure if this changes things.

😮 Surely not? Well when I am admitted, I will be sure to put on the application form that fridge cleaning duties are not for me.

Shelves are overrated.

Just pile your food up from the bottom, as you would in a chest freezer.

(P.S opening the door to its fullest extent and putting the shelves in at an angle, might help?)

This is as a result of a little known law of physics which states that ‘drawers removed from white goods and exposed to the atmosphere will undergo metamorphosis’. This situation can only be rectified by a large glass of wine after which the metamorphosis tends to be reversed.

Physics is a load of shite :)

Why did I read this thread? I am about to clean the fridge. Now I am grumpy in advance. Things like fridge shelf resistance bring out an unhinged anger in me. I might have to start throwing old potatoes across the kitchen.

You are right, who needs shelves?

Don’t bother cleaning your fridge, go straight to the potato throwing. I might join you.

Have you tried angling the shelves upwards as you attempt to slot them in? Good luck!

It’s so weird isn’t it, like when you take the vacuum cleaner apart and then mysteriously none of the bits go back together

We are coming to winter. You don’t need a fridge, just keep everything outside the back step in a big box to stop the foxes

You clean your fridge?

Short of demolishing the utility room (which is where the fridge currently lives - but it will be finding itself homeless soon) - I’ve tried everything.

The moral of the story is to not clean the fridge. Just give it a wipe now and then, only the bits you can see.

Vacuum cleaner?

Once every five years, yes. Clearly this is too much. Never again.

I think you've just saved my sanity. I might resort to wipes instead.
<chucks a friendly spud at @Wenwes >

@goldfinchonthelawn unless it’s a spud that doesn’t need refrigeration, please don’t chuck it my way :(. It’s just all too much for a Monday morning.

Could you put them back in vertically?

HTH

After another 5 years you will have forgotten the trauma and be ready to try again.

I think the answer (if a convent won’t suffice) is to live off tinned goods, thereby making fridges irrelevant and completely redundant. That will teach them for sure.

On the plus side, I’ve probably expended enough energy with all the shelf wrestling to have a packet of Mr Kipling’s French Fancies. Every cloud … :)

I'd suggest living off cake rather than tinned goods.
Fewer potential tin opener related problems.

At least you have tried I’m still sitting with biscuit and cuppaT thinking about it… have a gold star ⭐️ for achievement

Due to a minor, but consequential, error in spelling, I ended up putting elves back in my fridge. Which might seem cruel, but they seemed quite happy with it. They said the cold reminded them of the North Pole.

The big problem was they kept eating all the cheese, which caused no end of disgruntlement on my part come cheese toastie time.

I’m voting for you to be the next prime minister :)