To think that I am not cut out for modern life

[Wenwes]

I suppose should say this is light hearted but I don’t feel light hearted!

I decided to clean my fridge this morning because, clearly, I know how to have a good time.

I fought valiantly to get all the shelves and drawers out. But now that they are all sparklingly clean, I cannot, for the life of me, get them back into the bastard fridge and it’s just all too much.

The only solution I can think of is to retire to a nice quiet convent somewhere on a remote island where I will never have to see, let alone clean, a fridge again.

I am 100 % certain I am not being unreasonable …

Learn from my mistakes - stay sitting with your cuppa.

Those elves don’t know when they’re on to a good thing. Could you get them to do some shelf cleaning whilst they’re on the spot?

🤣

This, for some reason, reminded me of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - which I must reread, and has made my morning. Thank you!

I’ll take your fridge shelves and raise you duvet covers. Putting them on duvets. Thirty years and I still can’t do it.

Do they have duvets in convents? Surely not.

I loved both the book, and the original BBC TV series. Obviously more than even I realised.

In hindsight, my post does have a definite air of the Vl'Hurgs vs the G'Gugvuntts about it. To be fair, and in solidarity with Mr. A Dent, I too have been having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle lately.

I had exactly the same issue. I knew the theory of how to get it back in. Tilted the shelves, but could I get it to work!
My solution was to leave the shelves on the kitchen table until DP came home and he put them in. If I had been single I would have had to invite a friend round.

I once (insert deep shame face here) phoned an ex to hook up solely so he would put fridge parts back in for me.
Weird kind of prostitution but it was that or the remote convent for me also.

😂🤣 I haven’t laughed so much since the Sex In A Hedge thread.

I think that was a fair deal, tbh.

I've been meaning to clean my fridge for ages but you have given me an excellent reason not to bother.
I'll just rearrange the magnets instead.

@Wenwes I thank you.

It happened to me also with the fridge. After 20minutes of trying to squeeze them in without breaking anything and a ton of swearing about how being an adult is infuriating at times i had a lightbulb moment. Turned them around and at a slant managed to slot them in. And would you believe it they glided, glid? whatever the word is, so super smoothly and easy. And the fridge is super sparkly!

Been there OP, it's like the fucking krypton factor (showing my age!) trying to get them back in and I usually delegate that bit to DH. I am definitely disadvantaged in this area though, I've only just mastered getting the powder drawer on the washer in and out, I'm 47

I feel like this every time I touch a computer.

I recently rejigged our fridge and had the same fight, you have my sympathies. I did eventually get them back in though (witchcraft, I think).

I also stopped using the crisper drawer as salad went there to die.
I put the condiments in it instead (as I'm always happy to hunt down the dressing) & the fruit & veg on the middle shelf at eye level. Gamechanger.

God, I hate that job. And the incessant ‘beeeeeeeeeeeeep’ when you’ve left the bastard door open too long because you can’t get the bastard shelves back in!

Well I’m heartened to see that I am not alone in this. I’m unsure as to what my next move should be though as to re-assembling my fridge shelves and drawers.

Sadly I am widowed so no dh to help out (bastard!) and my only significant ex lives in Maryland. We parted amicably in 1990 but, even so, I’m not sure he’d fly to Berkshire to put my fridge back together again.

No judgement here.

I cooked dinner, along with a, ahem, special dessert so he’d mow my lawn.

No, that is not a euphemism

OP I feel your pain - due to post bereavement depression my house has gone to shit and today I mean to tackle it.

I am terrified of one of our freezers - it is over compensating for the diminishing of ice in the poles and will require a small thermo nuclear charge to tackle it. I mean I respect its efforts to challenge global warming but needs must. I suspect it will not end well and there may be headlines in the local paper tomorrow…..

Shelves are like jeans. If they are not taken out regularly they change size.

Over lockdown, all the jeans in my drawer shrunk. It’s clear your fridge shelves expanded OP. Tis` definitely physics.

Take a deep breath and have another go OP, this time with no expectation that it will actually work so you don't get frustrated I can do mine if I really try but it takes ages to get the right angle, not helped by the fact that our kitchen is tiny and the fridge is against a wall so the door won't go back on itself iyswim. Stoke yourself up on tea and cake and just keep jiggling til you hit the right angle is my advice

Even the Shetland Isles have the infamous "cake fridge" that would leer at you from the roadside and taunt you with its spatially implausible internal structure...

It’s just all so unnecessary isn’t it? I mean, if no one had invented fridges, I’d be perfectly happy salting my meat and preserving my goods that need preserving. As it is, I’ve endured a morning of frustration, and have discovered that, when pushed, I can be worryingly violent towards inanimate objects.

The good news is I’ve managed to get everything back in. The bad news is, in doing so, I’ve broken the door of the cupboard the fridge lives in.

I am never cleaning it again.

Glad it's sorted, @Wenwes . Apart from the broken door..
I was going to ask my sis Lynne the Luddite (but we are sisters & similar) for advice.