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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't want to be 'reigned over' anymore

1000 replies

Yubgftr · 11/09/2022 23:39

While I totally respect the Queen and how she served the country, I think it's now a good time to end the monarchy as I think modern society has outgrown it.

Just the idea that someone inherits the job of head of state through birthright and reigns over us peasants is crazy in this modern age. Then all the ceremonies, titles, line of succession are remnants of a completely different era and tbh remind me of episodes of The Tudors or Game of Thrones, it's just so archaic and out of place.

I think having to bow and curtsey to people just because they were born or married into a special family also seems ridiculous. Why should I have to curtsey to any of them? Not saying I'd be rude or disrespectful but having to bend my knee to a set of people as if they were deities, it's just insane! I think I'd actually feel humiliated.

I also don't get the fawning and crying outside the palace - by all means be respectful and recognise her contribution but crying about someone you've never met? To me it's OTT

Back in medieval times when there was little education and religion was used to manipulate the masses, I can understand why all the peasants went mad for their sovereign and saw them as annointed by God etc etc but we're much more enlightened now (most of us!) so we need to make way for a new way of doing things.

Even a new national anthem - why is it all about the king or queen and god saving them? Why not about the people, the nation as a whole?

That said, I also hate the idea of someone like Boris Johnson being head of state and I bet that's a role he'd go for if we were a Republic. Swings and Roundabouts!

YABU - God save the king, monarchy forever
YANBU - time to end the monarchy

OP posts:
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6
LongLivedQueen · 12/09/2022 10:11

TeenyQueen · 12/09/2022 09:58

Careful what you wish for. There will always be leaders who live a life of unimaginable privilege and wealth, whether they are elected politicians or royalty. If we were to become a republic we'd have a president who lives in a palace, and this president would likely carry little political power. I grew up in a republic and this is what we have, a president who has few political powers but is still the head of state, effectively very similar to royalty minus the continuity and consistency.

Also, if you removed the monarchy would you still expect the Royal Family to carry on supporting their numerous patronage and charities? Who would attract world leaders to visit London in the way the monarchy does? It's public knowledge that the soft political power of the monarchy is hugely beneficial to the UK.

Why would you put a President in a palace? We have a president, he is well loved, lives in the Presidents residence (it is not a palace!) and he voluntarily takes a much lower salary than entitled to.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 12/09/2022 10:12

DesertOrchi · 12/09/2022 10:11

So you want president blair !!! brown!!! cameron!!!! or any of the other idiot prime ministers we have had,because that is what you will get if you get rid of the Monarchy and it will cost just as much !

QED.

rnsaslkih · 12/09/2022 10:14

Yabu
unless you work with them or are near them for some other reason, who is making you
curtsey? Are you doing it at the TV?

i can’t imagine how the monarchy impacts you on a day to day basis.

they bring interest, travel and money spends to the uk and are part of British culture

Kellie45 · 12/09/2022 10:14

Johnny Rotten? Obviously we are plumbing the intellectual dregs of society. I believe Brian May of Queen called him ‘A right moron and an idiot’.

Ronbo · 12/09/2022 10:14

Stuffy old boring Britain with its ancient, creaking Monarachy.

I really wish we were a modern, vibrant country: The Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Belgium, Japan - these are the examples we should be following.

PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2022 10:15

DesertOrchi · 12/09/2022 10:11

So you want president blair !!! brown!!! cameron!!!! or any of the other idiot prime ministers we have had,because that is what you will get if you get rid of the Monarchy and it will cost just as much !

BINGO!

Porcupineintherough · 12/09/2022 10:16

How about we change the way the monarchy is funded? Those who support them can fund them, we could create a special voluntary tax code for the purpose.

As for all the "if you don't like it you can leave" comments you seem to have "monarchy " confused with "police state". If the OP and others like her don't like living in a monarchy then she (we) can try and change it via democratic means.

KimberleyClark · 12/09/2022 10:17

PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2022 10:15

BINGO!

I wouldn’t mind someone like Mary Robinson, Mary McAleese or Michael D Higgins as I said upthread.

Changes17 · 12/09/2022 10:17

This kind of thing doesn't help either:
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/sep/11/republican-protesters-arrested-king-charles-proclamation-events

It makes them look pretty worried about the future of the Royal Family tbh - probably more than they need to be.

That said, I think there will be a debate over the next few years. If Charles is sensible he'll give some of it up voluntarily for some kind of slimmed down version.

I kind of don't care because they are pretty irrelevant to me, day to day, But the system we have is massively expensive, archaic and when you think about it (as you do during 10 days in which this is dominating the news!) really creams off public wealth for an unelected aristocracy. The expense of this funeral won't be a great look at a time of financial emergency – nor the suspension of parliament for such a long time when they could be dealing with that crisis.

TeenyQueen · 12/09/2022 10:17

@Meatshake of course royal children aren't above your children, but royal children are expected to spend their lives serving this country whereas your children are completely free to make their own life choices. Which option would you prefer for your own children, a life of public scrutiny, duty and expectations or the freedom to do whatever they want?

My own DC will enjoy a life of relative wealth and privilege without any burdens of public duty.

TheyreOnlyNoodlesMichael · 12/09/2022 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Do you really think this is an acceptable response? A british person must be happy with and unquestioning of the monarchy, or they are told to move to a foreign country? Can you people hear yourselves?

PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2022 10:20

TeenyQueen · 12/09/2022 10:17

@Meatshake of course royal children aren't above your children, but royal children are expected to spend their lives serving this country whereas your children are completely free to make their own life choices. Which option would you prefer for your own children, a life of public scrutiny, duty and expectations or the freedom to do whatever they want?

My own DC will enjoy a life of relative wealth and privilege without any burdens of public duty.

It isn’t an option. That’s the problem. Nobody gets to choose for their child to be royal. I

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/09/2022 10:20

Does it really affect your daily life in any way?

I think having to bow and curtsey to people just because they were born or married into a special family also seems ridiculous.

I doubt you'll ever have to do this, to be honest.

JuneBrowning · 12/09/2022 10:20

It's quite sad when a lot of the arguments for a republic are based on money, and jealousy.

There are many corrupt republics and dictatorships in the world, where the leaders live a very nice life, thank you, and the plebs live in poverty and under oppression.

This is our history and it's pretty unique. I am not conviced that there is a better option, looking around the world at the mess many countries are in.

The argument that the Royals have too many houses is so pathetic, to be honest.

They are part of our heritage and used for entertaining world leaders. What do you suggest? Give them to the National Trust? Ask people to pay to go into them and buy a cup of tea?

If you are looking for waste of public money, look no further than politicians on the left and the right. I'm not just talking about Boris. The Blairs, John Prescott and others hit the headlines years ago for the public money they wasted on doing up their residences. They waste millions on refurbishments of the homes they live in for far less time than the Royals, who are supposedly very frugal. (Anyone see the photos of Princess Anne's living room? Tatty and outdated.)

I am pretty sure that almost every snr royal would far rather be someone else, living a normal life, than being bound by duty.

All the jewels and castles in the world don't bring privacy, freedom or happiness. I don't envy them for a moment.

I do think that the minor Royals , the hangers on, should be made to work and not be supported by the royal purse. And that is how King Charles appears to want to change things.

GaffNest · 12/09/2022 10:21

The monarch of the United Kingdom is a great gig.

A powerless head of state, a figurehead. You are not partisan nor involved politically (so don’t have one half hating you). You get to do all the feel good stuff (Knight people, open places, hand out trophies at sports events, welcome foreign dignitaries etc.)

You really have to be a moron to screw it up.

In contrast, any elected head of state is partisan (so will be hated by one half). You have to do all the dirty stuff (set laws/tax rates, sending people to war, and face a political opponent on a constant basis)

You will likely be despised by the time you leave office.

The UK system, by sheer chance, works brilliantly.

Kellie45 · 12/09/2022 10:22

Ronbo · 12/09/2022 10:14

Stuffy old boring Britain with its ancient, creaking Monarachy.

I really wish we were a modern, vibrant country: The Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Belgium, Japan - these are the examples we should be following.

I think if you went to lived in some of these countries you might want to come back to stuffy old Britain. I’ve noticed the boats in the channel are only going one way

PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2022 10:22

It's quite sad when a lot of the arguments for a republic are based on money, and jealousy.

You’ve missed out democracy. It’s not about money for me. We could have the most bargain bucket royal family possible and it would still be wrong that we have our head of state imposed on us in that way.

AuxArmesCitoyens · 12/09/2022 10:23

Countries with monarchies also include Saudi, Jordan, and Bahrain. Countries without monarchies include Switzerland, France, Portugal, Finland etc. I know where I'd rather live.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 12/09/2022 10:23

AuxArmesCitoyens · 12/09/2022 09:54

I like to think that the Queen and now the King are a voice of reason and restraint in their weekly meetings with the PM.

Well we're lucky the Nazi sympathiser Edward VIII abdicated before leading us into WW2 aren't we?

That's why he was managed out. Wallis was a gift in that respect.

PetalLeaves · 12/09/2022 10:24

EnidSpyton · 12/09/2022 00:46

I couldn’t agree more.

I have always respected the Queen for her sense of duty and personal sacrifice in devoting her life to the job. To know from a very young age that your life is mapped out for you and there is nothing you can do to change it, accept that and do the best you can to carry out that role flawlessly for 70 years is remarkable and I take my hat off to her.

However, you can hold respect for a person while not holding any respect for the institution.

Unfortunately there is a tendency in the British psyche to enjoy the bowing and scraping and pomp and ceremony involved in monarchy and aristocracy, with a bizarre belief that this is inherent to our national identity. Know your place seems to be engrained into many with little desire to question the rights and wrongs of historical inherited privilege and how damaging it is to social mobility and progress.

While it is seen as acceptable for 1% of the population to own 90% of the nation’s land, while it is seen as acceptable for one family, through birth and not merit, to represent an entire country and live in luxury at their expense, while it is seen as acceptable for a monarch to live in a 100+ room palace at the heart of a city where a third of its children live in poverty, we will never see any meaningful societal change that will improve the life changes of everyone.

And depressingly, it is most often those who are most exploited by the class system who support its perpetuation. Just as people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds vote Tory and voted for Brexit, they seem to want to stroke the hand that bites them.

We would be a better country without a monarchy, which is an anachronistic institution in a modern society, representing everything that is most unpleasant about our nation.

And for all of those who claim that our tourism would disappear without the monarchy, that is absolute nonsense. The most visited country in the world is France, and the most visited monument is Versailles. I don’t think I need to add anything more to that fact for you to see my point.

Vive le republic is what I say. No more fawning over utter nonentities. The cringing and forelock tugging I’ve seen on tv over the past few days is truly nauseating.

Nailed it!

PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2022 10:24

The UK system, by sheer chance, works brilliantly.

For who?

AuxArmesCitoyens · 12/09/2022 10:25

The UK system, by sheer chance, works brilliantly.

Does it fuck. It's sheer chance we didn't have a Nazi sympathiser on the throne in WW2, with no way to get rid of him. We're fucking luckily he jumped voluntarily.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 12/09/2022 10:25

@JuneBrowning Anyone see the photos of Princess Anne's living room? Tatty and outdated.

Shabby chic! She's in vogue.

AuxArmesCitoyens · 12/09/2022 10:26

"managed out". And if he'd said no, there's fuck all we could have done about it.

Rosehugger · 12/09/2022 10:27

I really wish we were a modern, vibrant country: The Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Belgium, Japan - these are the examples we should be following

Some of these countries have a monarchy.

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