OH calls me anything but my name…

[Booklover3]

AIBU to be fed up of being called (or referred to) as boss, wife, mummy… but never my bloody name by my husband? I know there are worse terms to use.

Ive asked him to stop doing it. He hasn’t stopped doing it. I call him by his name unless I’m referring to him with the kids and I’ll say “Daddy.”

I feel like I’m reduced to a job role. I know this is a first world problem but he keeps “forgetting” and even other people have remarked on it.

AIBU?

Do the same to him.

To be fair, I rarely call dh by his name - he tends to be daddy (as in in front of ds not when it's just us!) Or babe, or a nickname he had when I met him. It always jolts me a bit when he calls me by my name as he so rarely uses it, but that doesn't bother me.

However yanbu if you prefer him to call you by your name because boss or wife irritates you rather than it being a lighthearted thing. Maybe start referring to him as subordinate and see how he likes it?

Eh I haven't used my husbands actual name when talking to him since our wedding vows!

I actually find it weird when he calls me by my name too

We have pet names

Refer to him as Sperm Doner until he stops

Donor!!

If dh used my actual name, I'd see it as a quiet signal for help! Or that he was v pissed off!!

Tell him he’ll be referring to you as ‘EX-wife’ if he doesn’t lay off.

^

DH and I don't call each other my our names. Usually we use affectionate nicknames. Although we will just shout 'Oi!' Up the stairs to one another.

Start calling him 'random man' or something similar.

It’s not affectionate nicknames it’s literally wife, boss and mummy

Not sure what type of kebab shops you have near you but

ExH only ever used my name when he was hurling abuse at me. He used it like a weapon.

I get what you mean about being given 'occupations', it's demeaning.

Another vote for sperm donor here

It bothers you so YANBU.

If it matters to you then he should care how you feel. He should use your name.

I've been married nearly 25 years and the last time my husband called me by my name was probably on our wedding day. 🤣.

He normally calls me gorgeousness or honey.

Even though I look like if jabba the Hutt dressed up as Bernard Manning.

I joke that he forgot my name after we got married and it's just become too embarrassing to ask me.

And it's worse than just not using your name because he is calling you by your roles with a dose of sarcasm mixed in.

Do the same back.

I hear you. Cant remember the last time dh used my real name, probably over 15yrs ago. He doesn't call me anything else either. He waits until I am near then shouts his question, not even an oi. Doest even refer to me as mum with our kids.

Its just weird. And depressing. I don't exist in his vocabulary.

So do you actually mean he says “Hello boss” or “Wife, could you pass the salt?” Because that is weird, yes.

In what context

Is he talking in caveman type sentences 'wife, get me dinner'

Or 'good morning wife! What are you up to today'

Mummy around the kids isn't unreasonable either

I loathe my husband's name!

Just call him "love"!

No he will say “Boss / My wife is here” to others.

When requesting something from me it would be “Please pass the salt.”

I’ve also had “Is that okay Boss?”

Then YABU

Or even “mummy please pass the salt”

can’t remember the last time I heard “booklover could you please x,y,z”

I literally can’t remember the last time he said my name.

But in those instances he doesn’t even name me in the slightest.

I actually can’t remember the last time he said my name… or even a nice nickname or endearment.

If you're the Boss, logically he must be your employee, or perhaps lackey or minion. I'd call him one of those every single time he calls you boss. Or maybe 'son' if he calls you mummy. What an annoying arse!

Give him a slightly unflattering but affectionate nickname. “Plumpykins” if he’s put on weight, “Baldypoos” if his hairline is receding.