To cancel my son’s party as I’m worried no one will turn up?

[LakeDistrictLass]

I’ve booked a village hall and bouncy castle for my son’s 4th birthday next month.

He’s been desperate for a party for a while now, since he’s been to a few friend’s parties recently.

I’m now really anxious nobody will turn up.
I’ve invited his friends from outside nursery , who we’ve known since we went to baby groups etc and one has already said she can’t come as she has her covid booster and flu jab that day (I didn’t even know they did Saturdays) and she’s vulnerable, so I do understand of course.
Another is heavily pregnant and due in November, so she says she isn’t sure how she’ll be feeling by then.

I’m planning on sending invites out to his nursery classmates, there are only 16 of them as a lot of the previous have moved up to reception now.

Altogether I’ll have invited 23 children.

I’m just not sure whether it’s worth the stress and anxiety.
I’ll lose my deposit if I cancel, but I’m not sure I can cope with the heartbreak of no one arriving on the day and my DS sitting waiting. We’re providing food and party bags too of course. I’m just feeling ill at the thought of doing all that and nobody or just a couple coming.

Also, when would you send invites out at nursery? The party is mid October. I was thinking week after next? Then that’s 3 weeks in advance.

I'm thinking do I put the invite out for all 60 or just his class?

Please don’t invite all 60 kids, it will be a nightmare.

Yeah that was a dim idea. I'm thinking we have 8 family/friends kids and even if only 5 to 10 kids from his class come it should be OK. I can't make butties for 60 kids.

I wouldn't cancel. We've organised lots of kids parties and been to lots too. I always reply the day we get the invitation as I know I will forget otherwise, but I am definitely in the minority.

I my experience you will get at least half of the kids you invite. Once you have replies, you tend to have contact details of parents and can then offer to have siblings too if you want to bulk it out.

The most difficult bit is where you don't have contact details and rely on nursery to hand out invitations. They sometimes put them in bags, rather than into the hand of a parent. If, like me, the parents don't go through their bag they may not find the invitation. I'd recommend handing out invitations about a month before the party with RSVP date 2 weeks before and then reminders to any who haven't replied 10 days before.

@SausageinaBun That’s what they’ve done, put the invites into their book bags, so I’m wondering if some just haven’t seen them.

I know one mum had seen it in the book bag because she mentioned it to me this morning and said they would most likely be coming.

But other than that, nothing.
I don’t have contact details for any parents personally…I’m hoping next week at drop off some of them mention it to me in person, or maybe I can gently bring it up and see if they have received the invite. There will be 4 weeks to go tomorrow, so I assume I may not get replies until nearer the time.

It's Friday evening of a Bank holiday weekend though, surely lots of the parents may not be looking at book bags this evening and might get them out later in the weekend?

True, I guess I’m just getting quite anxious now. As I’m the sort of person who replies straight away.
Some of the parents may not have even looked in their book bag yet, but I’m also thinking it’ll possibly be left and just forgotten about.

I just don’t want my poor DS to think that no one likes him and to turn up to his own party and no one comes…he’ll be so sad. It’s a month away though, so maybe I need to calm down and start panicking nearer the time.

I may well mention it on the playground with the other parents next week maybe and see if I get any response.

Still feeling anxious this morning. I keep checking my phone.
I know there’s a month to go but what I don’t understand is why someone would message neater to the date rather than now, as surely later on they’ll forget.

To be honest I think I might have ASD or something like it, as I don’t know understand why people can’t do things the way I do then or why they do things that in my head don’t make any sense.

Is the party at half term? Kids may be away then.

It must be exhausting being this anxious. You really need to chill out.

But why would nobody come? I think you're catastrophising a bit. And it would be very sad for your son if you cancelled too.

But this is so joyless.

If your going ahead with the party I'd send the nursery invites out ASAP. The more time you give people, the more likely they are to come.
Good luck xx

Does he KNOW about the party? In which case I wouldn’t cancel it. I’ve never held a kids party where no one showed up tbh. A couple might drop out, and the odd one might genuinely forget about it (done it myself) so send a reminder text a day or two beforehand. If you’re really worried about it, do you have reliable family that you can invite to join you? 4 yr olds are remarkably happy bouncing on a bouncy castle with “Uncle Ed” or throwing balloons around with Grandma.
Of he DOESN’T already know about it, I’d be tempted to cancel, purely because it feels as if you are putting a great deal of pressure on yourself and are not coping too well. He will be just as happy going on a nice day trip with a happy you, than feeling the tension building up as the day gets closer.
My OWN experience (not saying that others are wrong for feeling differently) is that having parties before they start school isn’t that big deal for the children, and we only had “proper” parties in primary school. Before that, it was a family trip. After that age, they got to invite one or two friends to do something together.

Nearer thdvtime, if you are worried about numbers, you could extend the invitation to siblings of kids you already invited. But I think I'll be fine

Sorry, just reading this thread now. I would love to know how it went in the end, if you are comfortable to update?